AntZ

     More laughter.

                         BALA
               You're the hero of the recent termite
               campaign, aren't you?

                         Z
               Well, if single-handedly vanquishing
               the enemy and slaughtering a whole
               nestful of termites makes someone a
               hero, yes I am.

     Z reaches for a tray of canapes that a waiter is carrying by,
     and KNOCKS the whole thing CLATTERING to the ground.

                         Z
                      (feigning nonchalance)
               And you are...?

                         BALA
               I'm Princess Bala.

                         Z
               Ah, yes.
                      (affected)
               Well, charmed, I'm sure.  So,
               Princess, have you ever danced with
               a hero?

                         BALA
               Yes.

                         Z
                      (deflated)
               Oh...oh well then, one more won't
               matter.

     She moves towards the dance floor.  Z spit-combs his
     antennae, struts after her -- until he trips on his sword.
     He tumbles, falls, but hops to his feet just as Bala turns
     toward him, turning it into a ballet plies.

                         Z
               Just warming up...

     She frowns...there's something familiar about this guy.  But
     then they start dancing.

     ACROSS THE ROOM: The Queen and General Formica watch the
     party.

                         QUEEN
               All these parties are so marvellously
               alike.

                         FORMICA
               They should be...
                      (suspicious)
               But there's something funny about
               that soldier.

     Formica strides over to where Z and Bala are dancing.

                         FORMICA
                      (glowering)
               May I cut in?

                         Z
                      (intimidated)
               Oh, of course --

                         BALA
                      (pulling Z back)
               No, General.  I'm dancing with the
               war hero.

                         Z
                      (trying to placate
                       Formica)
               Uh, sorry, General, I...I've always
               had this animal magnetism, it --

     Bala YANKS Z back onto the dance floor, dancing away from
     Formica.

                         BALA
               You dance...

                         Z
               Divinely?

                         BALA
               No weirdly...You remind me of
               someone...

     Formica catches Bala's eye.  She frowns at him, and decides
     to get a little shocking.

                         BALA
               He was swarthy...primitive...
               earthy...sensual.

     As she says these things, Z tries to act accordingly.

                         BALA
               He was a worker.  I danced with him
               at a worker's bar just the other day.
               I'm not shocking you, am I?

                         Z
                      (proudly)
               No...as a matter of fact...

                         BALA
                      (shocked)
               OH MY GOD, IT'S YOU!  YOU'RE A
               WORKER!!!  A filthy, stupid,
               disgusting WORKER!

     Everybody gasps.  The dancing stops cold.

                         Z
               Gee, uh, could you say it a little
               louder, I think there are some ants
               in the next colony who didn't hear
               you.

                         BALA
               I CAN'T DANCE WITH A WORKER!

                         Z
                      (offended)
               That's not what you said the other
               night --

                         BALA
                      (now she's panicked)
               Quiet -- sshhh!!

                         Z
                      (digging it in)
               -- At the worker bar!  You were
               pretty hot to trot then!

                         BALA
               SSHH!!!  SSHH!!!

     A livid Formica is stalking over towards them.

                         FORMICA
                      (furious)
               What's this?  A worker has been
               masquerading as a war hero?!

                         Z
               Well it wasn't a masquerade, really,
               it was more what I'd call a clever
               ruse --

                         FORMICA
               ARREST HIM!

                         Z
               Can't we all settle this like
               adults -- we're not larvae anymore --

     Angry officers begin to surround Z, who hides behind Bala in
     fear, using her as a shield.

                         QUEEN
               Oh my god!  He's taking her hostage!

                         Z
               No I'm not -- I mean -- nobody move!
               Or the Princess gets it!

     People shout and scream, as Z backs up with the
     Princess...into the kitchen.

     INT. KITCHEN - DAY

     Z backs up into the kitchen, still pulling Bala along with
     him.  Here, ant chefs are preparing food for the party,
     vomiting little florets onto a platter.  Formica and the
     soldiers follow them in.

                         Z
                      (to Formica)
               Stay back, you lunatic!  Do you think
               I don't know how to use this?

     Z realizes that he's pointing his finger at them.

                         Z
               Uh-oh.

     The officers rush for...and Z, with Bala in tow, falls
     backwards into an opening marked, "GARBAGE".

     EXT. ANT MOUND - DAY

     HOLD ON: the GARBAGE CHUTE EXIT.  Nothing happens for a
     moment.  Then --

     From a distance, we hear the faint sound of SCREAMING,
     dopplering closer --

     -- and then Z and Bala come flying out of the exit, right
     into the mud, cutting off the scream abruptly.

     Bala sits up, coated in mud.  Z is nowhere to be seen.
     Because she's on top of him.

                         PRINCESS
               This is thoroughly unacceptable!

                         Z
               You're telling me...

     She gets up and runs back towards the colony entrance, where
     soldiers are already issuing to get her...

                         BALA
               I'm coming!  I'm coming!

     But...just as Bala'a about to be rescued...what looks like a
     gigantic LASER BEAM sweeps along the rim of the colony,
     sizzling the ground as it moves along...and IGNITES the lead
     soldier into FLAMES!  Bala looks stunned.

     Z watches in horror as another soldier ant is FRIED, and we
     look up to see a GIGANTIC MAGNIFYING GLASS casting the
     beam...we can just about make out the huge, grotesque figure
     (a seven year old kid) holding it.

     Bala, who has no idea what's really going on, turns from the
     colony and runs the other way.

                         BALA
               I'm going!  I'm going'

     ...unfortunately, this draws the fire of the laser, which
     follows after her in what looks like a strafing run, SIZZLING
     in her footsteps.

     Z, who's running towards the princess, suddenly realizes that
     he's running towards certain doom...and joins Bala in legging
     it away from the colony; under a brown leaf, which bursts
     into flames...between the redwood-like stalks of some
     flowers...and finally into the relative safety of some
     grass...where they throw themselves on the ground, exhausted.

                                              CUT TO:

     EXT. WEED CLUMP - DAY

     Z and Bala dust themselves off.

                         BALA
               What was that thing?

                         Z
               How should I know?

                         BALA
               I order you to find out where we are!

                         Z
               Alright, alright, I'll try to get
               directions from one of the locals.

     Z tries to flag down some passing bees.

                         Z
               Excuse me, I --
                      (it passes him by;
                       he tries the next)
               Pardon me --
                      (same response)
               And they call them social insects.

                         BALA
               Climb up that tree and get a better
               view!

     Bala points to a thin blade of grass.  Gingerly, Z tests the
     grass and starts climbing up it...but his weight bends it, so
     that he's lowered back to the ground, face to upside-down
     face with Bala.

                         BALA
               I've been kidnapped by the village
               idiot.