The Fifth Element

AKNOT

(tense)

... We are warriors, not merchants!

ZORG

(humored)

But you can still count. Look... my fingers.

He holds up four fingers.

ZORG

... Four stones, four crates... Zero stones...

(yelling)

ZERO CRATES!!!

(to his men)

Put everything back, we're outta here.

Aknot's warriors turn their weapons on Zorg.

AKNOT

(icily)

We risked our lives. I believe a little compensation is in order.

ZORG

(smiling)

So, you are a merchant, after all.

(to his men)

Leave them one crate. For the cause!

Zorg's men leave a crate and exit with the other three.

EXT. OUTSIDE ZORG'S WAREHOUSE – DAY

Zorg walks along the street to his limo. RIGHT ARM carries the empty case.

ZORG

I don't like warriors! They're too narrow-minded, no sublety. Worse, they fight for hopeless causes... for honor! Honor has killed millions of people but hasn't saved a single one.

 (pause)

You know what – do I like though, I like killer. A real dyed in the wool killer. Cold-blooded. Clean. Methodical. Thorough. A killer, when he picked up the ZF1, would've immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.

INT. HALLWAY ZORG'S WAREHOUSE – DAY

The warriors have all taken a weapon. One of them inspects his ZF1. He turns it over and notices the little red button. He presses it.

EXT. OUTSIDE ZORG'S WAREHOUSE – DAY

Behind Zorg, an ear-shattering explosion levels the warehouse.

ZORG

(impassive)

Bring the priest.

INT. KORBEN'S APARTMENT – DAY

Korben is finishing a Thai meal, cooked by a Thai on his mini restaurant anchored at the window. The cat eats next to Korben, contented.

KORBEN

So you forgive me?

The cat meows just as a red light blinks, announcing the arrival of a message in a glass tube. Korben ignores it.

THAI

Not going to open?

KORBEN

I've never gotten a message that wasn't bad news.

THAI

How someone strong like you scared from a message? Is good news I sure!

KORBEN

The last two messages I got? The first one was from my wife telling me she was leaving! And the second was from my lawyer telling me he was leaving too... with my wife.

THAI

You right that is bad... but mathematically luck must change! Grandfather say: "It never rain every day." This is good news guarantee... I bet you lunch!

Korben hesitates, then gives the envelope to the Thai, who opens it with a big smile that fades as reads the contents aloud.

THAI

... You're fired. Oh!

Korben smiles at him.

KORBEN

At least I won lunch.

THAI

Good philosophy... see good in bad... I like... I prepare number one dessert... special for you and pussy...

The cat meows.

INT. CORNELIUS' APARTMENT – DAY

Leeloo is polishing of' an immense pile of dessert as David bangs away at the computer.

DAVID

I got it! Everything here we need to know about Fhloston Paradise Hotel... and a detailed blueprint of the entire hotel!

CORNELIUS

Good work, my son. Now all we need is a way to get there.

The doorbell rings.

CORNELIUS

I'll get it. Finish your work my son.

Cornelius opens to Right Arm with armed escort.

RIGHT ARM

Father Cornelius?

CORNELIUS

My son?

RIGHT ARM

Mr. Zorg would like a word with you.

CORNELIUS

Mr. Who?

INT. ZORG'S OFFICE

Zorg turns to Cornelius.

ZORG

Zorg. Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg... nice to see you again

CORNELIUS

I remember you now... the so called art dealer.

ZORG

I'm glad you got your memory back, Father... Because you're going to need it... Where are the stones?

CORNELIUS

... Why on earth do the stones interest you?

ZORG

Personally, they are of no interest to me, I'd rather sell weapons... but I have a customer... so tell me...

CORNELIUS

Even it I did know where the stones were I would never tell somebody like you.

ZORG

Why? What's wrong with me?

CORNELIUS

... I'm a priest! I'm here to serve life, All you want to do is destroy it.

ZORG

Ah, Father... You are so wrong. Let me explain...

Zorg leads Cornelius into his inner office.

ZORG

... would you like a drink?

CORNELIUS

No thank you.

ZORG

Follow me... Life, which you so nobly serve, comes from destruction. Look at this empty glass.

Zorg pushes the glass with his finger.

ZORG

Here it is... peaceful... serene... but if it is...

Zorg pushes the glass off the table. It shatters on the floor.

ZORG

Destroyed...

Small individual robots, both free-wheeling and integrated, come zipping out to clean up the mess.

ZORG

... Look at all these little things... so busy all of a sudden. Notice how each one is useful. What a lovely ballet, so full of form and color. So full of... life!

CORNELIUS

They are robots!

A SERVANT comes in pours water in another glass. Zorg tosses a cherry into it.

ZORG

Yes but... by that simple gesture of destruction. I gave work to at least fifty people today. The engineers, the technicians, the mechanics. Fifty people who will be able to feed their children so they can grow up big and strong. Children who will have children of their own, adding to the great cycle of life!

Cornelius sits in silence.

ZORG

Father, by creating a little destruction, I am, in fact, encouraging life! So, in reality, you and I are in the same business!

CORNELIUS

Destroying a glass is one thing... killing people with the weapons you produce is quite another.

ZORG

Let me reassure you Father... I will never kill more people in my entire life than religion has killed in the last 2000 years.

Zorg smiles, holds up the glass and takes a drink. Unfortunately, he chokes on the cherry. Unable to breathe, Zorg starts to panic.

CORNELIUS

(mocking)

Where's the robot to pat your back?

Zorg falls, writhing, on his desk, inadvertently hitting buttons which trigger a slew of little mechanisms. They pop out all over the desk. True chaos reigns. Even a cage appears, holding a Souliman Aktapan, a fat multicolored beastie, PICASSO, who seems surprised to be out in daylight. He licks his half-dead master in thanks. Cornelius gets up and walks around the desk. Zorg motions for help.

CORNELIUS

Can I give you a hand?

Cornelius whacks him on the back. The cherry comes flying out. Zorg regains control of himself. GUARDS come running in.

ZORG

You saved my life... So, I'm going to spare yours.

(to the Guards)

Throw him out!

The Guards throw Cornelius out.

CORNELIUS

You are a monster, Zorg!

ZORG

(complimented)

I know...

The Guards drag Cornelius out of the office.

ZORG

... Torture whoever you want, the president if you have to but I want those Stones. You have an hour.

Right Arm salutes and hurries out of the office.

EXT. / INT. SPACE / SPACESHIP

... The dark planet. Three warships are positioned in front of it. Communication satellites arrive from all over the place, drawn to it like a magnet.

CAPTAIN

(observing)

It's gobbling up all the communication satellites in the galaxy!

INT. PRESIDENT'S OFFICE

President Lindberg appears even more crushed by recent events.

PRESIDENT

Why the hell is it eating up all those satellites like that?

HEAD SCIENTIST

(desperate)

... We're working on it, Mr. President. We're working on it.

PRESIDENT

It should only choke on them.

MUNRO enters the office just as a cockroach crawls onto the desk. There's a small antenna on its back.

INT. SMALL ROOM

Zorg's Right Arm wears earphones, monitoring the President's conversation with the cockroach-spy.

INT. PRESIDENT'S OFFICE / SMALL ROOM

MUNRO

I managed to contact the Mondoshawan. They deplore the incident, but accept our apologies.

PRESIDENT

(relieved)

And the Stones? Did you find them in the wreckage?

MUNRO

The-Stones weren't aboard the ship.

PRESIDENT

(surprised)

... What do you mean?

The President is all ears.

So is Zorg's Right Arm.

MUNRO

The Mondoshawan never fully trusted the human race... they felt we're too unpredictable... so they gave up the Stones to somebody they do trust. Her name is Plavalaguna. She's a Diva and she's going to sing at the charity ball on Fhloston Paradise in a few hours. She has the Stones with her.

The President breathes easier.

Zorg's Right Arm is delighted.

PRESIDENT

(taking off a shoe)

Excellent!

The President crushes the cockroach with his shoe.

Right Arm's earphones fly off his head. Good-bye eardrums.

INT. PRESIDENT'S OFFICE

PRESIDENT

I want your best man on this!

MUNRO

Don't worry, Sir. I have the perfect one.

INT. KORBEN'S APARTMENT – DAY

CLOSEUP – The most disgusting dessert ever made. Korben looks at it shimmying on a plate as the Thai serves it to him proudly.

THAI

Stewed jellyfish cake... my speciality...

Korben forces a weak, polite smile as the Thai looks on expectantly. The phone rings.

KORBEN

Saved by the bell.

Korben rises to get his cigarettes, and answer the phone.

KORBEN

... Hello?

MOTHER (V.O.)

You're the nastiest dirtbag I know in this stinking City!

KORBEN

(resigned)

Hi Ma...

MOTHER (V.O.)

I've been playing twice a week for 20 years, 20 years I've been eating those shitty croquettes.

Korben goes to light his cigarette. There are only two matches left in the match box. Korben strikes one and it fizzles.

MOTHER (V.O.)

You wouldn't even eat one to help your poor mother, and you win the big prize? Know something? The whole thing makes me sick!

The Thai starts to clean up. Just as Korben goes to strike the second match...

MOTHER (V.O.)

Are you listening to me, you ingrate!

KORBEN

(resigned)

Yes ma...

Korben sighs and puts the match back in the box.

Korben enters his code on the keypad the Thai is holding.

KORBEN

(to the Thai)

Go on... This is gonna take a while!

The Thai casts oft. Korben closes the window.

KORBEN

Other than that... You all right?

MOTHER (V.O.)

... And now you're making fun of me? I'm warning you! If you don't take me after all these years of sacrifice, I'll never forgive you!!

The Thai flies off. In the hall, the cat meows-for more food.

KORBEN

(to the cat)

I'm coming!. Ma, what're you talking about?