Friends六人行 第三季英文剧本(181-190页)

Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Ross and Rachel: Ahhhh!!
Chandler: (entering) Hey, my Father's house does that!
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and there's nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Rachel: Hmm.
Chandler: Of course, I didn't get to enjoy any of that, because Joanna's such a big, dull dud!
[Scene: Rachel's office, Joanna's telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Rachel: What?!
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Y'know how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
Rachel: Oh, I....
Joanna: Oh, and he's got such a good heart! Doesn't he have a good heart?
Rachel: Oh, I know...
Joanna: Oh, I know and he's soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
Sophie: Isn't this great?!
Joanna: Don't spoil it.
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]
Joey: Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say?
[A phone rings.]
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! It's you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Joey: (to Kate) That guy's like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater you're dating.
Joey: Hey, I'm not interested in her sweater! It's what's underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who I'm going out with?
Kate: I don't care. Why, do you want me to care?
Joey: Do you want me to want you to care?
Kate: Do you?
Joey: What?
The Director: (returning) Okay, I'm afraid to say this, but let's pick it up where we left off.
[They resume rehearsing.]
Joey: Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say?
Kate: I've got no reason to stay.
(Joey grabs her and kisses her.)
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! I'll see you in the morning. (exits)
Kate: I can't believe we go on in, in a week.
Joey: Hey, it's gonna be all right.
Lauren: (to Joey) Hey! So since we're getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs?
Joey: What?
Lauren: You know! At the place I told you about last night?
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Lauren: Oh, okay.
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Lauren: I'll see you tomorrow. (she kisses him full on the mouth.)
Joey: Okay.
Lauren: G'night. (exits)
Joey: (to Kate) Ah, are you okay?
Kate: Yeah, I guess. Look, what are we gonna do about this scene, huh?
Joey: I don't know.
Kate: Well umm, maybe if it had more heat.
Joey: How do you mean?
Kate: Well, Adrian's looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor can't just kiss her, he's gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Kate: Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist.
Kate: And then she could rip off his shirt and kiss his chest, and, and his stomach!
Joey: And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
Kate: And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this raw, animal....
[cut to Joey's bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
Joey: Something like that?
Kate: Yeah, that's pretty much what I had in mind.
Joey: Yeah.
Commercial Break
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very happily.]
Joey: (to Ross) Hey.
Ross: Hi.
Joey: (to Monica) Hey.
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
Ross: Hi.
Joey: Hey.
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
Ross: It's a little early to be drinkin'.
Joey: No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
Ross: Ohhhhh!
Monica: You're kidding?! That's great!
Joey: Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...
Monica: Oh my.
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming 'cause, 'cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like he's been processed by the devil, or something.)
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) I'm telling ya, Joanna's got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, 'This was fun. Let's do it again sometime. I'll give you a call.'
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks you're going to call her?
Chandler: That's what you say at the end of a date.
Rachel: You can't just say, 'Nice to meet you, good night?'
Chandler: To her face? Look it's the end of the date, I'm standing there, I know all she's waiting for is for me to say 'I'll call her' and it's just y'know, comes out. I can't help it, it's a compulsion.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call. Hasn't it ever happened to you?
Rachel: Well, they always called.
Monica: Hmm, bite me.
[Scene: Rachel's office.]
Joanna: (entering) Did he call?
Rachel: No. Sorry.
Joanna: Why?! Why?! He said he'd call. Why hasn't he called?
Sophie: Maybe he's intimated by really smart, strong, successful women.
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasn't he called, Rachel? Why?
Rachel: Okay, okay. Umm, well ah, maybe he, maybe he feels awkward because you are my boss.
Joanna: Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
Rachel: Well...
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didn't tell him not to call me, did you?
Rachel: No. I...
Joanna: Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Rachel: (grabbing the magazine out of his hands) Call her! Call her now!
Chandler: Multiple, so many paper cuts.
Rachel: Why hasn't he called Rachel? Why? Why? I don't understand. Why? He said he'll call. Why? Why? Chandler I'm telling you she has flipped out, she's gone crazy!
Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, well give me the phone then.
Rachel: Come on, this isn't funny. She thinks it's my fault that you haven't called her. You have to call her!
Chandler: Look, you can't call somebody after this long just to say, 'In case you didn't notice, I don't like you!'
Rachel: Well then you're going to have to take her out again.
Chandler: Nooo!! She's really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Rachel: I don't care! I don't care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows it's actually ended. And, I don't care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Chandler: All right! Fine! But it's just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I don't want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Rachel: That's fine!
Chandler: That's just a lot of big talk, y'know.
Rachel: I know.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Mon?
Monica: (from the bathroom) I'm in the shower!
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebe's dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
Ross: Oh, fire! There, there's a fire! Fire!!
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesn't work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesn't work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Joey: Hey.
Kate: Hi.
Joey: So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall?
Kate: About what?
Joey: Y'know, about what happened with us.
Kate: Nooo. And there's really no reason he should find out, so ah let's not make a big deal about it, okay?
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you can't tell me last night didn't mean something to you. I-I was there, you're not that good an actress.
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. That's all it was. Joey, I'm-I'm sorry you feel bad, but haven't you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Joey: Nooo.
Lauren: (entering) Hi, Kate!
Kate: Hi, Lauren.
Joey: Hi, Lauren.
Lauren: Hi, pig!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Ross: Sorry I ah, I scared you in there.
Monica: Oh, that's okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Ross: Yeah.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. There's....been a fire.
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Phoebe: All right. Did everyone get out okay?
Monica: Well, the giraffe's okay. And so is the pirate.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Ross: No Phoebe, don't look! You don't want to see what's under there!!
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
[Scene: Rachel's office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: It's not a big deal. It's, just it's right here, (points to his eye) and it's all the time.
Joanna: Well, thanks again for lunch.
Chandler: (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Joanna: It was, wasn't it?
Chandler: The food there was, was great.
Joanna: Wasn't it?
Chandler: So take care.
Joanna: You too.
Chandler: Well, this was great. I'll give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Joanna: Great! I'm looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Rachel: Sophie's desk.
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
Rachel: (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!
Chandler: Noo!
Rachel: Chandler!!
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm weak, and pathetic, and sorry.
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and you're going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
Chandler: Ahhhh -- I'm not going to call you.
Joanna: What?
Chandler: I'm sorry. I'm-I'm-I'm sorry that I said I was going to when I'm not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isn't Rachel's fault. It's me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And I'm really sorry, it's just that this is not, this isn't going to work out.
Joanna: Well, this isn't how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
Chandler: Yeah, o-okay.
Joanna: So...
Chandler: Well this is great! I'll give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)