BATMAN RETURNS

"BATMAN RETURNS"

1 INT. A STUFFY MANSION--A NIGHT ABOUT FORTY YEARS AGO 1

The viewer floats through an overbearing mansion and

up its sweeping staircase to where a stern man in

conservative dress is pacing back and forth, smoking a

cigarette in a cigarette holder. He is the FATHER. The

throes-of-labor pants and moans of the MOTHER can be

heard from down the hall.

Now, eerie Gaas and Goos chill the air. The Father stops *

and gapes the cigarette holder out of his mouth to see a

dazed NURSE shuffle out of the birth room and disappear *

down the hallway.

A TRAUMATIZED DOCTOR next wanders out. The Father runs *

past him into the room. The viewer remains outside and

hears the Father's subsequent screams.

2 INT. MANSION LIVING ROOM--CHRISTMAS EVE PAST 2

A bizarrely corrugated Cage sits amid the plush, period,

and Christmased-up surroundings of the mansion. With

their backs turned to the sickly squeals emerging from

the Playpen from Hell, Father and Mother, holding

martinis, look out a window of gentle snowfall, with

bloodshot eyes. A 50's-type radio warbles "Santa Claus

is coming to Town."

A strange pair of eyes peer from the cage. Taking the

point of view of the eyes from inside the playpen, one

sees the mansion's Christmas tree from between the dark

cage slats.

GIDDY YULETIDE SINGERS

"He knows when you are sleeping,

he knows when you're awake..."

The family cat skulks past the cage -- almost. Without

warning, the cat is yanked -- so fast and powerfully it

seems that it's been sucked -- through the bars, into the

cage. A feline SCREAM, then sickening silence.

With dead syncopation, Mother and Father finish off their

martinis, and plop the empty glasses down.

3 EXT. A PARK--THAT NIGHT 3

A HAPPY COUPLE in 50's dress, pushes a baby carriage

through the park cooing toward their bundle of joy

inside.

Father and Mother straggle from the other direction,

creaking forward an ominously closed-up, wickedly de-

signed baby carriage that serves to muffle nasty whining

and thumping noises.

HAPPY COUPLE

Merry Christmas!

Father and Mother fake a smiling response that collapses

as the happy couple passes. They then brake at a story-

book bridge over a bubbling brook. With dark nonchalance,

Father and Mother each grab an end of the carriage and

heave it upward.

4 EXT. THE CARRIAGE--NIGHT 4

swirls in the air and splashes down into the small river.

Right side up, the carriage gently rides the tranquil

rapids out of the park area. It bobs through an open

sewer tunnel pipe.

5 INT. THE SEWER--NIGHT 5

The carriage innocently slides through the murky waters

of the awesomely cavernous and creepy sewer, softly

surfing its sides.

6 INT. A DARK LAIR--NIGHT 6

The resilient carriage spews from a gaping pipe into a

moat of water that surrounds a vast patch of snow and

ice that is the centerpiece of a dark and mysterious

lair.

The carriage rides a gentle wave onto the sanctuary's

arctic island, into a patch of light. From out of the

darkness of the lair, FOUR STATUESQUE EMPEROR PENGUINS

WITH DISTINGUISHED GRAY BELLIES regally approach the

carriage and surround it with spooky authority.

FROM OUT OF THE DARKNESS OF THE OPENING CREDITS WE

GO TO...

7 EXT. A DISPLAY WINDOW--EARLY EVENING OF THE CURRENT ERA 7

A Batman logo fills the frame with a portentous soundtrack

boom. A playful salvo of snowballs reverberates against

this image as the logo is revealed to be a hanging center-

piece in the display window of a store that sells Batman *

sleds, lunch boxes, T-shirts, and ticking-to-twenty-

before-Seven clocks.

8 EXT. GOTHAM PLAZA--EARLY EVENING 8

Bathed in pristine snow and packed with ELATED SHOPPERS,

POINSETTIA GRASPING LOVERS, BLESSED CAROLERS, and an

overwhelming array of Christmas decoration, the intimate

Plaza center of Gotham City has been dragged kicking and

screaming into a state of beauty and happiness.

*

An ALL-AMERICAN DAD holds up a bowed Batman sled to an *

ALL-AMERICAN MOM. An ALL-AMERICAN SON rushes up causing

All-American Dad to exaggeratedly hide the present behind

his back. *

Just behind them, an ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL takes a dollar

from her precious little purse and gives it to a

SALVATION ARMY SANTA. A sweet, microphoned voice wafts

out over the Plaza.

SWEET MICROPHONED VOICE (O.S.)

Could I have your attention, Gotham

City?

9 EXT. FROM AN ELEVATED STAGE AT THE CENTER OF THE 9

PLAZA--EVENING

A dewy-eyed young lovely, wearing a snow bunny fur, a

tiara, and a banner streamed across her chest that reads

ICE PRINCESS, continues into her mike. An Elegant Lampost

Clock, near the stage, ticks fifteen minutes till seven. *

ICE PRINCESS

It's time for tonight's Lighting

of the Tree! How 'bout that!

The merry Consumers stop to watch the Ice Princess scurry *

to an IMMENSE VIBRANTLY MULTI-COLORED BUTTON and press it

down. This causes a mammoth Christmas Tree to light up.

The crowd erupts in aahs and oohs. *

10 INT. A VERTICAL SEWER GRATE--EVENING 10

Through a grand, vertical half-circle sewer grate, an

older pair of strange eyes peer. Taking the point of

view of the eyes through the grate slats, one sees the *

blazing Christmas Tree, just as one did through the *

Playpen bars.

11 EXT. OUTSIDE THE SEWER GRATE--EVENING 11

A pair of black webbed hands -- flippers, really -- curl

out around the grate bars. Eerily poking out next is a

twisted bird-like nose and a creepy pair of barely audible

lips.

THE CREEPY LIPS

"I know when you are sleeping, I

know when you're awake."

The world's most beloved butler, ALFRED, marches past the

sewer grate, past a PAPERBOY who bustles up, holding a

newspaper headlined "PENGUIN -- MAN OR MYTH OR SOMETHING

WORSE?"

PAPERBOY

Read about the latest sighting of

the Penguin creature! He was seen

torching a homeless shelter,

robbing a blind --

ALFRED

Dear Boy! Sometimes it is a

diversion to read such piffle.

Most times it is a WASTE of time.

Alfred suddenly feels a chill from behind, and below him. *

He turns to the sewer grate just as the slimy flippers

disappear into the darkness.

12 EXT. THE TOP OF THE SHRECK BUILDING--NIGHT 12

The viewer goes from Gotham's bowels to its summit. The

top floor of the building housing the department store

is a tower of Ivory with a large, friendly sentinel of

a cat at its tippy top. Two men stand in the window,

pointing down to the Plaza below.

13 INT. MAX SHRECK'S CONFERENCE ROOM--NIGHT 13

The conference room presents itself in its high-tech

splendor. A mighty Shreck Corporation logo of a friendly

cat adorns one wall.

The two men are MAX SHRECK and THE MAYOR. Max is a *

pillar of community charisma. The Mayor is more

straightforward, less spectacular.

MAYOR

Well here's hoping ... With Batman

protecting us, and all your enterprises

keeping our economy on full boil,

Gotham just might have its first

real Christmas in a good long while.

MAX

(nods, then)

I feel almost vulgar, in this

Yuletide context, about mentioning

the new power plant.

(MORE)

MAX (CONT'D)

But if we're gonna break ground

when we've GOTTA break ground,

I'll need permits, variances, tax

incentives ... that sort of pesky

nonsense.

Evidently, this is the first the Mayor has heard of it.

MAYOR

"Power plant"? Max, our studies *

show that Gotham has enough energy *

sources to sustain growth into the *

next cen--

MAX

(scoffs)

Your analysts are talking growth

at one percent per annum. That's

not growth, that's a mild swelling.

I'M planning ahead for a

revitalized Gotham City ... So we

can light the whole plaza without

worrying about brownouts ... Do *

you like the sound of "brownouts"?

Do you?

Behind them, Max's football-hero son CHIP (as in Chip off

the old block) enters, with SELINA KYLE, Max's beautiful-

beneath-bifocals-and-a-subdued-haircut assistant. She

sets down fresh coffee for Max and the Mayor.

MAX

Imagine a Gotham City of the future

lit up like a blanket of stars ...

but blinking on and off,

embarrassingly low on juice.

Frankly I cringe, Mr. Mayor.

Chip glances to a fierce digital clock showing 6:50.

CHIP

Dad. Mr. Mayor ... It's time to

go downstairs and bring joy to the

masses.

Max looks to the Mayor: what's it gonna be? *

MAYOR

(curt) *

Sorry. You'll have to submit *

reports, blueprints and plans to

the usual committees, through the

usual channels.

This isn't what Max wants to hear. But before he can

retort:

SELINA

Um, I had a suggestion. Well,

really, actually more of just a

question ...