ANNIE HALL

A lighted Christmas tree stands in the middle of boxes, books, and the general

disarray of packing and figuring out what belongs to whom as Alvy helps Annie

move out.

ALVY

(Holding up a book)

Whose "Catcher in the Rye" is this?

ANNIE

(Walking into the room with an

armload of books)

Well, let's see now ... If it has my

name on it, then I guess it's mine.

ALVY

(Reacting)

Oh, it sure has ... You know, you wrote

your name in all my books, 'cause you

knew this day was gonna come.

ANNIE

(Putting down the books and

flipping back her hair)

Well, uh, Alvy, you wanted to break up

just as much as I do.

ALVY

(Riffling through the books)

There's no-no question in my mind. I

think we're doing the mature thing,

without any doubt.

ANNIE

(Holding a framed picture and

moving about)

Now, look, all the books on death and

dying are yours and all the poetry books

are mine.

ALVY

(Looking down at a book)

This "Denial of Death". You remember this?

ANNIE

Oh-

ALVY

This is the first book that I got you.

Annie goes over to Alvy. They both look down at the book; the fireplace,

burning nicely, is behind them.

ANNIE

-God.

ALVY

Remember that day?

ANNIE

Right. Geez, I feel like there's a

great weight off my back. M'mmm.

ALVY

Thanks, honey.

ANNIE

(Patting Alvy's shoulder)

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, you

know, no, no, no, I mean, I think it's

really important for us to explore new

relationships and stuff like that.

She walks away.

ALVY

There's no-there's no question about

that, 'cause we've given this ... uh,

uh, I think a more than fair shot,

you know?

He tosses the book into the carton.

ANNIE

(Off screen)

Yeah, my analyst thinks this move is

keen for me.

ALVY

(Off screen)

Yeah, and I-I tru- you know, I trust

her, because my-my analyst recommended

her.

ANNIE

(Walking in with another

armload of books)

Well, why should I put you through all

my moods and hang-ups anyway?

ALVY

Right. And you-and you know what the

beauty part is?

ANNIE

What?

ALVY

(Holding a small box of buttons)

We can always come back together again.

Because there's no-there's no problem.

'Cause ... Right.

ANNIE

(Overlapping)

Exactly, but ... exactly. Ooooh!

ALVY

You know, I-I-I don't think many couples

could handle this. You know, they could

just break up and remain friends.

ANNIE

(Taking a button from a box)

Hey, this one's mine, this button.

This one, you rem-

ALVY

(Interrupting)

Yeah.

ANNIE

I guess these are all yours. Impeach, uh,

Eisenhower ... Impeach Nixon ... Impeach

Lyndon Johnson ... Impeach Ronald Reagan.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET-DAY

People milling about on the sidewalk as Alvy walks out of a store and moves

toward the foreground.

ALVY

(Into the camera, to the audience)

I miss Annie. I made a terrible

mistake.

A couple, walking down the street, stops as the man talks to Alvy.

MAN ON THE STREET

She's living in Los Angeles with

Tony Lacey.

ALVY

Oh, yeah? Well, if she is, then the

hell with her! If she likes that

lifestyle, let her live there! He's

a jerk, for one thing.

MAN ON THE STREET

He graduated Harvard.

ALVY

Yeah. He may- Listen, Harvard makes

mistakes too, you know. Kissinger

taught there.

The couple strolls away as an older woman walks up to Alvy while others walk by.

OLD WOMAN

Don't tell me you're jealous?

ALVY

Yeah, jealous. A little bit like Medea.

Lemme, lemme-can I show you something,

lady?

(He takes a small item from his

pocket to show the woman)

What I have here ... I found this in the

apartment. Black soap. She used to wash

her face eight hundred times a day with

black soap. Don't ask me why.

OLD WOMAN

Well, why don't you go out with other

women?

ALVY

Well, I-I tried, but it's, uh, you know,

it's very depressing.

RECENT FLASHBACK - INT. ALVY'S COUNTRY KITCHEN

Alvy's arms and legs fill the screen as he slowly gets up from the floor

bolding up a live lobster. He puts it on a grill tray.

ALVY

(Pointing to the lobster)

This always happens to me. Quick, g-go

get a broom.

His date, a girl wearing short shorts, leans against the sink and lights a

cigarette. She makes no move to help.

GIRL DATE

(Smoking)

What are you making such a big deal about?

(As she talks, the lobster drops

from the tray to the floor. Alvy

jumps away, then gingerly scrapes

the tray toward the lobster)

They're only lobsters. Look, you're a

grown man, you know how to pick up a

lobster.

ALVY

(Looking up in stooped-over

position)

I'm not myself since I stopped smoking.

GIRL DATE

(Still leaning against the sink,

her hand on her hip)

Oh, when'd you quit smoking?

He gets up of the floor with the lobster on the tray.

ALVY

Sixteen years ago.

GIRL DATE

(Puzzled)

Whatta you mean?

ALVY

(Mocking)

Mean?

GIRL DATE

You stopped smoking sixteen years ago,

is that what you said? Oh, I-I don't

understand. Are you joking, or what?

CUT TO:

A solitary Alvy walking along the FDR Drive where he had walked with Annie. -

The New York skyline is still in the background, the sea gulls go by, the fog

horn blows. He walks slowly, moving off screen.

INT. ALVY'S BEDROOM - DAY

Alvy sits on his bed talking on the phone.

ALVY

Listen, honey, Central Park's turning

green ... Yeah, I sa-I saw that lunatic

that we-where we used to see ... with

the, uh, uh, pinwheel hat and, you know,

and the roller skates? . . . Listen,

I-I want you to come back here ... Well,

I-I-then I'm gonna come out there and

getcha.

CUT TO:

An airborne plane.

CUT TO:

EXT. LOS ANGELES AIRPORT.

People milling about as Alvy, in the outside phone-booth center, talks.

ALVY

Whatta you mean, where am I? Where do-

where do you think I am? I'm-I'm out

... I'm at the Los Angeles Airport.

I flew in ...

(Sniffling)

Tsch, I-well, I flew in to see you ...

(Muttering)

Hey, listen, can we not debate this

on-on the telephone because I'm, you

know, I-I feel that I got a temperature

and I'm-I'm getting my-my chronic Los

Angeles nausea. I-I don't feel so good.

Alvy's conversation is still heard as the screen shows him behind the wheel of

a car on a busy street; he causes a near-accident by jerking the car too slowly

toward an intersection.

ALVY'S VOICE-OVER

Well, where-wherever you wanna meet, I

don't care. I'll-I'll drive in. I

rented a car I'm driving ... that ...

Whatta you mean? What-why is that such

a miracle? I'm driving myself --

EXT. OUTDOOR CAF?- DAY

People sit at umbrellaed tables with checkered tablecloths at a Sunset

Boulevard outdoor cafe. Street traffic goes by while they dine. There's a

mild California breeze. The restaurant is somewhat crowded as Alvy makes his

way around the tables looking about. He finally sits down at an empty table;

nearby sits a woman with a younger man. A waitress brings Alvy a menu and

waits for his order.

ALVY

(To the waitress)

I'm gonna...I'm gonna have the alfalfa

sprouts and, uh, a plate of mashed yeast.

Annie, wearing a flowered dress and wide hat, moves into view. Alvy,

noticing her, watches as she walks over to his table. He rises and they shake

hands.

ANNIE

Hi.

Alvy wipes at his nose as he stares. He smiles, the street traffic moving

behind him. Annie smiles back.

ALVY

You look very pretty.

ANNIE

Oh, no, I just lost a little weight,

that's all.

(Alvy adjusts his glasses, not

exactly knowing where to start;