Friends六人行 第三季英文剧本(191-200页)

Chandler: Yes, here it comes! I'm stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I don't think so mister!
Joey: Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day!
Chandler: And you don't think taking care of our chick is work?
Joey: That's not what I said. Okay, I just meant...
Chandler: I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, we've been fighting a lot more than we used too?
Joey: I don't know, maybe we weren't ready to have a chick.
Chandler: I'll take her back tomorrow.
Joey: Do you think we'll get our three bucks back?
Ross: (entering carrying a garment bag) Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
Joey: Well, the brown one brings out your eyes, but your butt looks great in the blue one.
Ross: Really? (Joey gives him a 'Like I would know' look)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Ross: Wow! That aspirin dance really works!
Rachel: (She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
Rachel: I'm fine, I'm fine.
Ross: No you're not.
Rachel: Yes I am!
Ross: Rach!
Rachel: Look, I'm fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Ross: (stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?
Rachel: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. It's a very big deal, there's a lot of people there I have to meet.
Ross: And I'm sure you're gonna make a big impression. Hi! I'm Rachel Green. It's nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Rachel: Well, I will go to the hospital tomorrow, it'll still be broken then.
Ross: Rach...
Rachel: But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready.
Ross: Rachel...
Rachel: Look, either help me or go.
Ross: Fine. I'll go.
Rachel: (with a hurt expression on her face) Okay, but before you go, could you help me first?
Ross: (He checks his watch) Sure. I'll help you.
Chandler: (rushing in) Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!
Commercial Break
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Rachel: (She drops the brush) Y'know what? I cannot do this with my left hand! Would you please, help me with this too?
Ross: Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesn't like how it tastes.)
Rachel: (taking the brush back) Okay. Let's use this brush. (Hands him another one.)
Ross: Okay. This stuff?
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: All right.
Rachel: Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.
Ross: Oke-dokey. (He pokes her in the eye with the brush.)
Rachel: Oh-ho!
Ross: Sorry.
Rachel: Hey! That's just poking me in the eye!
Ross: Sorry, I'm sorry. Close, close, close...
Rachel: Okay, just sweep it.
Ross: I'm sweeping...
Rachel: Right.
Ross: Sweep, sweep.... (He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
Rachel: Okay, now make it even, 'cause we don't...
Ross: What? What?
Rachel: We don't want it-it to be too much, we want it to be subtle.
(Of course it's too late for that.)
Ross: No. No, y'know you don't, you don't wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
Rachel: Since when, since when do you think I don't wear enough of this?
Ross: Well I, close your eyes, I just think you're gonna like this a little better, 'cause, close-close... (He gets some more on the brush)
Rachel: Blow it.
Ross: (blows it) Sorry. 'Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
Rachel: Sophisticated like a hooker?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is entering, Phoebe is already there.]
Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Hey, guess what I'm doing tonight.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: I'm checking out the restaurant with Pete.
Phoebe: Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.
Monica: I know.
Phoebe: Ooh, I have to tell you something.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: But I can't tell you.
Monica: Okay, but wouldn't it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.
Phoebe: Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to like all my gods.
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed?
Phoebe: No, but let's come back to that later!
[Scene: Rachel's Bedroom, Ross is finishing up her make-up.]
Ross: There you go! Good enough for your party, huh?
(She turns and looks in the mirror, and it's way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)
Rachel: Sure.
Ross: Yep?
Rachel: Sure, I'll just sit next to the trans-sexual from purchasing.
Ross: Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Ross: (checks his watch) Sure, okay.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, great! Umm, okay, just turn around.
Ross: What?
Rachel: I don't want you to see me naked!
Ross: Rachel, I've seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different. Y'know? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think it's weird.
Ross: Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.
Rachel: What?
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!!
Rachel: Ross! Stop that!
Ross: Ah, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that any more!
Ross: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. It's one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Ross: Okay, okay, I'm sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and I'm the king.
Rachel: Rosss...
Ross: Come on, would you grow up? It's no big deal.
Rachel: All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
Ross: Yowzah!!!
Rachel: O-kay!! See what you did, I'm gonna be doing it by myself now. Okay?
Ross: Aww, come on.
Rachel: That's it. (She crawls onto the bed) Ow!!!
Ross: Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh-ow!
Ross: All right.
Rachel: Ow!
Ross: Look...
Rachel: Ow!
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: Ow!
Ross: Rach?
Rachel: Ow! Ow!
Ross: Easy. Easy. You have to go to the hospital. Okay?
Rachel: Okay, I do.
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: I really do.
Ross: Okay, I'm gonna get your coat and then I'll-I'll put you in a cab.
Rachel: Okay. Oh wait, wait-wait, you're not gonna come with me?
Ross: (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Okay? (goes into the living room)
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Ross: (rushing back in) What?! I wh-, what's wrong?
Rachel: I'm sorry, I just can't go to the hospital lookin' like this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is trying to find out what Phoebe won't tell her.]
Monica: Does it involve travel?
Phoebe: Noo!
Monica: Does it involve clogs?
Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait. Clogs, or claws?
Monica: Clogs.
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Claws?!
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Okay, so it doesn't involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
Phoebe: (Shaking her head yes) No!
Monica: What is it?! What about Pete?
Phoebe: I don't know! (frantically points at Monica)
Monica: Okay, I feel like I'm talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me!
Phoebe: I can't!!
Monica: Okay, I gotta go. (gets up)
Phoebe: I, but you're so close! No!
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Pete's computer company?
Phoebe: Oh, just go. You're never gonna get it!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. He's on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. It's watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
Chandler: I know. See, yes. That's Yasmine Bleeth, she's a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: (sees he's watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Chandler: I did! But the store wouldn't take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesn't want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
Chandler: If they can't find a home for her, they kill her! And I'm not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Joey: Okay, good, good, good, 'cause, good, 'cause I was kinda having second thoughts too.
Chandler: Okay. And it's not just chicks y'know? It's all kinds of other animals!
Joey: That's horrible! Well, you did the right thing man.
Chandler: Thanks, I'm glad you see it that way.
(He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know what's with the duck.)
Chandler: Ohhh-hoo, funny story!
[Scene: Pete's Restaurant's Kitchen, Pete is showing Monica around the kitchen.]
Monica: I don't believe this! Wow, look at this refrigerator! It's gigantic! I mean I could live in this thing! I'd be cold, but I'm always cold. Oh my God, look at these spider burners! I love spider burners.
Pete: So you like it?
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
Pete: Oh, you're welcome. (He takes a deep breath)
Monica: Did you just smell my hair?
Pete: Nooo. Uh-huh, no way. What? No.
Monica: Oh God.
Pete: What?
Monica: You still have feelings for me don't you?
Pete: Now, nooo! I'm just excited about the restaurant, that's all.
Monica: Pete.
Pete: Okay, I love you. Is that so bad?
Monica: No, it's not bad. It's not bad at all. It's-it's really nice.
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And I'm okay with that.
Monica: You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. That's why I can't take this job.
Pete: What?
Monica: And well, we probably shouldn't see each other anymore. I'm sorry.
Pete: Okay, yeah. I mean... If that's, if that's really what you want, okay.
Monica: Okay, bye.
(She kisses him on the cheek, and he kisses her back on the mouth.)
Pete: I'm sorry things didn't work out...
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)