Four Rooms

ANGELA

Six hundred.

CHESTER

Six hundred. Ted, do you know how long it takes the average American to count to six hundred?

TED

No.

CHESTER

(laying another bill on the pile)

One minute less than it takes to count to seven hundred. You know, Ted, a person's life is made up of a zillion little experiences.

(he lays another bill on the pile)

Some, which have no meaning, are insignificant and you forget them. And some that stick with you for the rest of your natural life—

(he lays another bill on the pile)

 – barring Alzheimer's of course. Now, what we're proposing is so unusual, so outside the norm, that I think it would be a pretty good guess that this will be one of those experiences that sticks. So, since you're gonna be stuck remembering this moment for the rest of your life, you gotta decide what that memory will be.

 (he lays down the last bill on the pile)

So, are you gonna remember for the next forty years, give or take a decade, how you refused a thousand dollars for one second's worth of work, or how you made a thousand dollars for one second's worth of work?

LEO

Time!

CHESTER

Well, Ted, what's it gonna be?

Ted looks at the pile, then looks up. We dolly into his face.

FLASHBACK

We see a quick MONTAGE of horrendous moments from all the other stories.

INT. PENTHOUSE – NIGHT

Back to Ted.

TED

Okay.

The group cheers.

TED

But when it's over, no matter what happens, I get the money?

CHESTER

As long as you do your part, you can take the pile, walk out the door, and not say another word.

TED

Let's do it right now, before I change my mind.

NORMAN

Here, here.

Everybody gets in their position by the bar. Norman lays his left hand on the block of wood with his pinky sticking out.

In his right hand is his Zippo lighter, poised and ready to strike.

Chester hands Ted the meat cleaver.

Ted takes it, raises it up above Norman's finger, in position.

CHESTER

Perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect! This is great! This is a moment in time none of us will ever forget.

Everybody is crowded around the scene, on pins and needles.

CHESTER

Norman, you ready?

NORMAN

Ready!

CHESTER

Ted, you ready?

TED

Ready.

CHESTER

Okeydoke. Norman, begin.

Norman looks hard at the Zippo in his hand. Ted, holding the cleaver, stares focused on Norman's pinky.

Norman readies himself.

Places his thumb on the wheel in the Zippo.

Takes a breath.

And strikes.

It sparks, but doesn't light.

Without missing a beat, Ted brings down the cleaver, slicing off Norman's pinky.

Norman lets out a scream.

Ted, in one move, lays down the cleaver, scoops up the money and walks out the door.

INT. HALLWAY – AFTER DAWN

CAMERA is positioned at far end of hallway, looking down it at the elevator at the other end.

Ted walks out of the penthouse in the f.g. In a MEDIUM SHOT, he takes the

thousand dollars in his hand, looks at it, smiles, and sticks it in his pocket. It might've been a bad night, but it's been a profitable one. He chuckles at the irony, and, whistling a happy tune, turns his back on the camera and walks down the hall to the elevator.

All the while we hear PANDEMONIUM breaking out behind the door.

As Ted walks to the elevator, the CREDITS ROLL. He waits for the elevator, it arrives, he gets in, the doors close.

As CREDITS CONTINUE TO ROLL, we hold for about two beats... then...

The door BURSTS open and everybody comes piling out. Everybody's screaming, yelling different things to one another. Norman has a bloody towel wrapped around his hand, he's screaming and crying.

NORMAN

My finger, my fucking finger!!

Chester has the bucket of ice with the finger in it. Leo's trying to direct everything. Everybody's in frantic activity, except for Angela, who stands back, drinks her drink, and watches the show. They all run down the hall, toward the elevator. Somebody trips and they all hit the ground. The bucket of ice with the finger goes spilling. They run around like crazy, looking for the finger and picking up ice cubes. Norman lies on the floor and screams. They pick it all up, get to the elevator, and push the button.

When it arrives, they all dive in except for Angela.

ANGELA

You know, I'm gonna call it a night and go back to my room. It's been fun.