Friends六人行 第二季英文剧本(201-210页)

JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?

CHANDLER: Oh it's uh, over there on the table.

JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?

CHANDLER: No, Eddie likes to keep it over there.

EDDIE: Alright, here you go my friend. Eggs a-la Eddie, huh?

CHANDLER: Oh, ooh.

JOEY: Huh.

CHANDLER: What?

JOEY: No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me.

CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.

EDDIE: Well you guys, I'm outta here. See ya pals.

CHANDLER: See ya. [Eddie leaves]

JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?

CHANDLER: Oh, I couldn't be happier.

JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.

CHANDLER: There's another carton right over there.

JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.

CHANDLER: Alright, so what's it about?

JOEY: Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?

CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.

JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.

CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Monica are fighting over the remote.]

MONICA: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.

ROSS: Tough noogies, we're watching Predators of the Serengetti.

RACHEL: Would you guys stop.

MONICA: It's my TV.

ROSS: Wha-, oh, quit it.

MONICA: Bite me.

RACHEL: Oh my God.

ROSS: Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel.

MONICA: Oh that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me.

RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]

MONICA: OK, what're we gonna do about this?

ROSS: Well, I guess we could tape Entertainment Tonight.

MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.

ROSS: Ow, ow, OK. Alright, alright, Mon, Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, alright.

MONICA: I just can't stand you being here all the time.

ROSS: Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, ya know, we're just havin' fun.

MONICA: Fun? Fun, you think this is fun?

ROSS: Yeah, c'mon I mean I though, you know, I thought we're just foolin' around. Like when, uh, when we were kids.

MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.

ROSS: You hated me when we were kids?

MONICA: Yes. I hated you. I mean I, I, loved you in a 'you're my brother so I have to' kind of way, but basically, yeah, I hated your guts.

ROSS: Why did you hate me?

MONICA: Because, you were mean to me and you, you teased me and you always, always got your way.

ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?

MONICA: Duh-huh!

ROSS: I can't believe you hated me.

MONICA: Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to.

ROSS: Really?

MONICA: Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.

ROSS: I can do that.

MONICA: Then I won't have to kill you.

ROSS: So you wanna watch uh, Entertainment Tonight?

MONICA: Yeah, thanks. You know what?

ROSS: What?

MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.

ROSS: Ohh... OK. [changes the channel]

[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]

[Phoebe enters]

PHOEBE: Hey.

ALL: Hey.

PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.

ALL: No.

PHOEBE: Yes.

RACHEL: Well, how did you find out?

PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.

MONICA: So what're you gonna do?

PHOEBE: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.

MONICA: Sure.

PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.

ROSS: What woman?

PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.

RACHEL: OK, Phoebs. But what about you?

PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.

[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]

CHANDLER: Hey Eddie, you uh, wanna play some foosball?

EDDIE: No thanks man, I'm not uh, I'm not really into sports.

CHANDLER: [stares in disbeliefe] Yeah o-, OK, alright. [oven timer goes off] Doesn't matter, time for Baywatch.

EDDIE: Y-, y-, you like that show?

CHANDLER: You don't like that show?

EDDIE: Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know.

CHANDLER: Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the running.

EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.

CHANDLER: Oh o-, OK man.

[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]

[Chandler's. He's playing foosball by himself.]

[Joey's. Playing ping pong by himself.]

[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]