Bull Durham

THE BATTER TAKES OFF ON A HOME RUN TROT -- Slightly scared.

AND CRASH HEADS TO THE MOUND where Nuke watches the Mooing

Cow and the circling batter with dismay. Crash smiles.

CRASH

Guy hit the shit outta that one,

eh?

NUKE

Well, I held it like an egg.

CRASH

An' he scrambled the son of a

bitch.

(beat)

Having fun yet?

NUKE

I'm having a blast.

(beat)

God, that sucker teed off on it

just like he knew I was gonna

throw a fastball.

CRASH

He did know.

NUKE

How?

CRASH

I told him.

CRASH SMILES -- Drops the mask, returns behind the plate.

NUKE SIGHS -- Takes a deep breath.

NUKE

Don't think. Just throw. Don't

think. Just throw.

NUKE'S WINDUP AND DELIVERY -- A fastball. A powerful, clean,

overwhelming fastball. Strike one.

NUKE (VOICE OVER)

God, that was beautiful. What'd

I do?

NUKE WINDS UP AND DELIVERS HIS NEXT PITCH -- A monster. An

Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh fastball. Twenty feet wide of

the plate.

THE BULL MASCOT DIVES FOR COVER -- The ball hits the bat

rack. Bats go flying.

CUT TO:

ANNIE IN HER BOX SEAT -- Jackson with the radar gun.

ANNIE

Oh dear....easy honey...

JACKSON

Ninety-five miles an hour...

CUT TO:

BACK TO NUKE -- Pacing the mound. Looks In for the sign.

NUKE PITCHES AGAIN -- The batter lines a single to left.

NUKE'S P.O.V. THE MANAGER AND PITCHING COACH TALKING

NUKE (VOICE OVER)

Christ, Skip and Larry are talking

about me. Don't get anybody warm

in the pen yet. I'm okay. I'm

having fun.

NUKE PITCHES AGAIN -- The batter lines a single to right.

NUKE'S P.O.V. THE BULLPEN -- TWO PITCHERS start warming up.

NUKE (VOICE OVER)

Don't yank me in the first, man.

NUKE'S P.O.V. -- THE MANAGER comes out to the mound to talk.

NUKE (VOICE OVER)

Aw, shit.

THE MANAGER AND CRASH MEET NUKE on the mound.

SKIP

Relax.

NUKE

Don't pull me, Skip. I'll settle

down. I'm okay!

SKIP

(fatherly)

Relax, Nuke, Relax...

(to Crash)

What kinda stuff's he got?

CRASH

I don't know. I haven't caught

anything yet.

SKIP

What're you thinking about out

here, Nuke?

NUKE

I'm trying not to think.

SKIP

Good. But just 'cause you ain't

s'posed to think don't mean you

ain't s'posed to use your head.

SKIP SLAPS NUKE ON THE ASS in a gruff, reassuring way, and

returns to the dugout. Leaving Nuke and Crash.

CRASH

Have some fun, God damn it.

CRASH SMILES -- And as he returns to the plate...

CUT TO:

ANNIE WATCHES IN THE STANDS with Jackson and the radar gun.

ANNIE

Here we go again, Jackson, hold

on tight...

Hit Professor Longhair rock and roll...and:

DISSOLVE TO:

NUKE DELIVERS -- A batter grounds out weakly.

DURHAM AT BAT -- DUGOUT -- Crash lets Jose rub his bat with

a chicken bone cross. Then steps to the plate and--

CRASH HITS A LONG HOME RUN -- And circles the bases.

NUKE DELIVERS -- A line drive nearly undresses him. Runners

circle the bases.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LOCKER ROOM -- NIGHT

THE SHOWERS -- Naked bodies in the steamy room. No joking

around. A team on losing streak.

SUDDENLY SKIP STEPS INTO THE SHOWER in his uniform and angrily

throws an armload of bats into the shower.

SKIP

Anybody not outta the shower in

ten seconds gonna get fined a

hundred bucks. One, two...

THE SHOWER EMPTIES in seconds. Players grab a seat, and:

WHITEY THE SPORTSWRITER ENTERS as he does every night.

SKIP

No press for five minutes, Whitey.

WHITEY

I'm doing a column on the Myth of

Sisyphus as manifest in a minor

league losing streak, Joe, and I

thought

SKIP PICKS UP A CHAIR AND FIRES IT AT WHITEY -- The chair

crashes into a locker. Whitey hurries out.

SKIP

If I ever need a brain transplant

I'll choose a sportswriter 'cause

that way I'd be getting a brain

that's never been used.

A couple snickers from the players. Skip whirls.

SKIP

What're you laughing at?!

Silence.

The Durham Bulls sit and stand quietly.

SKIP

You guys lollygag the ball around

the infield, ya lollygag you're-

way to first, ya lollygag in an'

outta the dugout. You know what

that makes ya

(beat)

Lollygaggers. What's our record,

Larry?

LARRY

We're eight and sixteen.

SKIP

Eight and sixteen?! How'd we

ever win eight?

(beat)

Jose, what's this sign?

SKIP FLASHES THROUGH A SEQUENCE of signs. Hand to face,

hand to belt, hand brushes letters, etc.

JOSE

That's the steal.

SKIP

Wrong. That's the bunt. This is

the steal.

SKIP FLASHES QUICKLY ANOTHER SEQUENCE -- Hand to face, hands

to hands. He speaks rapidly--a private language.

SKIP

Face is "skin to skin". Skin

starts with "S". "S" stands for

steal if it follows the indicator

which is hand to eye 'cause the

word "indicator" starts with an

"I" so I figure "eye"--

(touches his eye)

--would remind you of "I" for

indicator to indicate that what

follows is the sign. I figure

wrong-- You're a buncha

lollygaggers.

(beat)

This is a simple game.

(beat)

ya throw the ball, ya hit the

ball, ya catch the ball.

CLOSE ON FACES OF THE PLAYERS -- Sitting silently.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE BALLPARK SIMULTANEOUS -- NIGHT

THE SIX PLAYERS' WIVES WAIT in a cluster. Three of them

have SMALL CHILDREN. The children are crying.

The long-suffering women try to calm the kids.

BOBBY'S WIFE

Bobby went hitless again. He's

gonna be in a terrible mood...

terrible. How'd Mickey do?

MICKEY'S WIFE

He got two hits.

BOBBY'S WIFE

Lucky you.

CUT TO:

BACK INSIDE THE LOCKER ROOM -- Skip is winding down.

SKIP

We can't win at home--how we gonna

win on the road? We got a twelve

day road trip starting tomorrow.

(beat)

Bus leaves at six In the morning.

SKIP HEADS BACK INSIDE his little office with Larry.

CUT TO:

INSIDE SKIP'S OFFICE -- He and Larry open a couple beers.

THE DOOR OPENS -- BOBBY ENTERS wearing only a towel.

BOBBY

You wanted to see me?

SKIP

Yeah, Bobby, shut the door.

(he does)

This is the toughest job a manager

has...

(beat)

But the organization has decided

to make a change--

BOBBY

Skip, I know I'm in a slump but I

hit the ball hard tonight, right

at 'em. A couple flares drop in,

and I'm back in the groove!

The nearly naked 25 year old man pleads helplessly--his career

is over.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE STADIUM -- NIGHT

THE PLAYERS EXIT -- The Groupies wait in a cluster. The

wives wait in another group. Bobby's wife sees Bobby.

BOBBY'S WIFE

(to child)

There's Daddy! Wave to Daddy!

--P.O.V. BOBBY COMING OUT OF THE CLUBHOUSE -- Another player

has his arm around Bobby, consoling him. The wife knows.

BOBBY'S WIFE

Oh God...

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. STADIUM PARKING LOT -- DAWN

THE DURHAM BULLS TEAM BUS is parked. Luggage is loaded.

Sleepy players arriving, escorted by wives and girlfriends.

ANNIE BIDS NUKE GOODBYE -- Off to the side. She pulls

something from her handbag and hands it to Nuke. A pair of

WOMEN'S RED PANTIES, with lace and frills.

ANNIE

I want you to wear these on the

road trip when you pitch.

NUKE

What?

ANNIE

They'll fit snugly against your

balls in such a wonderful way

that you'll start seeing things

differently--plus they'll remind

you of me which is better than

thinking about those nasty hitters.

NUKE

Jesus, Annie, I don't know--

ANNIE

You've been pitching out of the

wrong side of your brain. These'll

help move things to the right

side.

NUKE

Big League pitchers don't use

these.

ANNIE

They did when they were in the

Carolina League.

NUKE STUFFS THE PANTIES in his pocket, bewildered. A small

kiss from Annie, and he hurries to the bus.

CUT TO:

INT. LOCKER ROOM -- DAWN

PLAYERS THROW THEIR GEAR into their travel bags.

A PAPER BEER CUP IS TAPED TO THE WALL -- With a sign:

"Married men deposit wedding rings here for road trips".

CLOSE ON THE CUP -- A ring is dropped in, and another, and...

We begin hearing Annie's VOICE OVER:

ANNIE (VOICE OVER)

A woman should never ask questions

about road trips.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE PARKING LOT -- DAWN

THE TEAM BUS PULLS OUT -- Wives and girlfriends head back to

their apartments, leaving:

ANNIE WALKING BACK ROME -- Several blocks to her house.

ANNIE (VOICE OVER)

Men don't realize that women always

know when they've been unfaithful.

(beat)

The fact is, upon exact moment of

penetration--the woman knows.

AS ANNIE WALKS BACK through Durham...

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY THROUGH THE SMOKY MOUNTAINS EARLY MORNING

THE TEAM BUS ROLLS through the North Carolina landscape.

ANNIE (VOICE OVER)

This sort of spiritual awareness

can be a mixed blessing, especially

if you're dating a ballplayer. I

believe a woman oughta take care

of her man so thoroughly that he

can go on the road for a few days

without having the desire to search

out another pair of panties

(self-aware)

That is probably, however, my

most ridiculous belief.

(sigh)

I just hope the boys start winning

soon. In some profound way I

fear that a last place team is a

reflection on its women...

THE BUS ROLLS through North Carolina.

CUT TO:

INT. THE BUS -- MORNING

SKIP SITS IN THE FRONT of the bus, doing a crossword puzzle.

LARRY READS A BOOK -- "How to Make a Million Dollars in Real

Estate with No Money Down".

DEKE TURNS UP HIS TAPE DECK -- George Jones sings "He Stopped

Loving Her Today".