ANNIE HALL

Exactly, but ... exactly. Ooooh!

ALVY

You know, I-I-I don't think many couples

could handle this. You know, they could

just break up and remain friends.

ANNIE

(Taking a button from a box)

Hey, this one's mine, this button.

This one, you rem-

ALVY

(Interrupting)

Yeah.

ANNIE

I guess these are all yours. Impeach, uh,

Eisenhower ... Impeach Nixon ... Impeach

Lyndon Johnson ... Impeach Ronald Reagan.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET-DAY

People milling about on the sidewalk as Alvy walks out of a store and moves

toward the foreground.

ALVY

(Into the camera, to the audience)

I miss Annie. I made a terrible

mistake.

A couple, walking down the street, stops as the man talks to Alvy.

MAN ON THE STREET

She's living in Los Angeles with

Tony Lacey.

ALVY

Oh, yeah? Well, if she is, then the

hell with her! If she likes that

lifestyle, let her live there! He's

a jerk, for one thing.

MAN ON THE STREET

He graduated Harvard.

ALVY

Yeah. He may- Listen, Harvard makes

mistakes too, you know. Kissinger

taught there.

The couple strolls away as an older woman walks up to Alvy while others walk by.

OLD WOMAN

Don't tell me you're jealous?

ALVY

Yeah, jealous. A little bit like Medea.

Lemme, lemme-can I show you something,

lady?

(He takes a small item from his

pocket to show the woman)

What I have here ... I found this in the

apartment. Black soap. She used to wash

her face eight hundred times a day with

black soap. Don't ask me why.

OLD WOMAN

Well, why don't you go out with other

women?

ALVY

Well, I-I tried, but it's, uh, you know,

it's very depressing.

RECENT FLASHBACK - INT. ALVY'S COUNTRY KITCHEN

Alvy's arms and legs fill the screen as he slowly gets up from the floor

bolding up a live lobster. He puts it on a grill tray.

ALVY

(Pointing to the lobster)

This always happens to me. Quick, g-go

get a broom.

His date, a girl wearing short shorts, leans against the sink and lights a

cigarette. She makes no move to help.

GIRL DATE

(Smoking)

What are you making such a big deal about?

(As she talks, the lobster drops

from the tray to the floor. Alvy

jumps away, then gingerly scrapes

the tray toward the lobster)

They're only lobsters. Look, you're a

grown man, you know how to pick up a

lobster.

ALVY

(Looking up in stooped-over

position)

I'm not myself since I stopped smoking.

GIRL DATE

(Still leaning against the sink,

her hand on her hip)

Oh, when'd you quit smoking?

He gets up of the floor with the lobster on the tray.

ALVY

Sixteen years ago.

GIRL DATE

(Puzzled)

Whatta you mean?

ALVY

(Mocking)

Mean?

GIRL DATE

You stopped smoking sixteen years ago,

is that what you said? Oh, I-I don't

understand. Are you joking, or what?

CUT TO:

A solitary Alvy walking along the FDR Drive where he had walked with Annie. -

The New York skyline is still in the background, the sea gulls go by, the fog

horn blows. He walks slowly, moving off screen.

INT. ALVY'S BEDROOM - DAY

Alvy sits on his bed talking on the phone.

ALVY

Listen, honey, Central Park's turning

green ... Yeah, I sa-I saw that lunatic

that we-where we used to see ... with

the, uh, uh, pinwheel hat and, you know,

and the roller skates? . . . Listen,

I-I want you to come back here ... Well,

I-I-then I'm gonna come out there and

getcha.

CUT TO:

An airborne plane.

CUT TO:

EXT. LOS ANGELES AIRPORT.

People milling about as Alvy, in the outside phone-booth center, talks.

ALVY

Whatta you mean, where am I? Where do-

where do you think I am? I'm-I'm out

... I'm at the Los Angeles Airport.

I flew in ...

(Sniffling)

Tsch, I-well, I flew in to see you ...

(Muttering)

Hey, listen, can we not debate this

on-on the telephone because I'm, you

know, I-I feel that I got a temperature

and I'm-I'm getting my-my chronic Los

Angeles nausea. I-I don't feel so good.

Alvy's conversation is still heard as the screen shows him behind the wheel of

a car on a busy street; he causes a near-accident by jerking the car too slowly

toward an intersection.

ALVY'S VOICE-OVER

Well, where-wherever you wanna meet, I

don't care. I'll-I'll drive in. I

rented a car I'm driving ... that ...

Whatta you mean? What-why is that such

a miracle? I'm driving myself --

EXT. OUTDOOR CAF?- DAY

People sit at umbrellaed tables with checkered tablecloths at a Sunset

Boulevard outdoor cafe. Street traffic goes by while they dine. There's a

mild California breeze. The restaurant is somewhat crowded as Alvy makes his

way around the tables looking about. He finally sits down at an empty table;

nearby sits a woman with a younger man. A waitress brings Alvy a menu and

waits for his order.

ALVY

(To the waitress)

I'm gonna...I'm gonna have the alfalfa

sprouts and, uh, a plate of mashed yeast.

Annie, wearing a flowered dress and wide hat, moves into view. Alvy,

noticing her, watches as she walks over to his table. He rises and they shake

hands.

ANNIE

Hi.

Alvy wipes at his nose as he stares. He smiles, the street traffic moving

behind him. Annie smiles back.

ALVY

You look very pretty.

ANNIE

Oh, no, I just lost a little weight,

that's all.

(Alvy adjusts his glasses, not

exactly knowing where to start;

a bit uneasy)

Well, you look nice.

ALVY

(Nodding his head)

You see, I-I've been thinking about it

and I think that we should get married.

ANNIE

(Adjusting her sunglasses)

Oh, Alvy, come on.

ALVY

Why? You wanna live out here all year?

It's like living in Munchkin Land.

ANNIE

(Looking around)

Well, whatta you mean? I mean, it's

perfectly fine out here. I mean, Tony's

very nice and, uh, well, I meet people

and I go to parties and-and we play tennis.

I mean, that's ... that's a very big step

for me, you know? I mean ...

(Reacting, Alvy looks down at

his hands, then up)

I'm able to enjoy people more.

ALVY

(Sadly)

So whatta you ... You're not gonna come

back to New York?

ANNIE

(Smiling)

What's so great about New York? I mean,

it's a dying city. You read "Death in

Venice."

ALVY

Hey, you didn't read "Death in Venice"

till I bought it for yuh.

ANNIE

That's right, that's right.

(Still smiling)

You only gave me books with the word

"death" in the titles.

ALVY

(Nodding his head and gesturing)

That's right, 'cause it's an important

issue.

ANNIE

Alvy, you're incapable of enjoying life,

you know that? I mean, your life is New

York City. You're just this person.

You're like this island unto yourself.

ALVY

(Toying with his car keys)

I can't enjoy anything unless I ... unless

everybody is. I-you know, if one guy is

starving someplace, that's ... you know,

I-I ... it puts a crimp in my evening.

(Looking down at his hands, sadly)

So wanna get married or what?

ANNIE

(Seriously)

No. We're friends. I wanna remain friends.

ALVY

(In disbelief)

Okay.

(Louder, to the waitress)

Check, please. Can I -can I ...

Can I ... Can I ...

ANNIE

(Interrupting)

You're mad, aren't you?

ALVY

(Shaking his head)

No.

(Then nodding)

Yes, of course I'm mad, because you

love me, I know that.

ANNIE

Alvy, I can't say that that's true at

this point in my life. I really just

can't say that that's true. I mean,

you know how wonderful you are. I

mean, you know ... you're the reason

that I got outta my room and that I

was able to sing, and-and-and, you know,

get more in touch with my feelings and

all that crap. Anyway, look, I don't

wanna- Listen, listen, listen, uh

(Laughing)

h'h, so whatta you up to anyway, huh?

ALVY

(Shrugging his shoulders)

The usual, you know. Uh, tryin't'write.

I'm workin' on a play.

(Sighing)

Jesus. So whatta yuh saying? That

you're not comin' back to New York with

me?

He nods his head in disbelief.

ANNIE

(Nodding)

No!

(Pauses)

Look, I gotta go.

She starts to rise.

ALVY

You mean that ...

(He gets up and starts following

her past diners at other tables)

I-I-I-I flew three thousand miles to

see you.

ANNIE