Friends六人行 第二季英文剧本(181-190页)

PHOEBE: OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?

RACHEL: No.

PHOEBE: OK, who is the boss of you?!!

RACHEL: You?

PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!

[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]

RICHARD: How ya doin'?

MONICA: I'm a twinkie.

RICHARD: Really? I'm a hero.

MONICA: Oh, this is so hard.

RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.

MONICA: Maybe we should just tell your parents first.

RICHARD: My parents are dead.

MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.

RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.

MONICA: Alright.

RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.

MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.

[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]

MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.

MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?

MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.

MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.

MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.

MRS. GELLER: Really.

MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.

MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?

MR. GELLER: Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.

MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.

MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]

JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.

CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.

JOEY: Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love.

CHANDLER: Well it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.

JOEY: Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinkin' about it.

CHANDLER: What?

JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.

CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.

JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.

CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.

JOEY: Well that's how I feel.

CHANDLER: Well then maybe you should take it.

JOEY: Well then maybe I will.

CHANDLER: Fine with me.

JOEY: Great. Then you'll be able to spend more quality time with your real friends, the spoons.

[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]

MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?

MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.

ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?

MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?

ROSS: Yeah.

MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.

ROSS: Eww.

[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]

MONICA: Hey there.

RICHARD: What?

MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.

RICHARD: Humm, really?

[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]

MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?

RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.

MRS. GELLER: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?

RICHARD: That - that's an idea.

MONICA: Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone.

MRS. GELLER: Oh?

RICHARD: Oh?

ROSS: Ohh.

MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?

ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?

MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?

MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.

MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?

MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]

MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I

MONICA: Mom, it's OK.

RICHARD: It is Judy.

MRS. GELLER: Jack. Could you come in here for a moment? NOW!

MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.

ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]

MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.

MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.

MONICA: Dad, I'm the twinkie.

MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?

RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.

MONICA: Al-alright, l-look you guys, this is the best relationship I've been in. . .

MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.

MONICA: Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man.

RICHARD: Really?

MONICA: Yes.

MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?

MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.

MR. GELLER: When did I say that?

MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.

[Everyone else enters and all start singing Happy Birthday.]

[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]

PHOEBE: Oh that looks so good, oh I love it.

RACHEL: I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours.

PHOEBE: Ahh. OK, let's see yours again.

RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.

PHOEBE: Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.

RACHEL: You didn't get it?

PHOEBE: No.

RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?

PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.

PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?

RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.