Army of Darkness

Twirls the shotgun about western style: WHOOSH, WHOOSH, WHOOSH... and holsters it.

ASH

Bring me your hoo do man.

EXT. BLACKBIRDS

Fly from a barren tree.

SOMETHING MOVES IN THE DARKNESS

It prowls, skimming the surface of the ground, moving swiftly past rocks and over the crest of a hill revealing...

EXT. TEMPLE RUINS – LONG SHOT – NIGHT

A massive grouping of freestanding rectangular stones, each twenty feet tall. The remains of an ancient temple. In the center of the ruins there burns a roaring bonfire. As old Woman stirs a cauldron atop the flames. Nearby, Arthur converses with his four Lieutenants.

EXT. WITHIN THE RUINS – NIGHT

CLOSEUP – ASH opens his mouth to allow a spoonful of food to enter.

No sooner has he swallowed then a piece of fruit is offered. He waves it away with a satisfied burp and turns to drink from a goblet on wine, brought to his lips by a female hand.

ASH AND SHEILA

She across the flames from Arthur and his men. She bandages Ash's wounds.

SHEILA

Is dresses in a revealing tunic. She looks good.

SHEILA

I pray thee to forgive me. I believed thee one of Henry's men.

She touches Ash's hand. Ash turns away

ASH

First you wanta kill me, now ya wanna kiss me.

He spits out a mouthful of grape seeds.

ASH

Lady, just leave me alone.

SHEILA

I'm sorry m'lord. Please understand... T'is a cruel time for us. The Wisemen say you are the promised one. Our only hope against the darkness that has descended on this land.

ASH

They're mistaken.

She stares deeply into his eyes.

SHEILA

I think not. I feel that there is reason for your being here. It is no accident.

WISEMAN JOHN AND TWO OTHER CLOAKED WISEMEN

Approach. They sit in tall stone chairs across the fire from Ash.

ASH

Well what is it? Can you send me back or not?

WISEMAN JOHN

Only the Necronomicon has the power. A power which we both require. It contains passages that can dispel the Evil from this place and return you to your time.

ASH

The Necronomicon. Yeah, that's the thing that got me here.

WISEMAN JOHN

It is in a place far from here. It can only be retrieved by the Promised one. Other Warriors have tried. Their widows grieve still. We have waited long years for you. Out only hope is the Necronomicon. Thou must undertake to quest for it. Alone must thou travel to a distant cemetery. There thou shalt find it.

ASH

Me? Now way, no day. Only place I'm goin' is home.

A sudden gust of wind whips up the flames of the fire.

DOGS

Around the fire begin to snarl and fight.

ASH AND SHEILA

Turn to see...

THE OLD WOMAN

Now standing too close to the fire. Her robes ignites. She does not respond as flames sweep up her body. She continues to stir the caldron.

ASH

His haw drops. He slowly stands as...

THE BURNING WOMAN

Spins sharply to him. Her voice changes as she SHRIEKS;

POSSESSED WOMAN

YOU SHALL DIE!

Her eyes are bone white. She is POSSESSED by the dark spirit. Her burning body is violently jerked about in the air by invisible hands. Her blackened lips pull back in a wild animal snarl. With two voice at once;

POSSESSED WOMAN

YOU SHALL NEVER WIN THE NECRONOMICON. WE SHALL FEAST UPON YOUR SOUL, AND THEN THE SOUL OF MAN!

THE POSSESSED WOMAN

Collapses. Her face turned away from the Wisemen as it lays in the dust.

CLOSE ON POSSESSED WOMAN'S FACE – GROUND LEVEL CAMERA

Unseen by all, her bone white eyes flare open! A nasty grin forms on her face as she lies in the dust. Behind her, the Wisemen approach.

WISEMAN JOHN

Kneels and reaches for her.

ASH'S HAND

Clutches Wiseman John, not allowing him to touch her.

ASH
It's a trick. Get an axe.

THE POSSESSED WOMAN

Awakens from her false slumber with a terrible BARK. In a frenzy she hurls Wiseman John into the bonfire. He SCREAMS and rolls in the dust, extinguishing the flames.

PAPER MACHE STONE ARCHWAY

With her great strength, the Possessed Woman pushes upon one of the giant stone archways. It topples over, crushing two warriors beneath it.

A GIGANTIC STONE

Topples the next stone.

BOOM!

Which topples the next, which sets off a chain reaction.

BOOM! BOOM!

Like giant dominoes, they fall.

ASH

Watches the spectacle in horror as he sees...

ANGLE ON

The gigantic falling stones coming right at SHEILA!

THE FALLING STONE'S POV – SHEILA

She SCREAMS!

SHEILA'S POV – THE FALLING STONES

Coming toward CAMERA.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

ASH

Does a flying leap and tackles Sheila, knocking her out of the stone's deadly path.

ASH AND SHEILA

Rolls across the dusty stone courtyard.

CLOSE SHOT – ASH

Rolls into frame and glances up to see...

THE POSSESSED AND BURNING WOMAN

Rushing through the air at him with a SHRIEK!

WIDE SHOT – THE POSSESSED AND BURNING WOMAN

Latches onto Ash like an iron trap, knocking them both to the ground.

ASH

Rolls the Possessed Woman over, and into the path of...

ANGLE ON

The falling, gigantic domino-like stones.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

EXT. WITHIN THE TEMPLE RUINS – PAPER MACHE STONE

THE POSSESSES WOMAN SHRIEKS in agony as... SMASH! The multi-ton stone crushes her legs to paste. Her legs are pinned but still she battles on, clutching Ash about his throat!

ASH

Gasps for breath as he reaches behind him, into the flames of the fire, his fingers groping for a weapon.

POSSESSED WOMAN – STOP MOTION ANIMATION

Her blackened lips pull back and her mouth opens to an impossibly large size, like a snake about to eat an egg.

ASH

Grasps a flaming log with his bare hands and rams it down the monster's oversized throat. She chokes.

GOLD TOOTH AND THREE OTHER WARRIORS

Grab the beast and pull it off of Ash. Arthur comes to meet them. He carries a double-bladed battle axe.

THE POSSESSED WOMAN

Vomits out the flaming log, taking off a man's head.

POSSESSED WOMAN

The Evil lives. Slay me and ten will rise to take my place. All will die. ALL WILL –

CHOP!

IN SILHOUETTE, THE AXE

Is brought down upon her throat. The possessed body flails and spasm beneath the Warrior's grip.

THE HEAD

Rolls, and comes to a halt at Ash's feet. It's eyes pop open!

POSSESSED WOMAN'S HEAD

DIE!

ARTHUR

Grabs the laughing head and tosses it into the darkness. The head sails away as the laughter receded.

WISEMAN JOHN

Now. Will thou quest for the Necronomicon?

CLOSE ON ASH

He considers.

INT. CASTLE – BLACKSMITH'S WORKSHOP – DAY

Ash and the blacksmith step into the shop.

ASH

Points to the hand piece on a hanging suit of battle armor.

THE BLACKSMITH

Pounds upon the hand armor, modifying it.

SHEILA

Knits a grey woolen garment as she watches Ash.

BLACKSMITH'S WORKSHOP – DAY

The Blacksmith attaches the shock absorber spring to the iron hand.

ASH

Tightens the tension on the shock absorber springs with a ratchet like device.

ASH

Extends his arm triggering the tightly wound spring.

WHOOSH! CLANG!

SHEILA

Gasps.

ASH'S SPRING-DRIVEN IRON HAND

SNAPS open with great force.

ANGLE ON

WHOOSH! CLANG!

Ash's SPRING DRIVEN HAND clenches closed with such great power, that it bends a iron goblet.

CLOSE ONASH

He studies his new hand. It will do nicely.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CASTLE TURRET – NIGHT

ASH stares over the castle wall to the foreboding wasteland with apprehension. The wind blows upon his hair. Sheila appears behind him. She drapes a grey garment over Ash. A magnificent cape. Ash draws her body close to his. He wraps the cape around her. Together they stare off into the night, then turn to one another and kiss.