Pump Up The Volume
时间:2007-10-23 10:45:43来源: 作者:
Nora - Alleuelya
Happy Harry Hardon - At least pain is real. You look around and you see nothing is real, but the pain is real. You know, even this show isn't real. This isn't me; I'm using a voice disguiser. I'm a phoney fuck just like my Dad, just like anybody. You see, the real me is just as worried as the rest of you. They say I'm disturbed, well of course I'm disturbed. I mean we're all disturbed, and if we're not, why not? Doesn't this blend of blindness and blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why not do something crazy? It makes a hell of a lot of sense than blowing you fucking brains out you know. Go nuts, go crazy, get creative! You got problems? You just chuck'em, nuke'em! They think you're moody? Make'em think you're crazy, make'em think you might snap! They think you got attitude? You show'em some real attitude! Come on, go nuts, get crazy. Hey no more Mr. Nice Guy. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh god!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh yes. <Paige throws all her stuff in the microwave and turns it on> <Henry Rollins plays> Time out! <Starts to read a letter> This is good, this is really very interesting.<Happy Harry Hardon dials the phone>
Chris - Hello
Happy Harry Hardon - Hi it's me you're on the air. Are you willing to tell my listeners what you told me here in this letter? Do you think they're ready to handle it.
Chris - I'm not ashamed.
Happy Harry Hardon - So tell us what happened.
Chris - This guy I knew, he invited me up to the ridge and I wasn't really sure why, but I was really happy because he's a pretty cool guy, he's an athlete and everything.
Happy Harry Hardon - First of all where was this and how old are you.
Chris - It was just before school. I'm sixteen.
Happy Harry Hardon - Go ahead.
Chris - So we get up there, we take our shirts off and we start fooling around and then I sought of told him how much I liked him, he just smiled and said he knew it. But then, he says why don't we take our pants off and get a tan, so I did it, but he stalled.
Happy Harry Hardon - Go ahead.
Chris - Then two of his friends showed up and they were drinking beer and laughing and they took my clothes and threw them up in the trees. I didn't know what to do. I started to cry but they just laughed at me so I stopped and they just started calling me things. I don't even care about that. I know I'm into guys, but this was different.
Happy Harry Hardon - So what did you do?
Chris - Everything, everything they told me.
Deaver - I'm calling the police. Fraud! Pornography! He's just using these poor kids.
Police Dispatcher - That's the thirteenth call tonight.
Police Officer - Sounds like the kids bull shitting to me.
Detective #1 - I don't know, these things happen when you're a kid, you swallow it Denny?
Detective Denny - I think you're forgetting what it's like when you're young.
Shep's Boss - C'mon Shep. They got this kid to call in with this story they've concocted, this isn't real.
Shep Sheppard - Who cares if it's real? People are riveted.
Detective Denny - No! If people are re-broadcasting this stuff over state lines, I think it's time to call in the Feds. This is F.C.C. juristiction.
Chris - I feel bad that I didn't even do anything. Now he wont even talk to me, he wont even look at me. I'm pretty confused!
Happy Harry Hardon - Confused! You're not the one who is confused. You sound like you know exactly what's going on. If any ones confused it's those guys out there.
Chris - I know, but I think about him a lot. I sometimes wonder why one person is born one way and another person is born another way..... Are you there?
Happy Harry Hardon - Yes, yes!
Chris - So I guess you think I'm a faggot wimp hey?
Happy Harry Hardon - No! I'm just thinking how strong people can be and how everyone is alike in some way, how everyone needs the same things.
Chris - So what are we going to do about this.
Happy Harry Hardon - I don't know. That's the big question isn't it hey?
Chris - I guess nobody knows hah. Well that's tough, I got to go, se ya.
Happy Harry Hardon - I guess we all got to go now. Good night pal, good night friends.
<The Pixies "Wave Of Mutilation" plays>
<Tomorrow in the school grounds>
Nora - "Believe It Or Not I Care: 8:30 - 3:30." What's that.
Janie - Some new hot line Deaver's setting up.
Nora - Hey it's like 8:30 in the morning so it's alright to kill myself!
Janie - Oh my god it's after 3:00 so I'm totally fucked.
<Mark walks by>
Nora - Hi!
<Mark ignores her>
Janie - What are you doing........ Tramp!
Nora - Bitch!
<Creswood's office>
Creswood - How's he getting all this information? I want all the locks in the school changed. I want a list of every student with relatives on the staff.
<Murdock walks in>
Murdock - Excuse me. I just found the graffiti on the roof of the cafeteria, they're taking it down now.
Creswood - What's it say?
Murdock - "Creswood's a maggot puss wad."
<Murdock sees Donald selling Happy Harry Hardon tapes by the lockers and takes him to Creswood>
Donald - Nobody knows who he is.
Creswood - We don't believe you Donald.
Donald - I swear to you, nobody's got an idea.
Murdock - Well you've got to the end of the day to get an idea. Don't forget, your file is under review.
Creswood - You better bring all you enrolment files here to my office.
<Back outside the lockers>
Doug - So what did they do to you?
<Donald shakes his head in disgust>
Joey - Hey! You Donald?
Donald - Yeah
Joey - Hi! I'm Joey can you get me into the P.A.
<The school alcove>
Creswood - That's the end of the music in The Alcove and from now on any found defacing of school property will be expelled.
<Donald and Joey put a mix tape of Deaver squirming in conversation with Happy Harry Hardon>
Creswood - What's happening? What's going on?
Murdock - It's Mr Deaver!
Mr Moore - It wont stop, they're in the speaker system.
Creswood - Shut it off, shut off the whole system.
Mr Moore - We can't!
Creswood - Shut down the whole school!
<Shep Sheppard roles up outside Hubert Humphrey where Mazz lingers>
Mazz - Hey you! Check it out, you're the TV guy right? Hey you want to interview me, hey because I listened the first night he was on, I'm like a mate of his. I used to go here, but they chucked me out for no reason you know. <Mazz throws coloured smoke bomb's on the ground> Hey check it out, school colours you know, instant prep rally. Jesus the smog's getting worse and worse in this town. <Murdock grabs Mazz and takes him to Creswood's office.>
Shep Sheppard - This is Shep Sheppard reporting live from deep in the smoke at Humphrey High.
<Creswood's office>
Murdock - Sit down.
Mazz - So anybody mind if I smoke?
Creswood - You do understand that you're expelled Mr Mazzilli?
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