Friends六人行 第三季英文剧本(71-80页)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked man's life hangs in the balance!
Phoebe: I'm telling you he's dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, we're approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
(They thread the needle and start poking him, he then stirs.)
Phoebe: He's alive! He's a-live!!!
Monica: And yet, we're still poking him.
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Ross: He does not look happy.
Rachel: Hey-hey, now he's showing us his poking device.
Joey: Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
Closing Credits
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is listening to a Lionel Richie album]
Chandler: (singing) I'll hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I can't resist your charms. And love....
Phoebe: (joining him) Love....
Chandler and Phoebe:I'll be a fool for you. I'm sure, you know I don't mind.
Chandler: (high pitched) No you know I don't mind.
Chandler and Phoebe:Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh...
Chandler:I know.
Phoebe:I know.
Chandler:I've found.
Phoebe:I've found....
Chandler and Phoebe:...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they don't match tones, and they just look at each other)
End

309 The One With The Football

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there, the guys are watching football, the girls are cooking Thanksgiving dinner.]
The Guys: (reacting to a play) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Awww!
Phoebe: Hey, it's your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
The Guys: We will. (they don't move)
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles.
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monica's nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Monica: Every year.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: Y'know, for once, I am going to sit down and try to watch one of these things. (just as she sits down) .
Ross: Halftime.
Joey: Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going?
Rachel: Oh! That would be sooo much fun!
Phoebe: Oh, can I play too? I've never played football, like ever.
Joey: Great, you can cover Chandler.
Chandler: No, no, no, I don't, I don't really wanna play.
Joey: Come on man! You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up.
Chandler: That's not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don't say that I don't have goals!
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe it'll take your mind off Janice, and if you don't play, everyone will be mad at you 'cause the teams won't be even. Come on.
Chandler: Yeah, all right, I'll play.
Phoebe: Yay!!
Rachel: Let's do it! Ross?
Ross: What?
Rachel: Do you wanna play football?
Ross: Um, Monica and I aren't supposed to play football.
Joey: Says who? Your mom?
Monica and Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Well, every, every Thanksgiving um, we used to have a touch football game called the 'Geller Bowl.'
Chandler: No, no, no, you say that proudly.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kind've competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Ross's nose.
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Monica: To score the winning touchdown, by the way.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, you did not win the game, the touchdown didn't count, because of the spectacularly illegal, oh and by the way savage nose breaking.
Monica: (to Chandler and Joey) I won the game.
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didn't get the Geller Cup?
Rachel: Um, there was a Geller Cup?
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, 'nobody won that game, ' and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
Chandler: And was the curse lifted?
Ross: Anyway. That's when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, it's been twelve years.
Ross: Can I see you for a second?
(they walk over to the sink and discuss it for a moment)
Monica: (shouting) Once!!
Ross: All right, we're gonna play.
Chandler: But wait a minute though, how are we gonna get there, though, because my Mom won't let me cross the street.
[Scene: The Park, the gang is warming up for their football game.]
Monica: Okay. Let's bring it in.
Rachel: Wait no, honey, honey throw it to me, throw it to me.
Ross: Here you go. (throws her the ball)
Rachel: (knocking it down instead of catching it) That almost hit me in the face.
Joey: All right, we have to pick captains.
Chandler: And then Tineals.
Phoebe: Okay, so how do we decide that?
Monica: Well, why don't we just bunny up.
Rachel, Chandler, and Joey: What?
Monica and Ross: (holding both of their hands above their heads making rabbit ears with their fingers.) Bunny!
Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: Monica, I'm your best friend.
Ross: Sweetie, don't worry you'll get picked. Chandler.
Rachel: Ross!
Monica: Phoebe.
(Phoebe kisses Rachel on the cheek, then joins her team.)
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Rachel: You don't pick me! You're stuck with me!
Ross: Okay. All right. So let's see, let's play from the trash can, to the lightpost. Right. Two hand touch, we'll kick off.
Monica: All right people listen, I've got exactly twenty-eight minutes before I have to baste again.
Chandler: Wow! Just like in the pros.
Monica: Huddle up.
Joey: (to his team) All right, huddle up, right over here.
Phoebe: Wait for me! Wait for me! Wait for me! Oh cool, this is my first huddle.
Monica: Okay.
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you guys really think of Chandler?
Monica: Okay, Phoebe you know what you're doing right?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Monica: Okay, Joey's gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Phoebe: What's block?
Monica: Phoebe, I thought you said you know what you're doing?
Phoebe: I thought you meant in life.
Monica: Break.
(Chandler is getting ready to kick off, Ross is holding the ball between his foot and finger.)
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Ross's foot instead.)
Ross: Oww!! Son of a...!! Ow! Come on!
Chandler: Sorry. I'm sorry. Y'know what, we're just gonna throw it.
(Chandler throws the ball to kick-off.)
Joey: I got it. (catches the ball)
Phoebe: Go! Go! Go!
(Joey runs up field and fakes out Ross and scores a touchdown. His team all celebrates the touchdown.)
Monica: Score!! 7 to nothing!
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
Ross: Come on, let's go!
Monica: Losers walk!
Ross: Yeah, losers talk!
Chandler: No, no, no, actually losers rhyme.
[cut to later, Ross's team has the ball.]
Chandler: (coming up under center, just like a real quarterback does, and puts his hands between Ross's legs.) Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! (Ross stands up and looks at him) You wanna go shotgun?
Ross: Yeah!
Chandler: (from the shotgun) Hike!
Monica and Joey: One-Mississippi. Two-Mississippi. Three-Mississippi.
(Rachel runs a quick slant.)
Rachel: Over here!
(Chandler throws her the ball, which she drops.)
Rachel: (proud of her self) I almost caught that one!
Chandler: Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7.
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Rachel: Wait, what am I gonna do?
Ross: You, you go long.
Rachel: Wait, how long?
Ross: Until we start to look very small.
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Break!!
[cut to later, Monica's team has the ball.]
Joey: Set....hike!
Ross: One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, switch! Switch! Switch!!
Chandler: No, no, no, no, no!
(Monica throws the ball over Joey's head, it's stopped from rolling away by a very beautiful woman.)
Joey: Haaaaa! Hey-hey, thanks for stopping our ball.
Woman: (in a foreign accent) You are playing American football?
Joey: Yeah! Wow, your like from a whole other country.
Woman: I'm Dutch.
Joey: Hi-hi, I'm Joey.
Woman: I'm Margha.
Joey: I'm sorry Dutch, I didn't get that last little bit.
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, I'm Chandler.
Margha: Hello, Chandler.
Joey: Her name is Dutch, and also Marklan.
Margha: Margha.
Joey: Mar-klan.
Margha: Mar-gha.
Chandler: Mar-haaaan.
[cut to Ross and Monica.]
Monica: Come on guys! Let's go! Come on, it's second down.
Ross: Uh, hello, it's third down.
Monica: No it's not, it's second.
Ross: Wow!
Monica: Wow, what?
Ross: It just amazes me that your still pulling stuff like this.
Monica: Pulling what? It's second down.
Ross: Okay, it's second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
Monica: I heard that!
Ross: Well, I said it loud.
[cut to Chandler, Joey, and Margha.]