Friends六人行 第二季英文剧本(171-180页)

RACHEL: I know.

ROSS: [on the phone] Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.

CHANDLER: Well maybe he was nervous.

[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross is fixing a display, Rachel is waiting patiently.]

ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.

RACHEL: It's OK, it's fine.

ROSS: KARL!

[Ross leaves to find Karl. Rachel takes a peek under the loincloth of one of the display models.]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]

MONICA: Wow, is that Michelle?

DR. BURKE: Yep.

MONICA: I've not seen her since high school graduation. Oh my God, that night she got so dru. . . motional.

DR. BURKE: Ya know, she's having another baby.

MONICA: I thought she just had one.

DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .

MONICA: Oh, you're a grandpa.

DR. BURKE: Yeah. Are we nuts here?

MONICA: I don't know, maybe. I mean I'm dating a man who's pool I once peed in.

DR. BURKE: I didn't need to know that. I guess 21 years is a lot. I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you.

MONICA: Yeah.

DR. BURKE: So.

MONICA: So maybe we should just. . .

DR. BURKE: Yeah, yeah, maybe.

MONICA: Wow, this really sucks.

DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]

MONICA: Well, we don't really have to decide anything right now, do we?

DR. BURKE: No, no, there's no rush or anything.

[knock at the door]

DELIVERY GUY: Pizza delivery.

MONICA: Oh, I'm gonna kill those guys.

[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]

ROSS: Rach.

RACHEL: Oh.

ROSS: I'm done.

RACHEL: Yeah well, you know what, so is uh, Sorentino's.

ROSS: Wha, OK, I'm sorry, let's uh, why don't we find someplace else.

RACHEL: No, you know what, it's late, everything's gonna be closed. Why don't we just do it another night?

ROSS: No, no, we won't.

RACHEL: We won't?

ROSS: [grabs a fur pelt] C'mon.

RACHEL: OK, that's dead right?

[Scene: The museum planetarium. Ross and Rachel enter on stage.]

RACHEL: What is this? What are we doing?

ROSS: Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape?

RACHEL: Grape.

ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]

RACHEL: Oh, God.

[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]

ROSS: Sorry.

RACHEL: Ah, so what are we looking at?

ROSS: Well uh, you see that, that little cluster of stars next to the big one? That is Ursa Major.

RACHEL: Really?
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.

RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss]

ROSS: You're not laughing.

RACHEL: This time it's not so funny.

[They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.]

RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK.

ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box.

RACHEL: Oh, thank God.

[Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.]

ROSS: Hi.

RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you.

ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah.

RACHEL: What?

ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them]

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.]

[they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off]

JOEY: Is that the fire alarm?

CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time.

JOEY: Cool.
END
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216 One Where Joey Moves Out

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]

JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?

CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.

[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]

CHANDLER: Waaa-aaah.

JOEY: What?

CHANDLER: The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put.

JOEY: Yeah, so.

CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?

JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.

CHANDLER: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.

JOEY: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?

CHANDLER: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.

JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]