Four Rooms

Sarah realizes he found a Nudie station.

SARAH

Change it. You're not supposed to watch this.

JUANCHO

We're supposed to watch TV.

SARAH

Not this kind of TV. Change it.

Juancho rolls up in a ball, the remote tucked in some recess of his stomach.

Sarah hits him, then goes to the phone. She punches 0, sits on the bed, and checks the name on the name tag pinned to her shirt.

CUT TO:

FRONT DESK

Ted walks up to the front desk just as the phone rings.

TED

Front desk.

INT. ROOM 716

Sarah is taking off her white winter tights.

SARAH

Ted? Hi. It's me, Sarah. You're our sitter for tonight.

TED

Oh, Jesus, what did I tell you? I said if you don't bother me, you'll get milk and cookies. Now, do you want them or do you not?

SARAH

I want you to turn off the Nudie station in our room.

Ted checks the computer.

TED

(reading stats on room 716)

I can't turn on an adult station without permission from your parents.

SARAH

No.

(struggling with winter tights)

Not turn it on, turn it off. It's already on.

TED

That's not what the machine tells me.

SARAH

Well, stop listening to the machine and listen to me. There's naked ladies dancing on my TV and I want 'em off.

TED

If you're good, you'll get milk and cookies, so leave me alone, please. I'll be up later to put you both to sleep.

He hangs up.

ROOM 716

Angry, Sarah slams down the phone. She has an unusually adult temper. We know where she gets it from. She looks up and sees that the nudies are still in full force.

SARAH

Change the channel, now!

Juancho turns around. He has a face like someone just laid a fart in his nose.

JUANCHO

Man, you're the one with the stinky feet.

Sarah smells her feet. Twice.

SARAH

They don't stink.

JUANCHO

Yeah, they do.

SARAH

Here, smell for yourself.

She sticks her foot out for Juancho to smell. He's reluctant. Fearful.

SARAH

Go ahead.

He slowly, very slowly... climbs onto the bed and lowers his head to her foot. Very slowly.

Sarah waits until he's close enough to her foot before she kicks him in the face, sending him somersaulting off the bed and crashing to the floor.

She grabs the remote control he left behind and changes the channel to a cartoon.

Juancho gets up and realizes his defeat. He decides to wander about. Looking for something to do...

Sarah tries to ignore him as he stalks the room. It's only a matter of time before he finds mischief.

Juancho sees the champagne bucket and Bingo!, he goes for the bottle.

JUANCHO

(holding up the bottle)

Hey, get a bottle opener!

Sarah opens her mouth, as if about to tell him to leave the champagne alone. She stops herself when she realizes she wants some champagne too.

She quickly scrambles about for a bottle opener while Juancho unwraps the bottle top.

Sarah opens the dresser drawer with such force that a few hidden contents long forgotten in the back of the drawer slide forward.

Some coins, a paperclip, and a hypodermic needle. She looks down at the needle that lays beside the Gideon Bible and casually picks the phone back up and punches 0. The phone rings.

FRONT DESK

Ted, bucket of ice in his hand, gets ready to go to room 404. As he crosses the desk, the phone rings. He looks at the board and see room 716's light blinking. He sighs in exasperation.

INT. ROOM 716

Sarah sees Juancho shaking the champagne bottle violently.

SARAH

Don't shake it!

(into phone)

Ted? Hi. It's me. Sarah.

TED

Yeah. Who died? No one? Then don't call me.

SARAH

I thought I'd tell you that your cleaning ladies are doing a bum job. There's all kinds of leftover stuff around here.

Sarah picks up the needle and rolls it over in her hand several times.

SARAH

Needles and things. We're not supposed to have needles here, are we? I mean, they don't come with the room, do they? Send someone up here to clean this place up right.

The champagne bottle explodes all over Juancho. He looks surprised.

SARAH

(to Juancho)

I TOLD YOU NOT TO SHAKE IT!

(to Ted)

I gotta go. My brother just exploded the champagne all over the room. Oh, and bring us a couple of toothbrushes. There's a card in the bathroom that says you'll bring free toothbrushes if we ask for them.

She hangs up.

A frustrated Ted hangs up the phone. He walks briskly to the elevator.

Sarah and Juancho are pouring themselves champagne. They turn up the television and drink. Juancho shudders at the taste, but tries to drink as much as Sarah.

Sarah clearly doesn't like it, but tries to pretend she does.

Sarah picks up an instruction card near the phone to see how to make room-to-room calls.

SARAH

I'm calling another room, give me three numbers.

JUANCHO

4-0-9.

Sarah punches in the room number. The phone rings.

She holds the needle up to the light to examine it.

SARAH

Hello? Hi. You don't know me, and I don't know you, but... do you have any needles? We've got needles here and I was wondering if they come with the room or not. Don't have any? Thanks. Just checking.

She hangs up.

Juancho puts down his champagne glass and searches his father's coat pocket. He finds a pack of cigarettes and takes one out. He puts it in his mouth and pretends to smoke.

Sarah checks out the hypodermic needle carefully. She has an idea.

MONTAGE:

In the bathroom, Sarah seeks out her mother's lipstick.

ROOM 716

Sarah stands atop the chest of drawers and uses the lipstick to draw a bull's-eye on one of the hotel art paintings. She writes numbers next to each circle representing points.

Juancho is standing at the foot of the bed, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, as he practices his dart-throwing technique.

SARAH

(pointing out the rules)

The center is the bull's eye, 100 points, this one's 10 points, this one's 20 points.

WHACK! The needle lands an inch from her face in the 20-point slot.

SARAH

Hey, wait a minute. Let me get out of the way!

Sarah, a little tipsy now, grabs the needle and staggers to the bed. She hears the key in the doorway and throws the needle into the curtain to hide it.

Ted enters the room, somewhat disheveled from his encounter with Sigfried. He has a tray and a new bottle of champagne.

He puts the champagne bottle into the empty bucket. He spots the original bottle lying on the floor half empty and dripping into the carpet.

TED

I brought you some milk and cookies. If you want some you have to eat them now, because you're going to sleep.

SARAH

We're going to sleep now?

TED

Your parents said put you to bed before midnight. Well, it's before midnight. Maybe that way you'll leave me alone.

SARAH

Those aren't milk and cookies.

TED

We were out of cookies, so I brought you milk and Saltines. Don't complain! Now hurry up and eat. You're going to bed right now.

Juancho bites into a Saltine. Sarah simply examines one.

JUANCHO

These are old.

SARAH

They're stale.

TED

(impatient)

Dip 'em in the milk! The milk will make them soft.

Sarah gives up and throws the cracker back onto the tray. She's a little drunk.

Ted picks up the ruined champagne bottle.

Juancho dips his crackers and eats them. He makes a face and drops a soggy cracker onto the tray.

TED

No crackers? Okay, fine. Sleepy time. Now, I don't want you guys wandering around, so if you need to go to the restroom, go now.

They go to the bathroom. Ted sits on the bed. Waits.

He sees the painting on the wall but can't figure out what's different about it. The red lipstick blends right into the aesthetic value of the painting.

Ted smells something funny. He looks down and sees the socks on the bed. He grabs a fork from the tray and uses it to throw the socks across the room.

The kids come back out.

JUANCHO

What about our pajamas?

TED

You wanna look nice in case there's an earthquake, don'tcha?

The children nod.

TED

Okay. Then stay in those clothes.

The kids lie on the bed.

Sarah notices a jar of Mentholatum ointment on the dinner tray.

SARAH

What's that?

TED

Oh, this is just some Mentholatum ointment. Come on, under the covers. Close your eyes and I'll tell you a story.

The children close their eyes. Ted opens the jar of the ointment and sniffs it. Strong stuff by the look on his face.

TED

Your dad says he doesn't trust babysitters. I don't blame him. You know what my babysitter did to me once?

(confiding)

I never told my parents, either.

The children lie in the bed, eyes closed, listening intently.

Tep dips his fingers in the jar of vaporous ointment.

TED

I hated going to sleep. You know, it's nighttime and you wanna run around and act crazy. So what my babysitter did to make sure I'd go to sleep and not be tempted to get up, was, she'd take some of this vapor rub stuff... Can you smell this?