Full Metal Jacket

JOKER

Oh. You mind if we tag along, sir?

TOUCHDOWN

No problem. Welcome aboard. By the way, my name's Schinoski. Walter J. Schinoski. My people call me Mister Touchdown. I played a little ball for Notre Dame.

JOKER

Notre Dame?

TOUCHDOWN

(laughing)

Yeah.

JOKER

All right!

TOUCHDOWN

You here to make Cowboy famous?

JOKER

Ha! Never happen, sir.

TOUCHDOWN

Well, if you people came looking for a story, this is your lucky day. We got Condition Red and we're definitely expecting rain.

JOKER

Outstanding, sir. We taking care of business?

TOUCHDOWN

Well, the N.V.A. are dug in deep. Hotel Company's still working this side of the river. Street by street and house by house. Charlie's definitely got his shit together. But we're still getting some really decent kills here.

JOKER

We heard some scuttlebutt, sir, about the N.V.A. executing a lot of gook civilians.

TOUCHDOWN

That's affirmative. I saw some bodies about half a click this side of Phu Cam Canal.

JOKER

Can you show me where, sir?

TOUCHDOWN

Here's the canal...

EXT. MASS GRAVE – DAY

Joker stands looking down into a large open grave at a row of white, lime-covered corpses.

JOURNALISTS, MARINES and CIVILIANS are grouped around the grave.

A work detail leans on their shovels, their faces covered with bandanas against the stench.

JOKER (V.O.)

The dead have been covered with lime. The dead only know one thing. It is better to be alive.

Joker approaches a young lieutenant – CLEVES.

JOKER
Excuse me. Good morning, Lieutenant.

LT. CLEVES

Good morning.

JOKER

I make it twenty. Is that the official body count, sir?

LT. CLEVES

(sharply)

What outfit are you men with?

JOKER

Sir, we're reporters from Stars and Stripes.

LT. CLEVES

(warms up)

Oh, I see.

JOKER

I'm Sergeant Joker and this photographer's Rafterman.

Rafterman starts shooting pictures of the Lieutenant.

LT. CLEVES

I'm Lieutenant Cleves. I'm from Hartford, Connecticut.

JOKER
Have you got a body count, sir?

LT. CLEVES

We think it's twenty.

JOKER

Do you know how it happened, sir?

LT. CLEVES

Well, it seems the N.V.A. came in with a list of gook names. Government officials, policemen, ARVN officers, schoolteachers. They went around their houses real polite and asked them to report the next day for political re-education. Everybody who turned up got shot. Some they buried alive.

A MARINE COLONEL who has been watching Joker turns from the group around the grave and strides up. Joker snaps to attention.

COLONEL
Marine!

LT. CLEVES

Colonel.

COLONEL

Marine, what is that button on your body armor?

JOKER

A peace symbol, sir.

COLONEL

Where'd you get it?

JOKER

I don't remember, sir.

COLONEL

What is that you've got written on your helmet?

JOKER

"Born to Kill," sir.

COLONEL

You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?!

JOKER

No, sir.

COLONEL

You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you!

JOKER

Yes, sir.

COLONEL

Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.

JOKER

I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.

COLONEL

The what?

JOKER

The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.

COLONEL

Whose side are you on, son?

JOKER

Our side, sir.

COLONEL

Don't you love your country?

JOKER

Yes, sir.

COLONEL

Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?

JOKER

Yes, sir!

COLONEL

Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.

JOKER

Aye-aye, sir.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. FIELD – DAY

Joker and Rafterman Walk through a field toward a pagoda.

EXT. PAGODA – DAY

Marines are moving supplies. Some men are resting on the ground. A helicopter flies overhead.

Music: Sam the Sham's "Wooly Bully."

JOKER
Hey, bro, we're looking for First Platoon, Hotel two-five.

MARINE

Around the back.

Joker and Rafterman walk to the back of the building.

JOKER
(to another marine)

First Platoon?

MARINE

Yeah, through there.

INT. PAGODA COURTYARD – DAY

Through a moon-door opening on to the pagoda courtyard, We see Cowboy shauing. Other marines are sprawled around the courtyard walls.

Joker walks up behind Cowboy.

JOKER
Hey, Lone Ranger.

COWBOY

Holy shit!

JOKER

You old motherfucker.

COWBOY

It's the Joker.

JOKER

What's happenin'?

They hug each other.

COWBOY

Boy, I hoped I'd never see you again, you piece of shit!

JOKER

(laughs)

What's happening, man?

COWBOY

Oh, I'm just waiting to get back to the land of the big PX.

JOKER

Yeah? Well, why go back? Here or there, samey-same.

COWBOY

Been getting any?

JOKER

Only your sister.

COWBOY

Well, better my sister than my mom, though my mom's not bad.

Cowboy leads Joker to the center of the courtyard.

COWBOY
This is my bro Joker from the Island. And this is...

JOKER

Rafterman.

COWBOY

... Rafterman. They're from Stars and Stripes. They'll make you famous.

Adlibs of "All right!"

COWBOY

We're the Lusthog Squad. We're life-takers and heartbreakers.

Adlibs.

COWBOY

We shoot 'em full of holes and fill 'em full of lead.

Adlibs of "Yeah!" etc.

A big grunt, ANIMAL MOTHER, approaches Joker.

Trouble.

ANIMAL MOTHER

Are you a photographer?

JOKER

No... I'm a combat correspondent.