FIGHT CLUB

JACK (V.O.)

She invaded my support groups, now she's invaded my home. My

friendship. Like a cancer.

TYLER

You're okay, aren't you?

JACK (V.O.)

I Am Joe's Clenching Bowels.

JACK

Sure.

JACK (V.O.)

Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains.

JACK

It's fine, great.

TYLER

Now, listen. You gotta understand something about me. I got a little

rule. Don't ever talk to her about me. I can't stand that kind of

shit.

Tyler fixes Jack with a friendly, but firm stare.

TYLER

If you ever mention me to her -- or anyone else -- I'll find out about

it. And you'll never see me again.

JACK

Okay.

PG 57

TYLER

You promise?

JACK

I promise.

Tyler abruptly gets up and leaves the kitchen. Jack watches him go,

smoldering.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Jack sits watching television at HIGH VOLUME. Sounds of ROUGH SEX from

upstairs.

CUT TO:

INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jack lies calmly, in a Zen state, on his bed, staring at the ceilng.

Sounds of THUMPS and CRASHES from beyond the wall, along with Tyler's

and Marla's VOICES, SNARLING:

MARLA'S VOICE

You slimy discharge!

JACK (V.O.)

I could've moved to another room, one on the third floor -- so I

wouldn't have heard them. But I didn't.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Jack brushes his teeth.

JACK (V.O.)

I wrote little haiku things:

"Worker bees can leave

Even drones can fly away

The queen is their slave"

I became the calm little center of the world. I was the Zen master.

MOVE IN ON -- KEYHOLE - Jack's EYE

MARLA (gasping in passion)

I love you. I want to have your abortion.

PG 58

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

Sound of RAIN pelting the house. Jack flips the fuses off, walks up

the stairs.

JACK (V.O.)

"A tiger can smile

A snake will say it loves you

Lies make us evil"

INT. 2ND FLOOR LANDING - SAME

Jack walks up the steps. He hears Marla SCREAM in orgasm. He reaches

the landing. Tyler's door is slightly ajar. Jack can't help stopping.

JACK'S POV - TYLER'S ROOM

Marla's legs are sprawled on the bed. Her head is down over the far

side, out of view. The door PUSHES OPEN WIDER -- Tyler, naked, stands

CLOSE TO CAMERA.

TYLER

What are you doing?

WIDE ON LANDING

Jack steps back.

JACK

I ... uh ... just going to bed.

Tyler grins and nods toward bed.

TYLER

You want to finish her off?

JACK

Uh ... nah ...

Jack continues toward his room.

INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY

Jack's clothes are PERMANENTLY STAINED with BLOOD. He sits in his Zen

pose, typing. We see his HAIKUS on the screen.

JACK (V.O.)

I faxed them around to everyone.

He hits "SEND". Boss enters, reacts with exasperated irritaiton at the

sight.

PG 59

BOSS

Is that your blood?

JACK

*Some* of it, yeah.

Boss stares at Jack like he's from Mars.

BOSS

Take the rest of the day off. Come back tomorrow with clean clothes.

And get yourself together.

INT. HALLWAY - SAME

Jack, looking like a war casualty, walks past COWORKERS who coldly

stare at him. His face is totally passive.

JACK (V.O.)

I got right in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises

from fighting. See? It's nothing to me? See how cool I am about it?

That's right, I'm enlightened!

EXT. PAPER STREET - SUNSET

Jack walks toward the house.

JACK (V.O.)

You give up the condo life, give up all your worldly possessions and go

live in a dilapidated house in the toxic waste part of town.

INT. TYLER'S KITCHEN - SUNSET

Jack walks inside. Sound of VIOLENT SEX from upstairs -- THUDS and

WHAMS. Pieces of PLASTER fall from the ceiling in tufts of dust.

JACK (V.O.)

... And you come home to *this*.

TYLER'S VOICE

Take that, butt wipe!!

Jack rolls his eyes, takes off his pants. He runs water in the sink.

He takes a tiny bit of soap and begins to scrub the blood stains.

PHONE RINGS. He answers.

JACK

Hello? Speaking.

PG 60

INTERCUT WITH

INT. POLICE STATION - OFFICE

DETECTIVE STERN leans forward in his chair, consulting a file.

DETECTIVE STERN

This is Detective Stern with the arson unit. We have some new

information about your condo. The deadbolt on your front door was

shattered. Someone sprayed freon into the lock to freeze it. Then,

they tapped it with a cold chisel to shatter the cylinder.

JACK (V.O.)

I Am Joe's Cold Sweat.

And, in fact, cold sweat beads up on Jack's forehead. He scrubs his

pants obsessively.

DETECTIVE STERN

The dynamite had a residue of ammonium oxalate and potassium

perchloride -- this means we can assume it was homemade.

JACK

This is ... really a shock to me, Sir.

DETECTIVE STERN

Whoever set the dynamite could've turned on the gas and blown out the

pilot lights on the stove days before the explosion took place. The

gas was just the trigger.

JACK

Who do you think did it?

DETECTIVE STERN

I'm asking the questions, son.

JACK

I loved my life. I loved that condo. I loved every stick of

furniture. That was my whole life. Everything -- the lamps, the

chairs, the rugs -- *were* me. The dishes were me. The plants were

me. The television was me.

PG 61

JACK (V.O.)

I'd like to thank the academy ...

DETECTIVE STERN

Do you know anyone who'd have the expertise and the motive to do

something like this?

Jack's eyes move upward, then back down.

JACK

Uh ... no.

DETECTIVE STERN

Well, think about it. If any ideas come to you, give me a call. And,

in the meantime, don't leave town.

END INTERCUT

Jack hangs up the phone, turns to see Tyler standing right next to him.

Tyler puts a hand on Jack's shoulder, squeezes it affectionately.

Jack turns away and continues to scrub -- rebuffing Tyler. Tyler

smiles compassionately at him.

Marla's FOOTSTEPS can be heard coming down the stairs. JACK'S POV --

as he really grinds the soap against the pants, splashes water all over

the place.

JACK'S POV PIVOTS, WIDEN ON ROOM. Marla enters. Tyler is GONE. Jack

looks around to the open back door, then back at Marla. She lights a

cigarette.

JACK (V.O.)

Except for their humping, Tyler and Marla were never in the same room.

The same disappearing act my parents pulled for years -- one came in,

and the other was gone.

Marla moves very close to Jack and props a leg up on a stack of

magazines near him. She's not wearing underwear. Jack becomes very

aware of his having no pants on, so he pushes up against the counter.

Marla lasciviously pulls the hemline further up her leg.

MARLA

I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar.

JACK

It was worth every penny.

PG 62

MARLA

It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day,

then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree -- so special, then, bam, it's

on the side of the road with tinsel still clinging to it.

She leans in very close to his ear and whispers hoarsely:

MARLA

You can borrow it sometime.

JACK

That's hysterical.

Marla blows smoke into Jack's face. He grabs her cigarette, throws it

into the water in the sink. She smiles saucily and LEAVES the room.

Sound of her FOOTSTEPS going upstairs.

TYLER (O.S.)

Get rid of her.

Jack turns and sees Tyler in the back doorway.

JACK

*You* get rid of her.

TYLER

And don't mention my name. You promised.

JACK

Yes, yes, I promise.

TYLER

Promise?

JACK

I said I promise!

TYLER

That was three times you promised.

Marla's FOOTSTEPS can be heard coming down the staircase.

TYLER

Tell her to go.

Jack looks toward the archway, then back at -- ? Tyler is GONE. Marla

glides into the kitchen with a PACK of cigarettes. She daintily takes

one out and lights it.

PG 63

JACK (V.O.)

I'm six years old again, passing messages between my parents.

JACK

Uh ... I think you should go now.

Marla begins to do a slow, exotic dance around the kitchen, sometimes

moving very close to Jack, sometimes moving away. She lifts her dress

dangerously high -- does she expose herself? -- hard to tell. She

dances very close to Jack's body, almost touching it.

JACK

What are you trying to do?!

Marla stops dancing, and BURSTS into loud LAUGHTER.

MARLA

You're such a nutcase, I can't even begin to keep up.

She touches Jack's hair. He slaps her hand away.

JACK

Just get out of here.

Marla's face turns sour. As she stomps out the back door --

MARLA

I'm already so fucking gone that all you see is an after-image.

Jack watches her through the kitchen window.

TYLER (O.S.)

Good job.

As Jack turns, we WIDEN to include Tyler, standing right behind Jack,

beaming. Through the window, in the background, Marla can be seen

quickly moving away on the sidewalk. Tyler puts his hand on Jack's

shoulder.

TYLER

Let's get out of this place for awhile, take a walk.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Tyler moves forward at a brisk pace. Jack keeps up with him. Tyler

cuts across a paved road and into a WOODED AREA. Jack follows.

PG 64

EXT. ALL-NIGHT CONVENIENCE STORE - MOMENTS LATER

Tyler, with Jack following, emerges from the trees and heads into the

parking lot. A Clerk ambles toward his car, taking off his uniform bow

tie. Tyler suddenly pulls a HANDGUN out of his belt and rams it

against the Clerk's head.

EXT. WOODED AREA - CONTINUOUS

Tyler marches the Clerk, the gun aimed at his head. Jack follows.

JACK

What are you doing?!

TYLER

Shut up.

JACK

Are you out of your fucking mind?!

TYLER

Shut up.

Tyler stops the Clerk and pushes him down to a kneeling position.

TYLER

Give me your wallet.

The Clerk fumbles his wallet out of his pocket and Tyler snatches it.

Tyler pulls out the driver's license.

TYLER

Raymond K. Hessel. 1320 SE Benning, apartment A. A small, cramped

basement apartment.

RAYMOND

How'd you know?

TYLER

They give basement apartments letters instead of numbers. Raymond,

you're going to die.

RAYMOND

Please, God, no.

JACK

What are you doing?!

PG 65

TYLER (to Jack)

SHUT UP! You have no idea of what it is to hit bottom. I've been

trying to get you there -- I blew up your condo.

JACK

... The ... cops are onto you.

TYLER

No, they think *you* did it.

Tyler continues, to Raymond:

TYLER

Your mom and dad will have to call old doctor so-and-so to get your

dental records, because there won't be much of your face left.

Raymond begins to weep, his shoulders heaving. Jack starts to gasp for

air. Growing even paler, he slumps back against a tree. His mouth

becomes dry.

TYLER

Is this a picture of Mom and Dad?

RAYMOND

Yesss ...

JACK

Look, if this is all about me ...

TYLER

You? Nothing is about you.

JACK

I'm doing okay, aren't I?

TYLER

You don't have your cute, little condo or your fey furniture, you're

living in squalor ...

Tyler continues, to Raymond:

TYLER

An expired community college student ID card. What did you used to

study, Raymond K. Hessel?

RAYMOND

S-S-Stuff.

PG 66

TYLER

"Stuff". Were the mid-terms hard?

Tyler shoves the gun against Raymond's temple.

TYLER

I asked you what you studied.

RAYMOND

Biology, mostly.

TYLER

Why?

RAYMOND

I don't know.