Friends六人行 第三季英文剧本(171-180页)

Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Rachel: Yeah. Ahh, here's a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)
Ross: What?!
Rachel: Oh, y'know, it's just like hats, and a shirt, and CD's, just sort of stuff that you've left here.
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something?
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know it's time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean don't' you think?
Ross: Yes.
Rachel: Yeah?
Ross: Yes, I do.
Rachel: Good.
Ross: Yeah, I-I really do. (takes a dinosaur mug out of the box) Hey! This-this was a gift?!
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
Ross: It's still a gift! I got it from the gift shop!
Rachel: Okay, all right, give me the mug! I'll keep the mug.
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know don't do me any favours. In fact, where, where's the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? I'd like that back too. Yes, I do.
Rachel: You know how much I love that T-shirt! You never even where that T-shirt!
Ross: I'm just trying to help you, move on.
Rachel: Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty....
Ross: Petty...
Rachel: Petty... (goes into her room)
Ross: Petty...
Rachel: Petty...
Ross: Petty...
Rachel: Small...
Ross: Small... (Rachel comes back into the living room and catches Ross mocking her.)
Rachel: You are so just doing this out of spite.
Ross: Awwwahuh, no, no, no!!
Rachel: Huh?
Ross: I'm-I'm gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! (he kisses the shirt)
Rachel: You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesn't even fit you anymore!
Ross: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...
Rachel: (imitating him) yeah-yeah-yeah!!
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. It's an old 'Frankie says relax' T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you don't mind I'm gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
Phoebe: So, you're like a zillionaire? (Pete smiles and nods)
Chandler: And you're our age. You're our age.
Phoebe: Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Pete: What like Pete Dakota?
Phoebe: Yeah, or, or, or, Mississ-Pete.
Joey: Oh, oh, I got it! Pete-Chicago.
Chandler: That's not a state Joe.
Joey: Oh, and Mississ-Pete is?
Pete: I got to go, so ah, I'll see you guys later.
All: Okay.
Chandler: You're our age!
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, I'm running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where there's no future? Either they're too old, or they're too young, and then there's Pete who's-who's crazy about me, and who's absolutely perfect for me, and there's like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like something's wrong with me?!
Phoebe: Yeah, kinda.
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing for the play.]
Kate: Happy?! Is that what I'm supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: Well, why don't you tell me what you're supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell can't figure it out! I talk to you and nothin'. You look at me, and it's nothin'. (He kisses her) Nothing.
The Director: Tasty! I'm really starting to feel like you guys have a history, it's-it's nice.
Kate: I have a question about this scene.
The Director: Yes?
Kate: Well, I don't understand why Adrienne's attracted to Victor.
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, he's good looking.
Joey: Yeah.
Kate: I think my character's gonna need a little bit more of reason than that.
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, it's says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I don't know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that you're a bitch.
Kate: It doesn't say that in the script.
Joey: It does in mine!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Ross are returning from working out.]
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesn't matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. It's so annoying. Does it bug you?
Ross: You bug me.
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Chandler: Is there any chance you didn't see that?
Commercial Break
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
Chandler: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You can't just stare through the peep hole for three hours! You're gonna get peep eye!
Ross: I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, she'd say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Chandler: You didn't just break up.
Ross: Hey, it's been like three weeks!
Chandler: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean bullets have left guns slower!
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, I'm gonna kill myself, I swear. I can't, I can't watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, she's going in.
Chandler: Okay.
Ross: She's going in. Wait! He's going in! He's going in!! The door's closed! I, I can't see anything but the door closed!!
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
Chandler: Stop what?!
Ross: I don't know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will do it. I'll go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!!
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Chandler: No!! You can't!!
Ross: Look, they must be stopped!
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
Ross: I need juice! People need juice!!
Chandler: Look man!
Ross: People need juice!
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
Ross: Juice, I need...
Chandler: She's moving on! Okay, if it's not this guy, it's gonna be somebody else! And unless you're thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? It's over.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Okay.
Ross: It's just I miss her so much.
Chandler: I know. (He rubs Ross's head)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is pouring Mark some coffee.]
Mark: Why do all you're coffee mugs have numbers on the bottom?
Rachel: Oh. That's so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, 'Where's number 27?!'
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesn't react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Rachel: Y'know what?
Mark: No. And I don't think I'm gonna want to.
Rachel: I can't do this.
Mark: Yep. Yep, that's what I didn't want to know.
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? I'm just doing it to get back at Ross. I'm sorry, it's not very fair to you.
Mark: Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here!
Rachel: Oh God. I'm sorry about this.
Mark: That's okay.
Rachel: You sure?
Mark: Yeah. I can just go home and get back at him by myself.
[Scene: A Hospital Reception, Monica and Pete are there.]
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
Pete: (to Monica) Hey, can I ask you something?
Monica: Sure.
Pete: Where are we?
Monica: (looks around) Well, with all these doctors and nurses, I'm gonna say, midget rodeo.
Pete: Just tell me the truth.
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I don't think, I don't think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
Pete: Oh, yeah. Wasn't that like a year ago?
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isn't the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now I'm just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Pete: Oh, yeah. I know that.
Monica: I so wanna be attracted to you.
Pete: But you're not. Okay, good.
Monica: I'm sorry.
Pete: Y'know what, don't be. This is not, don't be, 'cause it's not so bad.
Monica: It's not?
Pete: I know I'm no John Bon Jovi, (Monica laughs) or someone who find attractive, I'm just, I think, y'know, that you might end up feeling differently.
Monica: Well, um, look I-I don't want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasn't attracted too.
Pete: Yeah, stupidly charming isn't' it? Well listen let's, you wanna get something to eat? 'Cause this place is kinda depressing. (they start to leave)
Spokeswoman: And the man who made all this possible... Mr. Peter Becker.
Pete: (to Monica) One second.
(He takes the scissors, cuts the ribbon, shakes her hand, posses for the picture, and leaves.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: I don't think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
(Joey enters.)
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasn't doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she's like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Chandler: Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.
Joey: God, I just, I hate her! I hate her!! With her, 'Oh, I'm so talented.' and 'Oh, I'm so pretty,' and 'Ooh, I smell so good.'
Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know?
Chandler: I'm talking about you. You big, big freak.
Joey: Oh. (realises) Ohh. Ohh, you're out of your mind.
Chandler: Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard you'd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!
Joey: Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff huh?!
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate and Joey are rehearsing the same scene as before.]
Kate: Happy?! Is that what I'm supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: Well, why don't you tell me what you're supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell can't figure it out! I talk to you and it's nothin'. You look at me, and nothin'. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
The Director: You guys make me fly! High! Okay, we're gonna pick it up here, tomorrow.
Kate: Well, that was ah...
Joey: Better?
Kate: Yeah! Yeah, it was definitely an improvement. G'night.
Joey: Ah, Kate?
Kate: Yeah?
Joey: You ah, you forgot your shoes.
Kate: (she giggles) I'm probably gonna need those. Huh? (she giggles some more)
Joey: Hey, listen you ah....
Kate: Hmm?
Joey: ...feel like getting a cup of coffee?
Kate: Umm.
The Director: (leaning in) Kate?
Kate: Yep.
The Director: You ready to go?
Kate: Yeah.
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
Kate: So umm, I'll see you tomorrow, huh?
Joey: Yeah, yeah sure, goodnight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isn't it Spiderman? Y'know like Goldman, Silverman...
Chandler: 'Cause it's-it's not his last name.