Friends六人行 第二季英文剧本(41-50页)

RACHEL: Ok, we never shoulda talked about this.
PHOEBE: I'm just gonna pass on the concert, 'cause I'm just not in a very Hootie place right now.
RACHEL: Me neither.
JOEY: Me too.
MONICA: Guys, we bought the tickets.
PHOEBE: Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.
CHANDLER: Why did you look at me when you said that?
MONICA: Well, I guess now we can't go.
RACHEL: What? Come on, you do what you want to do. Do we always have to do everything together?
MONICA: You know what? You're right.
PHOEBE: Fine.
ROSS: Fine.
JOEY: Fine.
CHANDLER: Fine.
RACHEL: Fine.
MONICA: All right. We're gonna go. It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then.
ROSS: Chandler!
CHANDLER: Yeah?
ROSS: Geez! Are you ready?
CHANDLER: Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
ROSS: Whoa! You had sex today?
CHANDLER: Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. I was awesome, ok? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming.
ROSS: Wow.
CHANDLER: Now I know it's been awhile, but I took it as a good sign.
(phone rings)
ROSS: Still doing the screening thing?
CHANDLER: I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again.
MACHINE: Here comes the beep, you know what to do.
JADE: Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
CHANDLER: Bob here.
JADE: Oh, hi.
CHANDLER: So, uh, you met someone, huh?
JADE: Yes, yes, I did. In fact, I had sex with him 2 hours ago.
CHANDLER: So, uh, how was he?
JADE: Eh.
CHANDLER: Eh?
JADE: Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name.
CHANDLER: Well, that makes me feel so good.
JADE: It was just so awkward and bumpy.
ROSS: (silently mouthing) Bumpy?
CHANDLER: Well, maybe he had some kind of uh, new, cool style, that you're not familiar with. And uh maybe you have to get used to it.
JADE: Well there really wasn't much time to get used to it, you know what I mean?
(at the concert)
MONICA: You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
ROSS: Yeah, I know, it's my birthday. We all should be here.
CHANDLER: So, let's go.
ROSS: Well maybe, you know, maybe we should stay for one song.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
MONICA: You know, the guys are probably having a great time.
(at Monica and Rachel's)
JOEY: Come on you guys, one more time.
PHOEBE: Ok. One.
JOEY: Nooo.
MONICA: That was amazing!
ROSS: Excellent, that was excellent.
CHANDLER: I can't believe the guys missed this.
ROSS: What guys? Oh, yeah.
STEVE: Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you?
MONICA: Do I know you?
STEVE: You used to be my babysitter.
MONICA: Oh my god, little Stevie Fisher? How've you been?
STEVE: Good, good, I'm a lawyer now.
MONICA: You can't be a lawyer. You're eight.
STEVE: Listen, it was nice to see you. I gotta run backstage.
MONICA: Uh, wait, backstage?
STEVE: Oh, yeah, my firm represents the band.
ROSS: Ross.
CHANDLER: Chandler.
STEVE: How are you? Look, you guys wanna meet the group? Come on. So, are you one of the ones who fooled around with my dad?
(at Central Perk)
ROSS: Hey, you guys.
RACHEL: Happy birthday.
ROSS: Oh, thank you, thanks. So uh, how was your night last night?
RACHEL: Oh, well, it pretty much sucked. How was yours?
MONICA: Yeah, ours pretty much sucked, oh, but, I did run into little Stevie Fisher. Remember him?
RACHEL: Oh yeah. I used to babysit him. Hey, how's his dad?
MONICA: Uh, good.
ROSS: Uh, aside from that, the whole evening was pretty much a bust.
CHANDLER: Yeah, we really missed you guys.
JOEY: Yeah, look, we were just saying, this whole thing is really stupid.
PHOEBE: We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey?
MONICA: No, I just, I fell down.
RACHEL: On someone's lips? Where'd you get the hickey?
MONICA: You know, a party, or--
RACHEL: What party?
ROSS: It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band.
JOEY: You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
CHANDLER: Yes, apparently Stevie and the band are like this.
RACHEL: Who gave you that hickey?
MONICA: That would be the work of a Blowfish.
RACHEL: Oh!
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
ROSS: Look, don't blame us. You guys coulda been there, you know.
RACHEL: What, as part of your poor friends outreach program?
(Monica's pager goes off)
MONICA: It's work.
CHANDLER: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it.
JOEY: And we don't work hard?
MONICA: (on phone) Yeah, hi, it's Monica. I just got a page.
CHANDLER: I'm just saying that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more.
JOEY: And you feel like we hold you back.
CHANDLER: Yes.
RACHEL: Oh!
CHANDLER: No.
MONICA: Leon, Leon. Shhh! Guys. Wait, I don't understand. Those steaks were just a gift from the meat vendor. That was not a kick back. I'll just replace them and we can forget the whole thing. What corporate policy? No. Yeah. All right. I just got fired.
PHOEBE: Oh.
(Everyone goes over to comfort Monica)
WAITRESS: Here's your check. That'll be $4.12.
JOEY: Let me get that. (to Chandler) You got five bucks?
MACHINE: Here comes the beep, you know what to do.
JADE: Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night...
(Joey lunges for phone and misses.)
END
________________________________________
206 The One With the Baby on the Bus
[Scene: At Monica and Rachel's.]

MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?

ROSS: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are.

MONICA: Maye it's me.

ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.

CHANDLER: You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.

ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)

MONICA: There's my little boy. (Ben starts crying again)

CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)

JOEY: Cool.

MONICA: He hates me. My nephew hates me.

ROSS: Come on, don't do this.

MONICA: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?

CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.

(Chandler has a basketball which he is moving closer to, then away from, Monica)

JOEY: Goo, goo, goo, waaah!

MONICA: That is so funny. Let me see that. (throws the ball out the window)

JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?

ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie?

MONICA: Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi--

ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.

MONICA: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.

ROSS: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.

MONICA: No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and--oh my god.

ROSS: Ugh.

MONICA: Oh my god.

ROSS: Ugh. It's definitely getting worse.

MONICA: Is your tongue swelling up?

ROSS: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.

MONICA: All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital.

JOEY: Is he gonna be ok?

MONICA: Yeah, he's just gotta get a shot.

ROSS: You know, you know, actually it's getting better. It is. It is. Let's not go. Anyone for Thcrabble?

MONICA: Jacket now.