AS GOOD AS IT GETS

      CAROL
      I don't think so. You need help
      with the pants?

      SIMON
       (emphatically)
      No!!!

      CAROL
      I'm going to take a big bath and
      order a big meal.

      SIMON
      Uh-huh...

      CAROL
      I'm sorry... are you okay?

      SIMON
      Well, considering everything's
      horrible and tomorrow I have to
      face my parents... Don't ask me
      ... I'm sick of my own complaints
      ... got to get me a new set of
      thoughts.

      CAROL
      Why? What have you been thinking
      about?

      SIMON
      How to die, mostly.

      CAROL
      Can you believe in our little mix
      you're the good roommate.

 Simon laughs -- as she crosses to the bathroom and begins
 to prepare a bath.

      SIMON
       (turning off the light)
      Good night.

      CAROL
      Good night.

 We are ON Simon settling in for sleep, when instinct or
 sounds or the faint glow of hope turns him so that he
 faces the bathroom and we have...

 SIMON'S POV

 Carol sitting at tub's edge -- a towel around her and now
 as Simon looks at the bathing beauty she adjusts her hair
 -- the towel falls -- a better than perfect breast
 exposed...

 BACK TO SCENE

      SIMON
       (a whisper)
      Hold it.

 He leaves the bed.

 ANGLES ON HOTEL DESK

 What's he up to... he takes the blotter from the desk set
 and a pen from his jacket pocket which hangs on the chair
 and with vigor and faint pain moves to the other side of
 the bed where he turns on the light and stares at Carol.

      SIMON
      I've got to sketch you.

      CAROL
      No... Absolutely not. I'm shyer
      than you think. I give the wrong
      impression sometimes and...

      SIMON
      I haven't even been thinking about
      sketching for weeks.

      CAROL
      Stop staring. Do a vase.

      SIMON
      But you're beautiful... your skin
      glows.

      CAROL
      Thanks. But I just want to take a
      bath and...

      SIMON
      That long neck -- the line of
      you... you're porcelain... your
      back goes on forever. You're
      classic... you're why cavemen
      chiseled on walls...

      CAROL
      All right, cut me a break.

 Simon's pen moves across the blotter -- Carol sees him
 earnestly engrossed, a beat of indecision and then shyly
 but deliberately she lowers the towel. He's right.
 She's breathtaking.

 INT. BAR - NIGHT

 Melvin sits alone, nursing a drink. He's been talking to
 the bartender.

      MELVIN
      So then, the next thing I know,
      she's sitting right next to me,
      and then, well, it's not right to
      go into the details, but I screwed
      up. I got nervous. I said the
      wrong thing and if I hadn't, I
      could be in bed now with a woman
      who if you could make her smile
      you got a life. Instead, I'm here
      with you, no offense, a moron
      pushing the last legal drug.

 He sits there, just another Joe on a bar stool with his
 heart breaking.

 INT. HOTEL SUITE - SIMON'S ROOM - CLOSE ON SIMON - NIGHT

 He's excited -- smiling... We hear Carol -- also revved.

      CAROL (O.S.)
      I don't care how you put it --
      We're being naughty here, pal.

 FULL SHOT

 Carol holding a pose for Simon... He is holding a
 ballpoint over the back of a hotel desk blotter. His
 style cramped by his cast.

      SIMON
      No. No. This is great, this is
      so great. I can't get the angle
      with this cast.

 He struggles with the cast, and then decides to struggle
 no more. Summoning remarkable strength, he rips a piece
 from the cast, freeing his hand -- he roars ironically --
 a lion's roar of liberation. He is back at his center.

 INT. HOTEL SUITE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

 Melvin is having a room service breakfast.

 The door opens... Simon enters. A new Simon -- better
 than ever, clearly happy -- a morning-after glow.

      MELVIN
      Did you have sex with her?

 Carol follows his out. Her arms are filled with the
 hotel soaps, shampoos, etc.

      MELVIN
      Sorry, didn't realize she was
      right there.
       (a beat)
      Did you have sex with her?

      CAROL
      To hell with sex.

 Carol looks at Melvin -- he can't meet her gaze.

      CAROL
      We held each other. It was better
      than sex. What I need he gave me
      great.

      SIMON
      I just love her.
       (beat)
      How're you doing?

 Melvin reacts.

 INT. HOTEL SUITE - DAY

 Simon finishes dialing the phone... a brief wait, then:

      SIMON
      Hello, hi, Mom -- I can barely
      hear you. Do you have to whisper?
      No -- don't apologize -- it was
      the luckiest thing for all of us
      that you didn't answer last
      night... I can't hear you... okay,
      dear, just listen to me then.

 ON MELVIN AND CAROL

 Melvin has been reduced to straight talk as Carol brings
 the bathroom bounty into the room and begins to put it in
 her suitcase.

      MELVIN
      I get why you're angry. It's no
      snap to explain why I was like
      that, but let's not try to do it
      on the run...

      SIMON
      ... so Mom. Truly no grudges --
      truly. A little odd that you
      didn't come to see me when you
      heard I was hurt, but the
      important thing I want you to know
      is your son is happy. I'm working
      again. I'll make do -- I don't
      want a thing. Wouldn't take it if
      it was offered. I'll drop you a
      note from wherever I land and then
      it's up to you. I hope we patch
      things up but know that if we
      don't, I wish you both the very
      best... I can't hear you. You
      heard me, though, right? Good --
      take good care. 'Bye.

 He hangs up, totally satisfied with himself and rips over
 to Carol and Melvin.

      MELVIN
      ... Now he's going to want to
      stay. And they'll want to take a
      ride to the lake or whatever. So
      it's a good five hours back. It
      gives us a chance to take it easy
      and...

      SIMON
      I'm going back with you.

      CAROL
      But what about...

      SIMON
      I'll take care of myself --

      MELVIN
      What are you talking about? You
      got real problems.

      SIMON
      I know. I'm a little bit nervous.
      Suddenly everything seems so easy.
      Carol, a load has been lifted.

      CAROL
      One night with me!

      SIMON
      You think you're kidding.

 Melvin stalks out.

 EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

 The car parked near a phone booth --

      MELVIN
       (to Frank over
        the phone)
      Aww Jesus! No choice.

 Carol walks up to Simon in the car.

      CAROL
      I got a gift for you.

 She hands him a base ball cap.

      MELVIN
       (on phone)
      Nothing like no choice to make you
      feel at home.

      CAROL
       (to Simon)
      Let me see... Ahh, gorgeous!

      MELVIN
      Do it then. Get the dog picked
      up. I can't believe you let it
      stay there.

 Melvin hangs up the phone.

      MELVIN
      Good-bye.