AS GOOD AS IT GETS

 She's just broken up with him but she's being nicer than
 ever. It's hard to know whether to die or not.

      MELVIN
      Okay to say something now?

      CAROL
      Go ahead.

      MELVIN
      I should've danced with you.

      CAROL
      Okay. Good-bye.

      MELVIN
      So long.

 Carol hangs up. She feels strange. A shoe hasn't dropped.
 Oh, hell... she missed him.

 INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 Melvin walks in anxious circles in the living room. He
 is impatient.

      MELVIN
      You going to come talk to me or
      not?

      SIMON
      I'm coming.

 We enters the room carrying Verdell who strains to be
 allowed closer to Melvin. Simon releases him.

      SIMON
      What did she say?

      MELVIN
      I'm a great guy --
      "extraordinary"...
       (before Simon can
        celebrate)
      ... and she doesn't want contact
      with me.
       (a beat)
      I'm dying here.

      SIMON
      Because...
       (gently)
      ... you love her?

      MELVIN
       (sharply)
      No... and you're supposed to be
      sensitive and sharp.

      SIMON
      Okay... you tell me why --
       (mimics him)
      "You're dying here."

      MELVIN
      I don't know... Let me sleep on it
      and figure it out.
       (then)
      Because I'm stuck! Can't go back
      to what I had... She's evicted me
      from my life.

      SIMON
      Did you like it that much?

      MELVIN
       (furiously)
      It was better than this... Look,
      you, I'm very intelligent. If
      you're going to give me advice or
      conversation or consolation or
      hope, you got to be better than
      you're doing. If you can't be at
      least momentarily interesting than
      shut the hell up. I'm drowning
      and you're describing water.

      SIMON
       (getting pissed)
      Picking on me won't help.

      MELVIN
      Well, if that's true then I'm
      really in trouble.

      SIMON
      But you know where you're lucky?

      MELVIN
      Absolutely not.

      SIMON
      You know who you want. I'll take
      your seat any day. So do
      something... don't sleep on it...
      go over there. I don't think
      anybody should ever sleep on
      anything -- it's not always good
      to let things calm down.

      MELVIN
      Hey... I'm charged here. But she
      might kill me for showing up this
      late.

      SIMON
      Then get in your jammies and I'll
      read you a story... I think you've
      got a chance. The only real enemy
      you have is her ability to think
      logically -- the best thing you
      have going for you is your
      willingness to humiliate yourself
      if it gives you one chance in
      whatever -- so go catch her off-
      guard.

      MELVIN
      Okay. Thanks a lot. Here I go.

 He moves for the door... stops suddenly, jolted.

      SIMON
      What's wrong?

      MELVIN
      I forgot to lock the door.

 EXT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING (CAROL'S NEIGHBORHOOD) -
 NIGHT

 As he parks. He exits the car -- now wary... looks at
 his watch... hesitates... walks reluctantly into the
 apartment house.

 INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - VESTIBULE - NIGHT

 As Melvin looks at Carol's doorbell with great
 uncertainty.

 INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

 Carol in a cotton wrap-around dress/bathrobe... sitting
 directly in front of a fan... the windows open, reading
 one of Melvin's books...

 There is the briefest possible sound of a DOORBELL...
 someone has jabbed her downstairs button ever so briefly
 -- so briefly that she's not certain it's her DOORBELL --
 until the same brief sound REPEATED... She walks to
 her wide open window and looks over.

 HER POV

 The convertible at the curb.

 BACK TO SCENE

 She hesitates --

 INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - VESTIBULE - NIGHT

 As Melvin gives up and starts out... turning as the
 sudden blast of being BUZZED into Carol's life sounds.
 He bolts for the door and enters.

 INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

 She opens the door... she hears the sound of MELVIN
 SOUNDING HEAVILY up the stairs... He reaches her side.

      CAROL
      What do you want, Melvin?

      MELVIN
      Were you asleep?

      CAROL
      What do you want?

      MELVIN
      'Cause if you were asleep -- I'm
      sorry. And you could be grouchy.

      CAROL
      Grouchy?

      MELVIN
      ... 'Cause of being woken up, and
      it would make my job impossible.
      So then I wouldn't even try.

      CAROL
      What job?

      MELVIN
      Were you asleep?

      CAROL
      What are you doing here?

 ANOTHER ANGLE

 Beverly in the hallway looking on --

 BACK TO SCENE

      MELVIN
      I'm sorry I woke you -- some other
      time.

 He half turns to leave.

      CAROL
      I wasn't asleep!!

      MELVIN
      What a break...

      CAROL
       (losing it a bit)
      Is it a secret what you're doing
      here?

      MELVIN
      I had to see you...

      CAROL
      Because...

      MELVIN
      It relaxes me... I'd feel better
      just sitting on the curb in front
      of your house than anyplace else
      I can think of or imagine.

 Carol has not ever heard anything like that before...
 it's sort of sexy in its sincerity.

 ANOTHER ANGLE

 As we see in the b.g. that Beverly, standing near her
 door down the hallway, has heard at least this last
 part...

 Melvin, of course, cannot leave well enough alone...

      MELVIN
       (serious)
      Wait a minute, I'm overstating
      here, maybe the inside stairs. I
      don't want to sit with my feet in
      the gutter. What does that serve?
      It only...

 But suddenly Carl is shouting to the heavens.

      CAROL
      Stop it!! Why can't I have a
      normal boyfriend??? Why? Get out
      of here. Just a regular boyfriend
      who doesn't go nuts on me...

      BEVERLY
       (butting in)
      Everybody wants that, dear -- it
      doesn't exit...
       (as Carol turns
        to her)
      Sorry... didn't mean to interrupt.