AntZ

                         QUEEN
               Yes, General Formica.  Carry on, my
               good man!  I don't know what we would
               do without you.

     Formica clicks his heels and bows his head.  Carpenter bows
     low.  Formica smartly about faces --

                         BALA (O.S.)
               General Formica!

     PRINCESS BALA hurries through a second doorway, carrying a
     swatch book.  Something about her sets her apart from the
     HANDMAIDEN ANTS with her.  Her tiara, probably.

     Formica tilts his head quizzically to Carpenter behind him.

                         CARPENTER
                      (sotto)
               Princess Bala, sir.  Your fiancee.

                         FORMICA
               Princess!  You look -- outstanding.
               Is there anything I can do for you?

                         BALA
               Well -- I thought -- since we're
               getting married...it might be nice if
               we...got to know one another.

     Formica looks confused.

                         QUEEN
               Bala has always been a hopeless
               romantic, General.

                         BALA
               It's just that -- well, I'm honored
               that you selected me, and everything,
               I just thought the marriage might go
               a little more smoothly if -- we had
               a conversation?

                         FORMICA
                      (uncomfortable)
               Conversation...yes...well...
                      (to Carpenter)
               Wasn't she briefed?

                         QUEEN
                      (holding up a baby)
               Look, General!  A darling baby
               soldier!
                      (emotionally, to baby)
               Don't try to be a hero!  Just make
               sure you come back in one piece!
                      (handing it off)
               Next!

                         FORMICA
                      (using the
                       interruption)
               I'll take your suggestion under
               advisement, Princess.  In the
               meanwhile --

     Formica turns to go.

                         BALA
               General -- we have to talk sometime!

                         FORMICA
               Very well.  Carpenter, is there a
               convenient time to talk vis-a-vis:
               relationship?

                         CARPENTER
               Actually, sir, we're ahead of
               schedule.  We have thirty-six seconds
               available right now.

                         FORMICA
               Outstanding.  Princess...?

     Bala's a little fazed...but grabs her chance.

                         BALA
               So, um...how was your day?  What did
               you do?

                         FORMICA
                      (scouring his mind)
               Well...
                      (that's it!)
               I declared war!

                         BALA
                      (sadly)
               Oh...and I was afraid we had nothing
               in common...

                         CARPENTER
                      (under his breath)
               Fourteen-fifty hours, sir.

                         FORMICA
               Duty calls!

     He strides across the floor.  Bala watches him go, her
     antennae drooping unhappily.

                         FORMICA
               No squeak.  Outstanding!

     We see through the now-open doors into the throne-room as
     Formica and Carpenter double-time out of the frame.

     The Queen sees that Bala is unhappy.

                         QUEEN
                      (sympathetically)
               I felt the same way before I got
               married.  Confused.  Scared.

                         BALA
                      (hopefully)
               You did?

                         QUEEN
               Yes -- but I did my duty and sorted
               out all those messy feelings.  The
               wonderful thing about ant life is
               that everything is arranged.  Even
               marriage.  You're lucky -- General
               Formica is a paragon of anthood.

                         BALA
                      (unconvinced)
               Yes...he's wonderful...

     The doors swing shut on them -- revealing the two guard ants
     who were CRUSHED in the wake of Formica's exit.

     INT. BALA'S QUARTERS - DAY

     Bala enters, followed by her handmaidens, who are in a state
     of giggling infatuation over Formica.  Bala is scowling as
     she leafs through a wedding catalogue.

                         HANDMAIDEN #1
                      (swooning over
                       General Formica)
               The General's body segments are
               so...symmetrical.

                         HANDMAIDEN #2
                      (giggling)
               I'd let him order me into battle
               anyday.

     Bala hurls the swatch book against the wall.

                         HANDMAIDEN #1
               Princess?  What's wrong?

                         BALA
               Wrong?  How could anything be wrong?
               I'm going to marry General Formica
               and be a queen and have millions of
               babies, just like my mom.
                      (concerned)
               Do I look fat to you?

                         HANDMAIDEN #2
                      (knowingly, to
                       Handmaiden #2)
               Pre-wedding jitters.

                         HANDMAIDEN #1
               You just need to blow off some steam.
               Let's go to the bar at the Royal Club!

                         BALA
               The Club's so stuffy.  I want to try
               someplace different.

                         HANDMAIDEN #2
               There isn't anyplace else --
                      (making a joke)
               Except the worker bar.

                         BALA
               The worker bar!  Yes!  That's where
               I want to go!

     The handmaidens look shocked.

                         HANDMAIDEN #1
               But -- we can't -- there'll be
               workers there.

     INT. ANT BAR - NIGHT

     A long bar filled with ants.  The bar itself seems to stretch
     for miles, and there are hundreds of ants trying to get a
     drink...unfortunately, there's only one bartender.  Z is at
     the bar with WEAVER, a burly ant soldier.

                         Z
               We declared war again?
                      (off Weaver's nod)
               Are you scared?

                         WEAVER
                      (shrugs)
               I'll be back.

     The BARTENDER, a grizzled veteran, slaps down what looks like
     a couple of large green beer mugs.  Actually, they're aphids,
     little green critters he fills up from a number of kegs
     hanging from the ceiling.  The kegs are specialized ants with
     hugely distended stomachs, which spray liquid into the aphids.

                         APHIDS
                      (as they're slapped
                       on bar)
               Ouch!  Ouch!

                         BARTENDER
               Two aphid beers.

                         Z
                      (as Bartender leaves)
               Did you see that?  How he gave you
               the beers, not me?  I'm telling you,
               he's got something against workers.

                         WEAVER
               I don't know what you're talking
               about, Z.

                         Z
               Come on -- everybody dumps on us
               workers.  You soldiers get all the
               glory.  Plus you get to go out into
               the world, meet interesting insects,
               and kill them.

                         WEAVER
               Yeah, but you get to spend all day
               with those fabulous worker babes.

     We can see that Weaver is eyeing a nearby table of "Worker
     Babes", including Z's friend Azteca.

                         Z
               Weaver, they're career girls.
               They're obsessed with digging.
                      (sighs)
               No, I'll probably never meet the girl
               for me.

                         WEAVER
               Who said there was a girl for you?
               I was talking about a girl for me.
                      (quaffing his aphid
                       beer)
               Don't you want your aphid beer?

                         Z
               I can't help it.  I have a thing
               about drinking from the anus of
               another creature.  Call me crazy.

                         WEAVER
               Z, we've known each other a long
               time, right?

                         Z
               Of course.  You were born two seconds
               after me.

                         WEAVER
               And all the time I've known you,
               you've been grumping and groaning.
               You should quit making waves.  Go
               with the flow.

                         Z
               Weaver, I'm an insect, not a liquid.

     Down the bar, there's a commotion.  A grizzled old SCOUT ant
     has had too much to drink.

                         DRUNK SCOUT
               Have you been to Insectopia?  Have
               you?  No, ya goddam larvas!  But I
               have...
                      (becoming emotional)
               ...Mosquitos n' caterpillars n'
               beetles -- all livin' in peace,
               stuffin their guts with food...No
               rules, no regulations...you can be
               your own ant there...
                      (howling drunkenly)
               It's Insectopia!  Insectopia!

                         Z
               Hey, Weaver, listen!

                         DRUNK SCOUT
               I was cut off from my unit -- found
               it by mistake --
                      (slurring)
               It changed my life!
                      (spraying another
                       soldier with saliva)
               You see -- ya follow the great yellow
               egg, and you come to the land of red
               and white --