BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD DO AMERICA

"BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD DO AMERICA" 

by

Mike Judge and Joe Stillman

            The movie begins with scenes of people screaming in horror and running down the streets of a big city. The ground shakes from what seems like giant footsteps. There are pieces of building debris falling everywhere, people getting crushed, power lines coming down, etc. - complete pandemonium. It all looks very much like a Japanese animated King-Kong or Godzilla movie. We hear the footsteps getting closer and the ground shaking becomes more intense - more debris falling. Then we see a HUGE BLACK TENNIS SHOE come into frame and smash a National Guard truck. As we pan up, we see the white socks, then the red shorts, the AC/DC T-shirt, then we hear the familiar, "Huh huh huh." - only it's a huge sound...this is a THREE-HUNDRED FOOT TALL BUTT-HEAD. "Butt-Kong" continues his path of destruction - stomping on cars and buildings and saying, "This is cool. Huh huh huh."

            Airplanes and tanks start firing at Butt-Head (Butt-Kong). He looks irritated and says, "Cut it out butt-munch!" Butt-Head swats at the planes, sending them crashing to the ground and stomps on the tanks. Then, something catches his eye. Butt-Head reaches into a skyscraper and picks up a nice looking woman - a lot like the one from the King Kong movie. He looks down at her in his hand and goes wide-eyed, "Whoa! Huh huh huh." The woman screams in terror as Butt-Head looks down at her and tries a few lame pick up lines. "Uuuuh...Hey baby. I'm like, pretty tall. Huh huh huh." He swats down a helicopter that is circling his head, "Dammit, I'm trying to score!" The helicopter goes down in flames. We CUT TO some guys sitting on a tank firing at him. They notice giant footsteps coming from the other direction and turn the tank around. Through their binoculars we see a THREE-HUNDRED FOOT BEAVIS coming from the horizon. The giant Beavis is even more destructive than Butt-Kong (maybe he could be breathing fire). Beavis starts trying to pick up on Butt-Head's woman. Butt-Head puts the woman down and he and Beavis begin to go at it, leveling the city with one of their stupid juvenile smack-fights.

            We CROSS-DISSOLVE from three-hundred foot Beavis shaking Butt-Kong to Butt-Head asleep on the couch with Beavis shaking him.

INT.  B&B'S HOME - DAY

                                                BEAVIS (O.C.)

                        Butt-Head! Butt-Head! Hey, Butt-Head!

Butt-Head is dead asleep on the couch. Beavis shakes him.

                                                BEAVIS

                        Butt-Head, wake up, wake up!

Butt-Head comes around.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Dammit, Beavis, I was about to score.

                        Huh huh.

                                                BEAVIS

                        Yeah, but check it out. It's gone!

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        What's gone?

                                                BEAVIS

                        The TV.

Beavis is making STRANGE NOISES, in a state of shock.

Butt-Head rubs his eyes and looks at the empty space where the TV was.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Uuuuuuh, huh huh. Uuh,...

Out the window, we see two YOUNG MEN carrying B&B's TV into their van.

Still on the couch, Butt-Head looks over at the broken window. We see a CROWBAR lying on the floor, and the front door left open.

Butt-Head looks at the BROKEN WINDOW, at the CROWBAR, the OPEN DOOR, then back at the EMPTY SPACE where the TV was. He does this a couple of times - piecing it all together.

                                                BUTT-HEAD (CONT.)

                        Whoa! I think I just figured something

                        out Beavis.

                                                BEAVIS

                        What?

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        This sucks.

                                                BEAVIS

                        Yeah, heh heh.

Beavis is still in shock. They both stare at the empty space where the TV was for a beat, not quite sure what to do.

Beavis is SHAKING AND MAKING WEIRD NOISES. He presses buttons on the remote a few times, as if it might help somehow.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        This sucks more than anything that

                        has ever sucked before. We must find

                        this butt-hole that took the TV.

EXT.  CITY STREET - NIGHT

Bad neighborhood. 70's music blares.

A fast driving car drives right at us and stops. Punks run in fear. Beavis hops out of the driver's seat, wearing bell-bottoms, chain jewelry and a 70's afro. Into a dramatic CLOSE-UP, he takes off his glasses.

FREEZE ON BEAVIS

                                                ANNOUNCER

                        Beavis!

FRAME UNFREEZES. Beavis whips out a huge gun.

                                                BEAVIS

                        Freeze, butt-wipe!

An attacker comes from one side. Beavis uses Judo. Another tosses a knife. Beavis ducks, then shoots with two hands, police style.

INT.  BEDROOM - NIGHT

Swinger's pad. Totally 70's. A group of bikini'd girls on a waterbed. Butt-Head approaches them. He wears a leisure suit, collar way open. He plops down in the bed.

FREEZE ON BUTT-HEAD

                                                ANNOUNCER

                        Butt-Head!

FRAME UNFREEZES. The girls wrap their arms around him.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Huh huh huh. Come to Butt-Head, baby.

                                                ANNOUNCER

                        Star in...

MAIN TITLE - FULL FRAME

EXT.  CITY STREETS - DAY/NIGHT

ACTION MONTAGE BEGINS. Styled like a 70's cop show opening.

OPENING CREDITS to the movie appear just as cop show credits would.

Beavis does a Starsky and Hutch-style roll with a gun.

Butt-Head slaps a pimp.

Beavis drives, chasing a car.

Butt-Head is slapped by a girl.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Huh huh huh. That was cool.

Beavis and Butt-Head are in a warehouse shoot-out.

A black police chief rises from a desk to yell at B&B.

B&B dive for cover just before a building explodes.

In CLOSE-UP, Beavis smiles for an ID shot.

Butt-Head does the same.

Beavis, in a rooftop fight, kicks his opponent over the edge.

A beautiful woman, back to us, takes off her dress for Butt-Head. FINAL OPENING CREDIT APPEARS. Butt-Head and the woman fall into bed. Suddenly...

INT.  SCHOOL HALLWAY/DOOR TO A.V. ROOM - DAY

From inside, SOUND of equipment crashing.

B&B come out wheeling a TV on one of those carts. There are cables attached to it still leading back into the A.V. room. As they push the cart we hear more equipment falling.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Dammit, it's stuck.

They give it one big push and it finally breaks free. We see that the cables are tangled with cables from other TVs and VCRs, which all come crashing to the ground.

                                                BUTT-HEAD (CONT.)

                        Huh huh huh. That was cool.

                                                BEAVIS

                        Yeah, heh heh. Let's just wheel this

                        thing back to the house.

INT.  SCHOOL/ANOTHER HALLWAY - DAY

MR. VAN DRIESSEN stops B&B.

                                                VAN DRIESSEN

                        Ah, excuse me boys. What's going on

                        here?

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Uh, someone stole our TV.

                                                BEAVIS

                        Yeah. We're just gonna use this one.

                        Get outta the way. Heh heh.

                                                VAN DRIESSEN

                        I'm afraid that TV belongs to the school.

                        Mmmkay? You know, this could be a positive

                        experience for you guys. There's a

                        wonderful world out there when we discover

                        we don't need TV to entertain us.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Huh huh huh. He said "anus."

                                                BEAVIS

                                                (to himself)

                        Entert-ain...us...an-us...Oh yeah! Heh

                        heh. Anus. Heh heh.

                                                VAN DRIESSEN

                                                (frustrated)

                        Have you guys heard a word I've said?

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Yeah, "anus." Huh huh huh huh.

                                                VAN DRIESSEN

                        Look, guys, just take the TV back to the

                        A.V. room right now. And try to be a little

                        more open-minded. Mmkay?

Van Driessen leaves. B&B continue to wheel the cart home.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        What a dork. Huh huh.

                                                BEAVIS

                        Yeah, heh heh. He's a anus. Heh heh.

EXT.  SCHOOL/STAIRWAY - DAY

B&B arrive with the cart at the top of a stairway. They lamely attempt to let it slowly down the steps. The cart is too top-heavy and goes tumbling to the bottom of the stairs, shattering the TV.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Huh huh huh. That was cool.

                                                BEAVIS

                        No it wasn't!

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Uh,...Oh yeah.

B&B stand at the top of the stairs looking down at the wrreckage. PRINCIPAL McVICKER shows up by the TV.

                                                McVICKER

                        Why.... You... You bastards... Ge...

                        get out! You're suspended. One more

                        screw up... and you're expelled.

B&B walk off laughing.

EXT.  THE ANDERSON'S DRIVEWAY - DUSK

B&B walk up. There's a camper in the driveway.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Whoa, check it out Beavis. I didn't

                        know Anderson had a Camper.

                                                BEAVIS

                        Yeah, heh heh. Maybe it has a TV.

                        Heh heh. TV.

B&B walk up to the camper and start to open the door just as MARCY ANDERSON opens it. (As usual, she doesn't recognize them.)

                                                MARCY

                        Oh, hello. Are you guys here to look

                        at the refrigerator?

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Uh, no.

                                                BEAVIS

                        We're here to look at the TV. Heh heh.

                                                MARCY

                        Oh, I didn't realize it was broken.

                        Come on in.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Cool. Huh huh huh.

B&B walk into the camper. Marcy stays outside.

EXT.  ANDERSON'S CAMPER - SAME TIME

Tom is adjusting the trailer-hitch. Marcy watches.

                                                TOM

                        Well that oughtta hold her. Ya know,

                        the most important thing you can have

                        on a camper is a good propane regulator,

                        and this here's the best one they make.

                                                MARCY

                        I sure hope we can get the 'fridge fixed

                        before we leave.

                                                TOM

                        Now Marcy, we've been savin' for this trip

                        our whole lives and we're gonna go come

                        Hell or high water...

Through the camper walls, we hear the faint sound of B&B AIR/MOUTH-GUITARING "IRON MAN."

                                                TOM (CONT.)

                        What the hell is that noise?

INT.  ANDERSON'S CAMPER - DUSK

B&B watch a "Cops"-type show. Beavis gets up, goes to the refrigerator and grabs a soda. The refrigerator is under the counter on which the TV is sitting.

Beavis takes a sip and then does a SPIT TAKE, SPRAYING SODA ALL OVER THE TOP OF THE TV.

                                                BEAVIS

                        AAAAAAGH!!! This crap is warm!

ANGLE ON TV: The soda Beavis spit out drips into the inside of the TV. We see smoke and hear SIZZLING AND SHORT CIRCUIT SFX. The TV goes dead.

                                                BUTT-HEAD

                        Beavis, you butt-hole! You broke it.