ANNIE HALL

ALVY

Don't get upset!

ROBIN

Dammit! I was so close.

She flips on the overhead lamp and turns on her side. Alvy turns to her.

ALVY

(Gesturing)

Jesus, last night it was some guy honking

his car horn. I mean, the city can't

close down. You know, what-whatta yuh

gonna do, h-have 'em shut down the

airport, too? No more flights so we can

have sex?

ROBIN

(Reaching over for her eyeglasses

on the night table)

I'm too tense. I need a Valium. My

analyst says I should live in the country

and not in New York.

ALVY

Well, I can't li- We can't have this

discussion all the time. The country

makes me nervous. There's ... You got

crickets and it-it's quiet ... there's

no place to walk after dinner, and... uh,

there's the screens with the dead moths

behind them, and... uh, yuh got the-the

Manson family possibly, yuh got Dick and

Terry-

ROBIN

(Interrupting)

Okay, okay, my analyst just thinks I'm

too tense. Where's the goddamn Valium?

She fumbles about the floor for the Valium, then back on the bed.

ALVY

Hey, come on, it's quiet now. We can-we

can start again.

ROBIN

I can't.

ALVY

What-

ROBIN

My head is throbbing.

ALVY

Oh, you got a headache!

ROBIN

I have a headache.

ALVY

Bad?

ROBIN

Oswald and ghosts.

ALVY

Jesus!

He begins to get out of bed.

ROBIN

Where are you going?

ALVY

Well, I'm-I'm gonna take another in a

series of cold showers.

EXT. MEN'S LOCKER ROOM OF THE TENNIS CLUB.

Rob and Alvy, carrying tennis rackets, come through the door of the locker

room to the lobby. They are dressed in tennis whites. They walk toward the

indoor court.

ROB

Max, my serve is gonna send yuh to

the showers-

ALVY

Right, right, so g-get back to what we

were discussing, the failure of the

country to get behind New York City is-is

anti-Semitism.

ROB

Max, the city is terribly worried.

ALVY

But the- I'm not discussing politics or

economics. This is foreskin.

ROB

No, no, no, Max, that's a very convenient

out. Every time some group disagrees with

you it's because of anti-Semitism.

ALVY

Don't you see? The rest of the country looks

upon New York like we're-we're left-wing

Communist, Jewish, homosexual, pornographers.

I think of us that way, sometimes, and I-I

live here.

ROB

Max, if we lived in California, we could

play outdoors every day, in the sun.

ALVY

Sun is bad for yuh. Everything our parents

said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat,

college ...

INT. TENNIS COURT

Annie and Janet, in tennis whites, stand on the court holding tennis rackets

and balls. They are chattering and giggling.

ANNIE

(Laughing)

I know, but ooh- here he comes. Okay.

Rob and Alvy enter the court and walk over to the two women. Rob kisses Janet

and makes introduction.

ROB

You know Alvy?

JANET

Oh, hi, Alvy.

ANNIE

(To Rob)

How are yuh?

ROB

(To Alvy)

You know Annie?

JANET

I'm sorry. This is Annie Hall.

ALVY

Hi.

ANNIE

Hi.

Annie and Alvy shake hands.

JANET

(Laughing)

Alvy.

ROB

(Eager to begin)

Who's playing who here? Alvy Well, uh ...

you and me against them?

ANNIE

(Overlapping Alvy)

Well ... so ... I can't play too good,

you know.

JANET

(Laughing)

I've had four lessons!

The group, laughing and chatting, divide up-Rob and Annie moving to the other

side of the net, Alvy and Janet standing where they are. They start to play

mixed doubles, each taking turns and playing well. At one point in the game,

Annie starts to talk to Rob, then turns and sees a ball heading toward her.

ALVY

(Hitting the halt back)

Holy gods!

INT. LOBBY

Alvy, dressed, puts things into a gym bag. One knee is on the bench and his

back is turned from the entrance. Annie walks toward the entrance door dressed

in street clothes and carrying her tennis bag over her shoulder. Seeing Alvy,

she stops and turns.

ANNIE

Hi. Hi, hi.

ALVY

(Looking over his shoulder)

Hi. Oh, hi. Hi.

ANNIE

(Hands clasped in front of her,

smiling)

Well, bye. She laughs and backs up slowly

toward the door.

ALVY

(Clearing his throat)

You-you play ... very well.

ANNIE

Oh, yeah? So do you. Oh, God, whatta-

(Making sounds and laughing)

whatta dumb thing to say, right? I mean,

you say it, "You play well," and right

away ... I have to say well. Oh, oh ...

God, Annie.

(She gestures with her hand)

Well ... oh, well ... la-de-da, la-de-da,

la-la.

She turns around and moves toward the door.

ALVY

(Still looking over his shoulder)

Uh ... you-you wanna lift?

ANNIE

(Turning and aiming her thumb over

her shoulder)

Oh, why-uh ... y-y-you gotta car?

ALVY

No, um ... I was gonna take a cab.

ANNIE

(Laughing)

Oh, no, I have a car.

ALVY

You have a car?

(Annie smiles, hands folded in

front of her)

So ...

(Clears his throat)

I don't understand why ... if you have a

car, so then-then wh-why did you say "Do

you have a car?"... like you wanted a lift?

ANNIE

I don't ...

(Laughing)

I don't ... Geez, I don't know, I've ...

I wa- This ... yeah, I got this VW out

there ...

(Laughing and gesturing toward

the door)

What a jerk, yeah. Would you like a lift?

ALVY

(Zipping up his bag)

Sure. W-w-w-which way yuh goin'?

ANNIE

Me? Oh, downtown!

ALVY

Down- I'm-I'm goin' uptown.

ANNIE

(Laughing)

Oh, well, I'm goin' uptown, too.

ALVY

Uh, well, you just said you were going

downtown.

ANNIE

Yeah, well, I'm, but I ...

Alvy picks up his bag and moves toward the door. As he turns his bag around,

the handle of the tennis racket bits Annie between the legs.

ALVY

(Laughing)

So sorry.

ANNIE

(Laughing)

I mean, I can go uptown, too. I live

uptown, but ... uh, what the hell, I mean,

it'd be nice having company, you know

I mean, I hate driving alone.

ALVY

(Making sounds)

Yeah.

They walk out the door.

EXT. NEW YORK STREET- DAY

Alvy and Annie in the VW as Annie speeds down a city street near the East River.

ALVY

So, how long do you know Janet? Where

do you know her from?

ANNIE

(Laughing)

Oh, I'm in her acting class.

ALVY

Oh - you're an actress.

ANNIE

Well, I do commercials, sort of ...

She zooms down the wrong lane, cars swerving out of her way. A horn blows.

ALVY

I, uh ... well, you're not from New

York, right?

ANNIE

No, Chippewa Falls.

ALVY

Right!

(A pause)

Where?

ANNIE

Wisconsin.

ALVY

(Finally reacting)

Uh, you're driving a-

ANNIE

Uh, don't worry, I'm a very-

(A car moves closer to the VW,

almost on top of it in the wrong

direction. Annie swerves away at

the very last minute)

-a very good driver.

(Alvy rubs his head nervously,

staring out the window as Annie

speeds along)

So, listen-hey, you want some gum, anyway?

Annie looks down beside her, searching for the gum.

ALVY

No, no thanks. Hey, don't-

ANNIE

Well, where is it? I-

ALVY

No, no, no, no, you just ... just watch

the road. I'll get it-

ANNIE

Okay.