AS GOOD AS IT GETS

 Frank stumbles back... self-satisfied, he relaxes.

      MELVIN
       (excited)
      Okay... so I'll see you tomorrow.
      Let's not drag this out. We don't
      enjoy another that much.

      FRANK
      If there's some mental health
      foundation that raises money to
      help people like you be sure to
      let me know.

      MELVIN
      Last word freak.

 Frank adjusts and exits... Carol approaches calling a
 "good-bye" to him.

      CAROL
      So. Anything else?

      MELVIN
      Yes. I'm going to give my queer
      neighbor a lift to Baltimore.

      CAROL
      Okay.

      MELVIN
      Hey, what I did for you is working
      out?

      CAROL
       (a breath; then)
      What you did changed my life.

 She offers him the note.

      MELVIN
      No... no thank you notes.

      CAROL
      Well, part of what I said in this
      entire history of my life which
      you won't read is that somehow
      you've done more for my mother, my
      son and me, than anyone else ever
      has... And that makes you the most
      important, surprising, generous
      person I've ever met and that you
      be in our daily prayers forever.

      MELVIN
      Lovely.

      CAROL
      I also wrote one part... I wrote
      I'm sorry... I was talking about I
      was sorry when I got mad at you
      when you came over and you told my
      son that he ought to answer back
      so I wrote that.
       (reading from the
        letter, Melvin
        wildly uncomfortable)
      I was sorry for busting you on
      that... and I'm sorry for busting
      in on you that night... when I
      said I was never... I was sorry
      and I'm sorry every time your food
      was cold and that you had to wait
      two seconds for a coffee filler...

 Melvin wants to disappear but Carol is getting into it --
 emotionally moved by her own words.

      CAROL
      ... and I'm sorry for never
      spotting, right there at the table
      in the restaurant, the human being
      that had it in him to do this
      thing for us... You know what, I'm
      just going to start from the
      beginning... I have not been able
      to express my gratefulness to
      you... even as I look at the word
      "grateful" now it doesn't begin to
      tell you what I feel for you...

 And finally Carol notes Melvin's mood and pauses.

      MELVIN
      Nice of you... thank you.

      CAROL
      Thank you.

      MELVIN
      Now I want you to do something for me.

 She looks at him for a very strange, long beat.

      CAROL
      Oh, I'm sorry... Didn't I say,
      "what?" I thought I said,
      "what?"... What?

      MELVIN
      I want you to go on this trip.

      CAROL
      No, sir...

      MELVIN
      I can't do this alone. I'm afraid
      he'll pull the stiff one eye on
      me. I need you to chaperon.
      Separate everything but cars. You
      said you liked convertibles. Now
      I'm on the hook.

      CAROL
      The stiff one eye?

      MELVIN
      Two days.

      CAROL
      I can't. I work.

      MELVIN
      You take off when you have to.

      CAROL
      My son.

      MELVIN
      Bettes tells me he's doing fine.

      CAROL
       (no other way)
      Melvin, I'd rather not.

      MELVIN
      What's that got to do with it?

      CAROL
      Funny, I thought it was a strong
      point.

      MELVIN
      Write me a note and ain't she
      sweet. I need a hand and where'd
      she go.

      CAROL
      Are you saying accepting your help
      obligates me!?

      MELVIN
      Is there another way to see it?

      CAROL
      No.

 INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - BEVERLY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

 Carol takes an old weekend case down from the top shelf
 of the closet.

      CAROL
      Well, here's a little suitcase
      shocked that it's been used.

 She holds up a dress -- a pretty one... then decides it's
 too pretty and puts it back... Now she looks in another
 drawer and pauses as if she ponders one of the mysteries
 of the ages. She hesitates then talks to herself.

 INSERT -- UNDERWEAR DRAWER

 Her best underwear neatly stacked alongside her everyday
 "girl Jockies." She fingers the good stuff -- puts it
 back -- then the everyday -- hesitates.

      CAROL
       (furiously exasperated)
      There's not way to pack for this
      trip... well, I'll tell you -- I'm
      not packing the camera.

 As she exits the room --

 INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT

 As she picks up the phone.

 INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT

 Melvin is in his bedroom -- everything he's taking neatly
 stacked on the bed waiting to be packed (he is taking a
 camera). He has a list of what he needs. All items --
 underwear, socks, etc... with four checks next to each
 one and still he -- checks each stack on the bed and adds
 another check. The PHONE RINGS. This is an amazing
 development. He has almost no recent experience with
 receiving a nighttime phone call. He makes a little
 comment to himself as he moves.

      MELVIN
      Woo-woo.

 He stops -- briefly trying to remember where the phone is
 -- and then, remembering, crosses and picks it up but
 before bringing it to his mouth nervously clears his
 throat.

 ON CAROL

 As she hears his throat being cleared. It is not a
 pretty sound. (The following conversation is INTERCUT.)

      CAROL
      Hello?

      MELVIN
      Are you still coming?

      CAROL
      Yes.

 Melvin visibly relaxes.

      CAROL
      Melvin... I'd like to know exactly
      where we are going.

      MELVIN
      Just south to Baltimore, Maryland.
      So I know what you're going to ask
      next.
       (correcting himself)
      That you might ask -- I'm not
      certain.

      CAROL
      There's... there's no need to
      bring anything dressy... or... I
      mean -- I didn't know if we'd be
      eating at any restaurant that
      have dress codes.

      MELVIN
      Oh.
       (a beat)
      We might. Yes. We can. Let's.

      CAROL
      Okay, gotcha. What did you think
      I was going to ask?

      MELVIN
      Whether crabs are in season there
      now...

      CAROL
      Oh. Okay, then -- Melvin. Good
      night.

 INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - BEVERLY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

 Beverly looks up expectantly as her daughter enters.

      BEVERLY
      How was it talking to him?

      CAROL
      Stop treating this like I'm going
      away with a man. He's just going
      to say those crappy, sick,
      complaining, angry things to me.
      I hate this, Mom -- I hate this.
      He's a freak show -- the worst
      person I ever met.

      BEVERLY
      Well, maybe he has nice friends.

 EXT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

 Beverly and Spencer wait with her. The bus approaches.
 She kisses them.

      CAROL
       (to Spencer)
      You stand there and I'll wave to
      you from the back window.

 As she boards the bus.

      BEVERLY
      Call me as soon as you're settled.

      CAROL
       (to Spencer)
      I love you.

 The bus driver closes the doors on her -- she shoves them
 open.

      CAROL
       (to bus driver)
      Sensitive, huh?!

 The bus pulls out. He runs after the bus -- waving at
 his mother who grows concerned that he might be taxing
 himself.

 INT. VETERINARIAN'S WAITING ROOM - DAY

 A female VETERINARIAN in surgical scrubs holds Verdell as
 Melvin finishes filling out some forms.

 On opposite sides of the waiting room, a very large black
 dog and a tiny Chihuahua sit patiently with their owners.

      VETERINARIAN
      Anything unusual in the dog's
      diet?

      MELVIN
      No. Everybody gets their own
      cage?

      VETERINARIAN
      Certainly.

      MELVIN
       (pointing to
        Chihuahua)
      Put him in with that one, not that
      one...
       (pointing to large
        dog)
      ... Builds his confidence.

 EXT. BUS STOP NEAR APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - DAY

 Carol disembarks.

 EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - DAY

 As she walks and turns a corner.

 CLOSE ON CAROL

 The shot of the prisoner taking the walk toward the death
 chamber. But the prisoner -- has grit -- her knees do
 not buckle. She does not whimper. No prison "screws"
 will have to support her weight. Still, the prospect
 couldn't be grimmer.

 CAROL'S POV

 Melvin next to a spiffy convertible. Top down. Trunk open.

 CLOSER ON MELVIN

 He is wearing driving gloves and turns to witness the
 tussle Frank and Simon are having just inside the
 building.