Bull Durham

MICKEY TURNS UP HIS TAPE DECK across the aisle -- Aretha

Franklin sings "R-E-S-P-E-C-T".

DEKE TURNS HIS VOLUME LOUDER -- Mickey does likewise, and

soon we have DUELING TAPE DECKS. C & W going head to head

with R & B. A cacophony.

SKIP LEAPS TO HIS FEET, WHIRLS and shouts.

SKIP

I got one word to say to you--

Shut up!

Silence.

And then from the back of the bus, some soft, gentle, but

slightly dissonant guitar chords.

THE BACK OF THE BUS -- Nuke sits across the aisle from Crash,

who's re-reading Thomas Pynchon. Nuke has a guitar and is

struggling with some chords to "Try a Little Tenderness".

He butchers the chords and the words.

NUKE

(singing softly)

Oh she may get wooly, women do

get wooly, because of all the

stress...

CRASH

(in disgust)

Gimme that.

CRASH STRONGARMS THE GUITAR from Nuke.

CRASH

I hate people who get the words

wrong. It ain't "woolly" it's

"weary" and it nobody's got stress,

they're wearing a dress.

(beat)

Listen.

CRASH WHIPS THROUGH THE FIRST FEW BARS of the song.

CRASH

(sings softly)

Oh she may be weary, Young girls

do get weary, Wearing the same

old dress...

HE SHOVES THE GUITAR back at Nuke.

NUKE

How come you don't like me?

CRASH

'Cause you don't respect yourself,

which is your problem, but you

don't respect the game--and that's

my problem.

(beat)

You got a gift.

NUKE

What do I got?

CRASH

A gift. When you were a baby the

gods reached down and turned your

left arm into a thunderbolt.

Nuke looks at his left arm rubs his shoulder curiously.

CRASH

You got a Hall of Fame arm but

you're pissing it away.

NUKE

I ain't pissing nothing away--I

got a Porsche already. A 944

with A.C. and a quadraphonic

Blaupunkt.

CRASH

You don't need a quadraphonic

Blaupunkt--you need a curve ball.

(beat)

In the Show, everybody can hit

the fastball.

NUKE

You been in the Majors?

CRASH

Yep.

Tony and Deke overhear this and turn around. And Crash gets

wistful, lyrical, and even slightly hopeful.

CRASH

I was in the Show for 21 days,

once.

(beat)

It was the greatest 21 days of my

life. You never touch your luggage

in the show--somebody else handles

your bags. It's great.

(beat)

The ballparks are like cathedrals,

the hotels all have room service,

the women have long legs and brains--

it's a smorgasbord.

DEKE

The women are hot, eh?

CRASH

Yeah--and so are the pitchers.

They throw ungodly breaking stuff

in the Show--exploding sliders.

Nuke, Tony, and Deke murmur in awe at Crash's pronouncement.

CRASH

You could be one of those guys--

but you don't give a fuck, Meat.

NUKE

God damn it I'm sick of you calling

me "Meat"! You wanta step outside!

CRASH HOPS TO HIS FEET as the bus barrels along, grabbing

Nuke by the collar.

CRASH

Yeah, let's go.

Nuke quickly has second thoughts--Crash can be terrifying.

NUKE

No. Wait a minute. Calm down,

Crash...

Nuke sits back down. Calms. Reaches for a baseball sitting

nearby. He hands the ball to Crash.

NUKE

Teach me how to throw a breaking

ball.

Crash takes the ball gently and speaks softly:

CRASH

As I was saying ya hold it like

an egg.

As the bus rolls through the country:

A LATE 60'S OLDS CONVERTIBLE ROARS PAST -- Max Patkin at the

wheel. He waves at the team bus and honks.

The opening bars on the National Anthem--"Oh Say Can You

See"

And Max roars off through the rolling green-landscape...

Hit Hank Williams music to play over:

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. WINSTON-SALEM BASEBALL STADIUM -- DAY

MAX PATKIN COACHES THIRD in his comic routine, now, for the

Winston-Salem team, as Durham is in the field.

A WINSTON-SALEM BATTER lines a double off the wall.

CUT TO:

INT. DURHAM RADIO STATION -- DAY

TEDDY THE ANNOUNCER re-creates the game for broadcast with a

several second delay.

HIS ASSISTANT (P.A. ANNOUNCER FROM THE BALLPARK) has a phone

to her ear, and writes down each play on a piece of paper,

holding it up for Teddy who enhances shamelessly in his ON

THE AIR "play by play".

CLOSE ON PAPER -- His assistant writes "DOUBLE TO LEFT".

TEDDY HITS A TINY MALLET against a jar. Thunk. The sound

of ball hitting bat. He punches one of several tape cassettes

cued up. A crowd roars. An array of special effects is at

his fingertips.

TEDDY (ON THE AIR)

...double off the wall by Higgins,

and once again the Durham pitchers

are unable to get the first out

of the Inning...

HIS. ASSISTANT WRITES ANOTHER NOTE -- "ERROR MCFEE"

Thunk -- The mallet again.

TEDDY (ON THE AIR)

Line drive to center--a diving

stab by McFee--oohhhh! Ball gets

by his glove, another run in and

the crowd loves it--

PUNCHES A CASSETTE -- A crowd roars.

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY THROUGH SMOKY MOUNTAINS -- NIGHT

The bus rolls through a small town.

CUT TO:

EXT. CHEAP MOTEL IN GREENSBORO -- DAWN

THE TEAM BUS PULLS IN -- Players stagger off, half asleep.

TEDDY (ON THE AIR) O.S.

Bulls will attempt to end a six

game losing streak against the

Greensboro Astros with Nuke LaLoosh

on the hill...

CUT TO:

INT. GREENSBORO BALLPARK LOCKER ROOM -- DAY

NUKE DRESSES FOR THE GAME -- He pulls the RED PANTIES out of

his bag. Looks around the clubhouse. Nobody sees them.

He's embarrassed anyway--and stuffs them back.

CUT TO:

EXT. GREENSBORO BALLPARK DAY

NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS -- The batter swings, and:

CUT TO:

INT. RADIO STATION -- DAY

TEDDY AND HIS ASSISTANT -- A note is held up, "Single"--

THUNK -- The mallet strikes.

TEDDY ON THE AIR

Base hit centerfield off LaLoosh...

HIS ASSISTANT (ON THE PHONE) SCRAWLS another quick note.

THUNK THUNK THUNK -- A rapid sequence of the mallet striking

the percussive box, and:

TEDDY ON THE AIR

That closes the book on LaLoosh

today, 5 earned runs, 5 hits, 5

strikeouts, 5 walks, 5 wild

pitches...

CUT TO:

EXT. GREENSBORO BALLPARK -- DAY

SKIP REMOVES NUKE FROM THE GAME and he heads for the showers.

CUT TO:

INT. ANNIE'S KITCHEN -- DAY

ANNIE SITS WITH MILLIE at the kitchen table, listening to

the radio. Annie sighs. Millie consoles her.

CUT TO:

INT. GREENSBORO LOCKER ROOM -- DAY

NUKE IN THE SHOWERS ALONE -- Letting the water run over him.

The voice of Teddy an the air, editorializing shamelessly.

TEDDY (ON THE AIR)

It's time to tell it like it is,

sports fans--and this is the most

wretched road trip I've seen in

20 years, and possibly the worst

Durham team in half a century.

(beat)

Where are the great Bull players

of yesteryear? Where are the

Footsie Blakes, the Digger O'Dells,

the Gus Palowitzes?

TEDDY'S VOICE PLAYS OVER road trip images:

NUKE STARTS TO PUT ON THE RED PANTIES -- Changes his mind,

and hides them again.

THE TEAM BUS rolling across North Carolina.

THE TEAM BUS at a drive through hamburger stand somewhere in

the Smoky Mountains. Sack after sack of fast food is passed

through the window to Skip.

THE TEAM BUS PULLS INTO YET ANOTHER HOTEL and this time, a

Bus with a sign--"Holiday on Ice" pulls in next to them.

TEDDY ON THE AIR

Is the modern athlete a pale

imitation of the great old

warriors? Only Crash Davis stands

out this year, begging the

question, "What are these boys

thinking about, 'cause it sure

ain't baseball".

CUT TO:

EXT/INT. THE BUS IN FRONT OF THE KINGSTON HOTEL -- NIGHT

As the players rise in the bus, Deke is trying to work up

excitement about the "Holiday on Ice" bus from which twenty

great looking women ice skaters are getting off.

P.O.V. HOLIDAY ON ICE GIRLS getting off the bus.

TONY

Ice skaters. God. Look't em.

that's what we need, y'know--one

night with some skaters and we

can get back on track...

DEKE

We need a night off just to stop

our losing streak. We need a

rainout.

CRASH

I can get us a rainout.

MICKEY

It's 90 degrees, there ain't been

a cloud in the sky in weeks.

CRASH

Hundred bucks says I can get us a

rainout tomorrow.

TONY

You're on.

CUT TO:

EXT. KINGSTON BASEBALL STADIUM -- NIGHT

A CAB PULLS UP in the dark. Late at night. The cab leaves,

and the four men climb over the fence.

CUT TO:

EXT. INSIDE THE KINGSTON BALLPARK -- NIGHT

CRASH PULLS THE LID OFF A BOX -- Several valve handles.

Crash turns several handles with an iron bar, and...

THE SPRINKLER SYSTEM COMES TO LIFE -- And suddenly the field

is covered with the clicking of rain-bird sprinklers, throwing

long slow arcs of water across the entire field.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE SCOREBOARD OF THE BALLPARK -- MINUTES LATER --

NIGHT

THE FOUR PLAYERS sit on the scoreboard, watching the

sprinklers flood the field. A six-pack is passed around.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE BALLPARK -- EARLY THE NEXT MORNING

A QUAGMIRE ON THE INFIELD -- The Kingston GENERAL MANAGER

stands in the muck with his ground crew. Wheelbarrows,

shovels, sand is piled around. It's hopeless.

KINSTON G.M.

God damn it! Vandals. Damn kids!

GROUND CREW MEMBER

We can't get it ready by game

time, boss.