ANNIE HALL

(Making sounds, gasping)

This is not bad, actually.

EXT. BEVERLY HILLS STREET RESIDENTIAL AREA - DAY

Rob, Annie and Alvy in Rob's car pull into a long circular driveway as an

attendant walks over to the car. A sprawling house is seen to the right; a

couple moves toward the front door, and the driveway is crowded with other

parked cars. Loud music is heard.

ALVY

(Getting out of the car)

Hey, don't tell me we're gonna hafta

walk from the car to the house. Geez,

my feet haven't touched pavement since

I reached Los Angeles.

INT. HOUSE

A Hollywood Christmas party is in session, complete with music, milling people,

circulating waiters bolding out trays of drinks. It's all very casual. French

doors run the entire width of one wall; they are opened to the back lawn,

guests move from the room to outside and back in. It is crowded; bits of

conversation and clinking glasses can be heard. Two men, California-tanned,

stand by the French doors talking.

1ST MAN

Well, you take a meeting with him, I'll

take a meeting with you if you'll take

a meeting with Freddy.

2ND MAN

I took a meeting with Freddy. Freddy

took a meeting with Charlie. You take

a meeting with him.

1ST MAN

All the good meetings are taken.

CUT TO:

FULL GROUP SHOT

A man stands talking, people in groups behind him. Two born like gadgets are

attached to his shoulders; he's wearing a bizarre space costume.

3RD MAN

Right now it's only a notion, but I

think I can get money to make it into

a concept ... and later turn it into

an idea.

CUT TO:

Alvy and Rob stand near the French doors leading to the back lawn, eating and

drinking and watching the people walking in and out of the house.

ROB

You like this house, Max?

ALVY

M'hm.

ROB

I even brought a road map to get us to

the bathroom.

ALVY

Whee, you shoulda told me it was Tony

Lacey's party.

ROB

What difference does that make?

Alvy looks into the room, where Annie and Tony Lacey are having an animated

conversation.

ALVY

I think he has a little thing for Annie.

ROB

Oh, no, no, that's bullshit, Max. He

goes with that girl over there.

ALVY

Where?

Rob nods his head toward a tall woman dressed all in white conversing with a

group of people close-by.

ROB

The one with the V.P.L.

ALVY

V.P.L.?

ROB

Visible panty line. Max, she is gorgeous.

ALVY

Yeah, she's a ten, Max, and that's great

for you because you're -you're used to

twos, aren't you?

ROB

There are no twos, Max.

ALVY

Yeah, you're used to the kind with the-

with the shopping bags walking through

Central Park with the surgical masks

on muttering.

ROB

M'hm.

ALVY

And ... uh-

ROB

(Interrupting)

How do you like this couple, Max?

A couple moves over toward Rob and Alvy. The man's arm is around the woman;

they stand very close. In the background, Annie and Tony are still talking.

ROB

And I think they just came back from

Masters and Johnson.

ALVY

Yeah, intensive care ward.

(Watching the woman in white)

My God-hey, Max, I think she's ... I

think she's giving me the eye.

As Rob and Alvy observe the guests, the woman in white starts walking toward

them.

ROB

If she comes over here, Max, my brain

is going to turn into guacamole.

ALVY

I'll handle it. I'll handle it. Hi.

GIRL IN WHITE

You're Alvy Singer, right? Didn't

we meet at EST?

ALVY

(Reacting)

EST? No, no, I was never to est.

GIRL IN WHITE

Then how can you criticize it?

ALVY

Oh.

ROB

Oh, he-he didn't say anything.

ALVY

(Laughing)

No, no, I came out here to get some

shock therapy, but there was an energy

crisis, so I ... He's my-my food taster.

Have you two met?

ROB

(Shaking his head)

Hi. How do you do.

GIRL IN WHITE

Do you taste to see if the food's poisoned?

ALVY

Yeah, he's crazy.

The girl in white laughs.

ALVY

(Looking at Rob and the girl)

Hey, you guys are wearin' white. It must

be in the stars.

ROB

Yeah. Right.

ALVY

Uri Geller must be on the premises

someplace.

ROB

We're gonna operate together.

Rob and the girl walk of together as the camera moves in on Tony and Annie

standing by the buffet table.

TONY

We just need about six weeks, in about

six weeks we could cut a whole album.

ANNIE

I don't know, this is strange to me,

you know.

TONY

just ... that's all you need. You can

come and stay here.

ANNIE

Oh.

TONY

There's a whole wing in this house.

ANNIE

(Laughing)

Oh yeah, stay here? U-huh.

TONY

You can have it to use. Why-why are

you smiling?

ANNIE

(Laughing)

I don't know. I don't know.

She picks up an hors doeuvre.

CUT TO:

The two men still talking about meetings surrounded by other groups of people

milling about.

1ST MAN

Not only is he a great agent, but he

really gives good meetings.

2ND MAN

M'mm.

Tony, band in band with the girl in white, is leaving the party room with Alvy

and Annie to show them the rest of the house.

TONY

This is a great house, really. Everything.

Saunas, Jacuzzis, three tennis courts.

You know who the original owners were?

Nelson Eddy, then Legs Diamond. Then

you know who lived here?

ALVY

Trigger.

Annie and the girl in white laugh.

TONY

Charlie Chaplin.

ALVY

Hey.

TONY

Right before his un-American thing.

They stop in a den-like screening room. A man is slouched back on one of the

comfortable sofas that fill the room. It is much quieter in here; a contrast

to the noise and crowd downstairs.

ALVY

Yeah, this place is great.

ANNIE

Yeah.

TONY

Uh, you guys are still-uh, you're still

New Yorkers.

ALVY

Yeah, I love it there.

ANNIE

(Laughing)

Yeah.

TONY

Well, I used to live there. I used to

live there for years. You know, but

it's gotten-it's so dirty now.

ANNIE

Yeah.

ALVY

I'm into garbage. It's my thing.

ANNIE

Boy, this is really a nice screening

room. It's really a nice room.

TONY

Oh, and there's another thing about New

York. See ... you-you wanna see a movie,

you have to stand in a long line.

ANNIE

Yeah.

TONY

It could be freezing, it could be raining.

ANNIE

Yeah.

TONY

And here, you just-

GIRL IN WHITE

We saw "Grand Illusion" here last night.

ALVY AND ANNIE

(In unison)

Oh, yeah?

MAN ON THE SOFA

(Looking over his shoulder at

the group)

That's a great film if you're high.

(The group laughs, looking down

at the man on the sofa. He looks

up at them, smiling, a joint in

his hand, and offers them a cigarette)

Hey, you.

TONY

(Shaking his head no)

Come and see our bedroom. We did a

fantastic lighting job. Okay?

ANNIE

Oh, good. Okay.

ALVY

I'm cool.

Tony and the girl in white leave the room, Annie and Alvy following.

ANNIE

(Taking Alvy's arm)

It's wonderful. I mean, you know they

just watch movies all day.

ALVY

Yeah, and gradually you get old and die.

You know it's important to make a little

effort once in a while.

ANNIE

Don't you think his girl friend's

beautiful?

ALVY

Yeah, she's got a great-lookin' fa- A

pat on the androgynous side. But it's...

They pass a man talking on the phone in the hallway.

MAN ON THE PHONE

Yeah, yeah. I forgot my mantra.

As they come down stairs the party is still in big gear. People are looser

now; conversations are more animated, some talk quietly in more intimate

corners, some couples are dancing. Alvy stands alone sipping a drink near the

huge Christmas tree. A tall woman, passing by, shakes his hand, then leaves.

He continues to sip his drink, alone, watching Tony and Annie in the center of

the room dancing.

The screen shows a plane in flight, Los Angeles far below, then:

CUT TO:

AIRPLANE. INT. AIRPLANE

Annie and Alvy sit, the stewardess behind them serving other passengers. Annie

stares out the window bolding a coffee cup; Alvy reads. Both are preoccupied,

thinking their own thoughts.

ANNIE'S VOICE-OVER

(To herself)

That was fun. I don't think California

is bad at all. It's a drag coming home.

ALVY'S VOICE-OVER

(To himself)

Lotta beautiful women. It was fun

to flirt.

ANNIE'S VOICE-OVER

(As she sips coffee)

I have to face facts. I-I adore Alvy,

but our relationship doesn't seem to

work anymore.

ALVY'S VOICE-OVER

(An open magazine lies in

his lap)

I'll have the usual trouble with Annie

in bed tonight. Whatta I need this?

ANNIE'S VOICE-OVER

If only I had the nerve to break up,

but it would really hurt him.

ALVY'S VOICE-OVER

If only I didn't feel guilty asking

Annie to move out. It'd probably

wreck her. But I should be honest.

He looks over at Annie.

ANNIE

(Looking back at Alvy)

Alvy, uh, let's face it. You know

something, don't think our relationship

is working.

ALVY

Tsch, I know. A relationship, I think,

is-is like a shark, you know? It has

to constantly move forward or it dies.

(He sighs)

And I think what we got on our hands

(Clearing his throat)

is a dead shark.

INT. ALVY'S LIVING ROOM-DAY