FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF

44 INT. KITCHEN 44

Ferris stands up and pockets the quarter.

45 CU. FERRIS' BED 45

A shower of coins and bills rain down on the sheets. The

SONG ENDS.

46 EXT. REAL ESTATE OFFICE. MORNING 46

A suburban realty company. A cute little building in town.

47 INT. OFFICE 47

Joyce is behind a desk. Across from her are two WOMEN.

They're also real estate agents.

JOYCE

No one's going to consider a

house with a black living room.

Not even those jerks from Vermont.

Let's be realistic.

AGENT 1

Mrs. Volbeck's dead set against

putting any money into the house.

Joyce's phone intercom buzzes. She take the call.

JOYCE

Joyce Bueller.

Her eyes open wide with alarm.

JOYCE

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I

completely forgot to call.

48 EXT. HIGH SCHOOL 48

A modern, suburban high school.

MAN'S VOICE

Are you aware that your son is not

in school today?

49 INT. SCHOOL. HALLWAY 49

It's a passing period. The hall is clogged with students.

JOYCE'S VOICE

Yes, I am. Ferris is home sick. I

had a meeting first thing this

morning. I should have called. It

completely slipped my mind.

50 INT. SCHOOL. DEAN'S OUTER OFFICE 50

A SECRETARY is at work at her desk. We hear the dean inside

the office.

DEAN'S VOICE

Are you also aware that Ferris does not

have what we consider an exemplary

attendance record?

51 INT. DEAN'S OFFICE. CU. DESK SIGN 51

It reads, EDWARD R. ROONEY. DEAD OF STUDENTS. The dean's

feet are up on the desk, behind the sign. Moderately priced

dress shoes.

JOYCE'S VOICE

I don't understand.

DEAN'S VOICE

I just had his file up.

INT. OFFICE. CU. DEAN

ED ROONEY is sitting behind his desk. He's tough, clean and

straight as an I-beam. Short, neatly combed hair, suit and

tie. He's toying with a pencil. He's confident to the point

of arrogance.

ROONEY

I just has his file up, Mrs. Bueller.

Behind him is a computer terminal. He removes his feet from

the desk and turns in his swivel chair.

ROONEY

If Ferris thinks he coast this last

month and still graduate, he's sorely

mistaken.

JOYCE'S VOICE

This is all news to me.

CU. COMPUTER MONITOR

The monitor on Rooney's desk displays Ferris' records.

ROONEY'S VOICE

So far this semester alone, he's been

absent nine times. Including today.

JOYCE'S VOICE

Nine times?

Under DAYS MISSED we see a number 9 suddenly change to a

number 2.

INT. OFFICE

Rooney turns to the monitor. He reads off the screen.

ROONEY

I have it right here in front of me. He's

missed...

He looks closer at the screen.

52 INT. FERRIS' ROOM 52

Ferris is at his Macintosh computer. He has his record up

on the screen.

FERRIS

I wanted a car. I got a computer. How's

that for being born under a bad sign?

53 INT. JOYCE'S OFFICE 53

She's still on the phone with Rooney.

JOYCE

I can give you every assurance that

Ferris is home and that he is, in

fact, very ill. I debated whether

or not I should even leave him.

I can appreciate that at this time

of year children are prone to taking

the day off, but in Ferris' case,

he's truly a very sick boy.

54 INT. FERRIS' BEDROOM 54

MUSIC BLASTS. SOLO GUITAR.

CU. SPEAKER

The grille cloth is throbbing.

CU. LED METERS

The meters on the amplifier are totally in the danger zone.

CU. TV MONITOR

We see Ferris in his room with a guitar around his neck.

He's playing.

CU. VIDEO CAMERA

A home video camera is capturing Ferris on tape.

55 INT. CAMERON'S ROOM 55

He's sitting on the edge of the bed buttoning his shirt. He

sighs deeply and fall back on the bed.

56 INT. SCHOOL. HALLWAY 56

Jeanie is at her locker during a passing period. A

GIRLFRIEND comes up to her.

GIRL

I'm really sorry about your brother.

JEANIE

What're you sorry for? I have to live

with the trouser snake.

GIRL

No, I mean I heard he's really sick.

JEANIE

Who said he's sick.

GIRL

A whole bunch of people. They said

he's like on the verge of death.

Jeanie stares incredulously at the girl.

GIRL

This guy in my biology class said

that if Ferris dies he's giving

his eyes to Stevie Wonder? He's

really sweet isn't he?

She smiles and exits. Jeanie cocks her head in bewilderment.

She kicks her locker shut.

57 INT. FERRIS' ROOM 57

He's in bed on the phone.

FERRIS

A sample of my blood was sent

to Atlanta to the Center for

Disease Control. I don't know,

man, I'm bricking heavily.

(point to the

phone)

Freshman.

(to the phone)

Did you see Alien? When the guy

had the creature in his stomach?

It feels like that.

58 INT. SCHOOL. HALLWAY 58

A FRESHMAN BOY is on the pay phone. A couple of his BUDDIES

are standing at his side waiting anxiously for news.

BOY

Goddamn! Are you kidding?

SECOND BOY

What?

BOY

Did you see Alien?

SECOND BOY

No.

BOY

You never rented the video cassette?

Second boy shakes his head, no.

BOY

Oh. He's really wasted.

THIRD BOY

(to the Second Boy)

Who's he talking to?

SECOND BOY

Ferris Bueller. You know him?

THIRD BOY

(excited)

Yeah. He's getting me out of summer

school.

BOY

Anyway, I appreciate you letting us

know how you're doing. We gotta split.

(pause)

Huh?...Yeah, sure. Hold on.

SECOND BOY

(to Third Boy)

Shit. I hope he doesn't die.

I can't handle summer school.

The boy snatches a passing GIRL.

BOY

Did you see Alien?

GIRL

Yeah, why?

He hands her the phone.

GIRL

Hello?

(pause)

Who?

(pause)

Hi, Ferris. How's your bod?

(jaw drops)

Oh, my God! You're dying?

Is it serious?

(pause)

Shiit! Are you upset?

59 INT. DEAN'S OFFICE 59

Rooney's comparing his computer monitor to hard copy. His

SECRETARY is standing over his shoulder.

ROONEY

I don't trust this kid any further

than I can throw him!

SECRETARY

With your bad knee, you better

not throw anybody, Ed.

Rooney stares at her for a long beat.

ROONEY

What's so dangerous about a character

like Ferris Bueller is that he gives

the good kids bad ideas. The last thing

I need at this point in my career is

fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples

running around these halls.

SECRETARY

He's very popular, Ed. Sportos, motorheads,

geeks, sluts, pinheads, dweebies, wonkers,

richies, they all adore him.

ROONEY

That's exactly why I have to catch him

this time. To show these kids that the

example he sets is a first class ticket

to nowhere.

SECRETARY

(impressed)

Ooo. You sounded like Dirty Harry just

now.

Rooney looks up at her with a proud smile.

ROONEY

Really?

He unconsciously does an Eastwood squint.

60 EXT. FERRIS' HOUSE 60

It's a glorious late spring day. A florist's truck drives

past the house.

61 INT. FERRIS' ROOM 61

He's on the telephone. As he speaks he does a little

MacPainting on his MacIntosh. A Modigliani nude.

FERRIS

Cameron, if you're not over here

in fifteen minutes, you can find

a new best friend. I'm serious, man.

This is bullshit, making me wait

around the house for you.

62 INT. CAMERON'S BEDROOM 62

Cameron's back in bed.

CAMERON

I'm sick. I feel like shit. Why can't

you leave me alone?

FERRIS' VOICE

You're not up for some good times?

It's a beautiful day. It's almost

summer. If this was Hawaii, we'd be

surfing.

63 INT. FERRIS' ROOM 63

He's growing weary of Cameron's wimpishness.

FERRIS

You want to stay home and try

to have the shits? Try to barf?

Try to feel worse?

CAMERON'S VOICE

I don't have to try.

FERRIS

Be a man. Take some Pepto Bismol

and get dressed. You're boring me

with this stuff.

The other phone line rings.

FERRIS

Squeeze you buns for a second. I

got another call.

He puts Cameron on hold. He clears his throat and answers

the second line. He sounds like he's on his last breath.

FERRIS

H--hell-o?

64 EXT. OFFICE BUILDING. DOWNTOWN 64

A LaSalle Street office tower.

TOM'S VOICE

Ferris?

65 INT. TOM'S OFFICE 65

He's behind his desk. Nice office. Two windows. Herman

Miller desk and chair.

TOM

You sound miserable.

FERRIS' VOICE

Really? Darn! I thought I was improving.

TOM

Were you sleeping?

FERRIS' VOICE

I was trying to do some homework.

66 CU. COMPUTER MONITOR 66

A closer view of the rude drawing Ferris is making.

FERRIS (OC)

I'm so worried about falling behind.

INT. FERRIS' ROOM

He leans back from the monitor and sips a Coke.

FERRIS

Dad? Can you hold on a second?

TOM'S VOICE

Sure, pal. Are you alright?

FERRIS

Just a little phlegm on the phone.

Hold on.

He puts his father on hold.

FERRIS

Cameron? It's my Dad.

CAMERON'S VOICE

Oh, that's just great. Are you busted?

FERRIS

It's completely cool. He's just

checking up on me. Now, listen to

me. I'm working on getting some

heavy bucks out of him. So, the least you

can do is hurry up and get over here.

Bye.

He disconnects and gets his father back. He switches back to

his sick voice.

FERRIS

Sorry, Dad. The moment before you

called, I had a chest spasm and I

blew lung fluid all over the place.

It was making me ill looking at it.

But gee, it's sure great of you to call.

I'm sure there're alot of fathers

who wouldn't take time out from

their busy schedules to call a dumb,

sick teenager.

TOM'S VOICE

Hey, pal, what was I supposed to do?

Ferris reaches out and hits a key on his computer. The

screen dumps the drawing.

FERRIS

Give yourself some credit, Dad. It

was a mammoth gesture. It's like those

savings bonds you used to give me

every Christmas.

(looks at CAMERA and smiles)

It was that kind of concern.

CU. COMPUTER SCREEN

A message is flashing: "TRANSMITTING DATA".

INT. FERRIS' ROOM

He turns away from the computer and puts his feet up on the

desk. He lights a cigarette.

FERRIS

You had to work hard for the money

to buy those things, right?