Friends六人行 第二季英文剧本(101-110页)

ROSS: OK, well, um, have a nice evening.
RACH: Um, Russ, you ready?
RUSS: Yeah.
RACH: Bye.
MNCA: Bye.
PHOE: Bye.
[Russ and Rachel leave together.]
ROSS: [upset] She's dating. She's dating.
CHAN: Yes, yes, but did you see who she was dating?
ROSS: What do you mean?
MNCA: Do you not see it?
ROSS: See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence.
CHAN: Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?
ROSS: ....................Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
CHAN: Hey.
JOEY: Hey.
CHAN: Whoa, whoa, so I'm guessing you didn't get the part, or... uh, Italy called and said it was hungry.
JOEY: Well, the part's mine if I want it.
CHAN: Oh my God!
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
CHAN: [not knowing how to react] Oh my... God?
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
CHAN: So, what're you gonna do?
JOEY: Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that?
CHAN: Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.
JOEY: I've never slept with someone for a part.
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
JOEY: Sorry.
CHAN: It's alright. Is she good-looking?
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
CHAN: Didn't you used to call it the Little Major?
JOEY: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
[Scene: A restaurant. Fun Bobby and Monica are ordering.]
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
MNCA: Yes, I would like something. [looks at Fun Bobby, changes her mind] No, no thank you.
FBOB: If... if you want to drink, it's OK with me, I've got to get used to it.
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
FBOB: So the light went out in my refrigerator...
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
CHAN: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium.
RUSS: Dysprosium.
ROSS: [condescendingly] Dysprosium? Try mendelevium.
CHAN: And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues.
[Phoebe and Rachel are at the counter talking.]
PHOE: You don't see it? You actually don't see it?
RACH: What?
PHOE: OK honey, you're dating Ross.
RACH: No, Phoebs. I'm dating Russ.
PHOE: Russ is Ross. Russ... Ross!
RACH: Steve... sleeve!
PHOE: OK, noone is named Sleeve.
RACH: Phoebe, what the hell are you talking about? Other than their names being similar, I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing.
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]
ROSS: [to Russ] For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark.
RUSS: You could not be more wrong. You could try... but you would not be successful.
CHAN: OK, I'm gonna get some more coffee before the pinching and eye-poking begins.
RUSS: I know what your problem is.
ROSS: Oh you do, do you?
RUSS: Um-hum, you're jealous.
ROSS: Of... of what?
RUSS: You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
RUSS: Hey, you listen.
ROSS: No, no, let me finish.
RUSS: No, let me finish.
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
[Rachel walks up behind them.]
ROSS: Hi.
RUSS: Hi.
RACH: Ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww! [turns away]
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
RACH: Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left?
CHAN: No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
RACH: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
CHAN: Me.
RACH: Why would I have to sleep with you?
CHAN: It's my game. You want the job or not?
[Monica enters from her bedroom.]
CHAN: Hey.
MNCA: Morning.
ROSS: Where ya goin'?
MNCA: Bobby and I are going away for the weekend, remember?
ROSS: Ooooohhhh.
[Monica pulls out a bag full of airline bottles of liquor.]
PHOE: What's with all the bottles of liquor?
ROSS: What's going on, is... uh, Bobby drinking again?
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
[Three slow knocks on the door.]
RACH: Oh God, even his knock is boring.
[Monica answers the door. Its Fun Bobby.]
MNCA: Hi. I'll be ready in just a second.
FBOB: Uh, can I talk to you a minute?
MNCA: Sure.
[They both step out into the hall.]
FBOB: This is really hard for me to say.
MNCA: Oh God, you fell off the wagon.
FBOB: Oh, no, no, it's about you.
MNCA: What about me?
FBOB: I think you may have a drinking problem.
MNCA: What these? [holding up liquor bottles] Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes.
FBOB: Look, I am just not strong enough to be in a codependent relationship right now, OK?
MNCA: Oh... shoot.
FBOB: Well, anyway, I hope we can be friends.
MNCA: OK.
[They hug and kiss.]
MNCA: Take care.
FBOB: You too.
[Fun Bobby leaves and Monica goes back inside.]
RACH: What happened?
MNCA: Well we... we kinda broke up.
GANG: Awwwwwwww.
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
MNCA: [holding bottles] Does anybody want these?
CHAN: I'll take one. Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant.
[Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
GANG: Hey!
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
JOEY: It was unbelievable! I walked in there and she was all over me.
CHAN: So what'd you do?
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
ROSS: Good for you.
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
PHOE: So... and?
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
GANG: Allright!
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
[Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler exchange money again.]
Credits [Scene: Central Perk. Russ enters. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
RUSS: Hi.
CHAN: Oh, hey.
PHOE: Hi.
RUSS: I guess you guys heard, Rachel dumped me.
CHAN: Yeah, I'm sorry man.
RUSS: Oh, all she said was that I remind her too much of somebody. You have any idea who she's talking about?
[Chandler and Phoebe feign ignorance.]
PHOE: Oh I do, it's.... it's Bob Saget. She hates him.
RUSS: Oh.
[Julie... Ross's ex-girlfriend... enters.]
JULIE: Hey.
CHAN: Hey!
PHOE: Hey, Julie! Hey, how are you doing?
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
[Russ and Julie look at each other with love in their eyes. The music builds...]
END
________________________________________
211 The One With the Lesbian Wedding
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
ROSS: Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!
CAROL: So how did everything go?
ROSS: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
CAROL: Well, we've gotta go.
ROSS: Ok.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
CAROL: Oh, right. Um, I've got some news. It's about us.
ROSS: Oh, you and me?
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
SUSAN: The other us.
ROSS: Ok.
CAROL: We're uh, we're getting married.
ROSS: As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
CAROL: Anyway, we'd like you to come, but we totally understand if you don't want to.
ROSS: Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
CAROL: Look I just thought that...
ROSS: No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? I'm revelling baby, believe me!
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
ROSS: Mmm hmmm.
CAROL: Want us to go?
ROSS: Uh-huh.
[at Rachel and Monica's]
ROSS: This is so cool. You're actually gonna be on television.
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
MONICA: Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.
ROSS, CHANDLER & JOEY: Yes!
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
ROSS: Would it matter?
MONICA: Oh, you are so great! [kisses him] Thank you!
JOEY: Are you really not going?
ROSS: I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?