Friends六人行 第四季英文剧本(11-20页)

Joey: Nope.

(Phoebe enters.)

Chandler: (jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!

Phoebe: No. I’m-I’m to depressed to talk.

Chandler: I’ll give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.

Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?

Chandler, Monica, and Joey: NO!!!

Rachel: All right, that’s it, you guys! What happened out there?

Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me.

Ross and Rachel: Come on!

Ross: What happened? Joey?

Joey: All right. (gets up)

Monica: (stopping him) No! Joey, we swore we’d never tell!

Chandler: (running over and joining Monica) They’ll never understand!

Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! It’s eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.

Monica: (interrupting) All right!! All right. (walks slowly into the living room) I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn’t stand. I-I couldn’t walk.

Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didn’t think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monica’s shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)

Monica: I was in too much pain.

Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole!

Chandler: And then Joey remembered something.

Joey: I’d seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...

Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!

Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!

Monica: You can’t say that!! You-you don’t know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldn’t...bend that way. So... (looks at Joey.)

Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!

Joey: That’s right I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I’d pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldn’t. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.

Chandler: (wails loudly into his hands) Joey kept screaming at me, “Do it now! Do it!! Do it! Do it now!!” Sometimes late at night I can still here the screaming.

Joey: (laughs) That’s ‘cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]

Phoebe: (singing) “...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm.” (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.

Phoebe Sr.: I’ll go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasn’t been a day where I didn’t regret giving you up.

Phoebe: Okay, bye.

Phoebe Sr.: No, I’m not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didn’t look you up was, well I was afraid that you’d react, just well like, the way, the way you’re reacting right now, and can’t we just, y'know, start from here?

Phoebe: No.

Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. I’m family, I’m it. Now, now I’m done. (starts to leave)

Phoebe: But, it’s not like we’re losing anything. Y'know?

Phoebe Sr.: Yeah, I guess you’re right.

Phoebe: It’s not like we-we know each other or anything. Or that have anything in common.

Phoebe Sr.: Well, I don’t know. I mean it’s not like we don’t have anything in common. I mean I like uh, pizza.

Phoebe: I-I like pizza!

Phoebe Sr.: You do?! Wait, I like umm, the Beetles.

Phoebe: Oh my God, so do I!

Phoebe Sr.: I knew it, wow!!

Phoebe: Wait-wait-wait, wait! Puppies. Cute or ugly?

Phoebe Sr.: Ohh, so cute.

Phoebe: Uh-huh, well! But umm, still I’m-I’m mad at you.

Phoebe Sr.: I know. I’m mad at me too.

Phoebe: Well umm, do you wanna get something to eat? I’m kinda hungry.

Phoebe Sr.: Hey! Me too!

Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now you’re just doing it to freak me out.

[Scene: Rachel’s bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]

Rachel: Oh-hooo, I missed you.

Ross: I missed you too.

Rachel: Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much you’ve grown. Y'know?

Ross: (getting miffed) I suppose.

Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

Ross: (getting angry) Umm-hmm.

Rachel: Ooh, I just wish we hadn’t lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...

[cut to Monica cleaning the floor in the kitchen]

Ross: (yelling from the bedroom) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!

Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?

Monica: You bet.

[cut back to Rachel’s bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]

Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!

Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!

Ross: I didn’t know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn’t finish the whole letter!

Rachel: What?!!

Ross: I fell asleep!

Rachel: You fell asleep?!

Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means ‘you are,’ Y-O-U-R means ‘your!’

Rachel: Y'know I can’t believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!

Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)

Rachel: Oh, oh, and hey-hey-hey, those little spelling tips will come in handy when you’re at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica!!

Monica: Hey!!

Rachel: (to Monica) Sorry!! (to Ross) I just feel bad about all that sleep you’re gonna miss wishing you were with me!

Ross: Oh, no-no-no don’t you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter!!!

Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, it’s not that common! It doesn’t happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!

Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!

CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are playing cards at the dinner table.]

Monica: (sets down some cards) Gin.

Chandler: We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked.

Monica: Will you stop!

Chandler: Okay. All right.

Monica: Okay, all right, I think you’re great, I think you’re sweet, and you’re smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me.
END
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402 The One With The Cat
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]

Chandler: Wow! That ripped! That ripped real nice!

Joey: How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide.

Chandler: You don’t turn and slide, you throw it out! I’m tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!

Joey: Look, we’re not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!

Chandler: All right, how about we, how ‘bout we sell it.

Joey: All right. But, you’re gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)