Four Rooms

MAN

You want five hundred bucks?

TED

Sure!

Man hesitates a moment, then pulls out his wallet. That was too easy.

MAN

How about three?

TED

Three hundred?

MAN

Yeah.

TED

Three's good.

MAN

My children are staying here tonight watching TV. I want you to check up on them every thirty minutes.

TED

Check up on 'em?

MAN

Make sure they're all right, make sure they're fed, make sure they go to bed.

TED

We can call out and hire a babysitter.

MAN

I don't trust babysitters. My children are safer alone than with some fucked-up pedophile babysitter I don't know from the man in the fucking moon.

WIFE

What about him? What makes you think you can trust him?

Man grabs Ted's face and tilts it torward Wife.

MAN

Tell me that's not a face you can trust.

Man lets go of Ted's face. He feels his jaw. It's still there.

TED

Look, sir, I'd like to help you out, but I really can't. I'm all alone here tonight.

Man whips out his wallet and counts out money in Ted's face.

MAN

One hundred... two hundred... three hundred...

TED

I thought you said five hundred.

Man glares at Ted.

MAN

I said three hundred.

Ted doesn't back down.

TED

No, you distinctly said five hundred.

The angrier Man gets, the quieter he talks.

MAN

You calling me a liar?

Ted, while not backing down, massages the situation.

TED

No, I'm not saying you're lying. I'm saying you accidentally forgot that what you first said was five hundred.

Man has never been challenged like this by a fuckin' bellboy.

MAN

I don't do anything accidentally, jerk. I might've first said five hundred, but what I last said was three hundred, and what you say last is what counts.

Ted not only doesn't back down, but psychologically pokes his finger in the scary Man's chest.

TED

Well then, if you say five hundred one last time, we got a deal.

Man's eyes narrow. He physically pokes his finger in Ted's chest.

MAN

You fuckin' with me, Pendejo?

Now Ted takes a step backwards.

TED

No, not at all. It's New Year's Eve and I'm here alone. If there was somebody else here, no problem, but I'm by myself. And looking after your kids is a pain in the ass I don't need –

MAN

You callin' my kids a pain in the ass?

TED

 – No, they're not a pain in the ass, it's the situation that's a pain in the ass.

Man drops the tenseness.

MAN

No, you were right the first time. You win, tough guy, five hundred.

Man respects Ted for not backing down, but not insulting him either. A skill Man never learned. Wife shoots a look at the children.

WIFE

(disgusted)

You kids are getting expensive.

Juancho turns back to the TV.

Sarah stares down Wife.

MAN

(looking at name tag)

What's your name? Ted?

CLOSEUP of name tag.

TED

Yeah. It's Ted.

Man tears off Ted's name tag and throws it to children.

MAN

(to the children)

His name is Ted. If you need anything, dial 0 and ask for Ted.

Sarah catches the name tag and reads the name on it: "TED – BELLHOP."

Sarah looks up at Ted. She clips the pin to her dress and smiles shyly at him.

Man puts the money in Ted's pocket and then grabs his ear, pulling him close.

MAN

(deadly whisper)

If something happens to my children, I wouldn't want to be you.

WIFE

Make sure they're in bed before midnight.

TED

(thinking)

Before midnight? Then should I wake them up for the countdown to the New Year?

Wife looks disgusted.

WIFE

No...

As Man and Wife exit, he turns to the kids and says:

MAN

Don't misbehave.

Man closes the door.

INT. HALLWAY

Man and Wife book it down the hall before Ted can change his mind.

ROOM 716

Ted is standing facing the door the Man and Wife just disappeared through. He turns around slowly to face the children.

His eyes are wide. His face is quiet. Stern.

The children are staring at him.

TED

Okay. These are the rules. Don't break the rules and I won't break your necks.

The kids look at each other.

TED

(smiling)

I always wanted to say that. Someone said that to me when I was a kid.

Sarah laughs at his joke.

TED

Except they were joking. I'm not.

Ted goes to the door.

TED

The rules are simple. Don't do anything you wouldn't do if your parents were here. If there's an emergency, call me on the phone, like your dad said.

SARAH

That's not what he said.

Ted's surprised by a challenge this early in the game.

SARAH

He said to call if we need anything.

TED

Well, I've got a lot of work to do and I can't have you calling me every time you want a drink of water, so please limit your calls to emergencies only.

SARAH

We paid you five hundred dollars. We'll call you if we need anything. You don't want to upset my dad.

TED

Okay. Please. Try to call only when necessary. Watch TV, and if you're good, I'll bring up some milk and cookies. Bye.

Ted leaves.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY

Ted walks briskly down the hall, counting his money the whole way.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM 716

Juancho takes off his socks and shoes and throws them onto the floor. Sarah looks at the discarded shoes and socks.

CLOSE ON the shoes and socks.

Sarah looks over at Juancho's bare feet. Her nose twitches.

SARAH

Your feet stink.

Juancho smells his feet.

JUANCHO

They don't stink.

Sarah throws his shoes and socks behind her. They land on the bed.

Juancho is flipping channels and finds an interesting show.

JUANCHO

Check it out. T & A.