Friends六人行 第四季英文剧本(151-160页)

Brits both crush their cans, and not to be out done, Ross crushes his coffee cup, spilling its contents.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is attempting his pre-emptive strike.]
Janice: Oh boy, I just love to sing!
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Janice: Oh, look at us! Who would’ve thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)
Chandler: (laughs) Okay, we have to talk. I’m just getting out of a very serious relationship…
Janice: I know! And I’m just getting out of a marriage, I mean talk about meant to be!
Chandler: Right! I just think that this is happening too soon.
Janice: Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
Chandler: I hear ya. (Pause) But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas!
Janice: Oh no! Where to? (Gasps) Too Paris?
Chandler: No! No! Not, Paris.
Janice:Too London? No-no, Rome? Vienna? Ooh-ooh, Barcelona?
Chandler: Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? (Thinks) Yemen. That’s right, yes, I’m being transferred to Yemen!
Janice: When?
Chandler: I don’t know exactly.
Janice: Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes.
Chandler: But I do know that it’s some time tomorrow.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are plugging in a bunch of electronics.]
Monica: Done?
Phoebe: Yep!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! What’s up?
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them don’t work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Rachel: Y’know, you-you also could’ve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
Monica: Yeah, well, I’m using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises it’s Joey.)
Rachel: It’s coming from Joey!
Phoebe: Oh my God, that’s so freaky! Turn him off!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. I’m watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I don’t know what the big deal is. I’m man enough to play this sport.
Joey: Dude, you’re not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Janice: (entering) Hey there Ross!
Ross: (shocked) Hey!
Phoebe: (whispering to Ross) Janice.
Chandler: Y’know uh, you didn’t really have to help me pack.
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didn’t really leave me much choice. Did you?
Chandler: Well, I-I thought I did but, I-I guess I did not!
Joey: Hey-hey, what’s going on?
Chandler: Oh, I’m packing. Y’know I’m-I’m packing ‘cause I’m moving to Yemen tomorrow.
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
(Janice runs into the bedroom.)
Chandler: I’m only going to pretend I’m moving to Yemen, it’s the only way I can get rid off her.
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, I’m gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. It’s a real space saver.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that ‘cause it makes me look taller.
Janice: Okay, Chandler, come on!
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I can’t believe you said you’d play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: Hey, I can handle it! All right?
Rachel: Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad.
Ross: That’s ‘cause-‘cause you’re mom’s dog kept-kept looking at me.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. That’s called a scrum, okay? It’s kinda like a huddle.
Ross: And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle?
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) They’re gonna kill you!
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Ross: Well, you should’ve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, he’s like Joe Rugby.
Phoebe: You’re kidding! And he plays rugby?! That’s so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So I’m gonna show her how tough I really am!
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re right, you are a tough guy. You’re the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! It’s not like he’s…Chandler!
Chandler: (from his bedroom) Thanks!
Ross: Look, don’t worry about me. Okay? I’ll just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. I’ll uh, I’ll be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
All: Oh!
Rachel: Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin’ at him.
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that one—Dude! They’re all huge!
Ross: They don’t look any bigger than me!
Joey: Well, maybe that’s because you’re closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Emily: I’m just going to say hi to the lads. All right?
Ross: All right.
Emily: Okay. (Goes to say hi to the lads.)
(A player comes over and picks up a ball in front of Phoebe.)
Phoebe: (to the player) Hi.
(The player stands up and smiles. Showing that he has no front teeth.)
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
(The referee blows the whistle and the players gather to start the game.)
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. I’ve got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe don’t know what he’s talking about.) Y’know, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally don’t know what you’re talking about.
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Joey: No.
Ross: You’ll see.
[Cut to Emily, Devon, and Liam]
Emily: Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, it’s his first time.
Liam: You don’t say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
(The scrum forms and the game is underway.)
Liam: Ross! Ross! Come on! Get in here! (Ross gets pumped up.) Ross! Come on!
(Ross walks over to the scrum, walks around a bit looking for a way to get into the scrum.)
Liam: Ross, come on! Get in the bloody scrum! Ross, get in!
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel’s, Monica is going over some plans as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: You…are…not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Monica: He asked you out?!
Rachel: No. But I was showing him some cufflinks and I felt his pulse.
Monica: Saucy!
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Monica: Electrical plans for the building.
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay should I be scared?
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Rachel: Wow! If only more people knew.
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Chandler: Y’know you, really didn’t have to take me to the airport.
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Y’know? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends don’t really seem to care too much that you’re leaving.
Chandler: Well, we’re really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.
Janice: On no! No! It’s not good-bye, I’m not leaving until you get on that plane.
Chandler: Okay. Then I guess it’s just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.
Ticket Counter Attendant: One ticket to Yemen?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, no. No, no, no, I just, I just need a pretend ticket.
Ticket Counter Attendant: I’m sorry sir, I don’t understand.
Chandler: What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
Ticket Counter Attendant: Are you travelling with a child?
Chandler: No. All right, y’know what, she’s (Points to Janice) gonna think that I’m handing you a credit card, but what I’m really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Ticket Counter Attendant: Ah, sir a ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we don’t take library cards.
Janice: What’s the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Chandler: (to the ticket agent) American Express?
[Scene: The rugby game, Ross is getting killed.]
Emily: I can’t believe they’re doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Phoebe: No offence but, y’know sometimes it’s hard to understand you, y’know with the accent, so…
(The whistle blows.)
Emily: That’s just halftime, there’s more of this.
(Ross limps over all covered in mud.)
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Emily: Right.
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
Emily: Okay.
Ross: Thanks. (When she’s gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think I’m dying. I really do.
Phoebe: Oh, poor baby.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
Ross: (whines "No.") That’s not true!
Phoebe: She’s right! You have to stop!
Ross: What? No! No, I’m not stopping. I’m Red Ross!
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, you’re gonna be Dead Ross!
Ross: I don’t care! I am not quitting! I insist on finishing this game!
Emily: All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
Ross: No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
Emily: No. That’s not what I’m saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.
Ross: I like that.
Emily: Yeah? Listen closely, Devon has got a weak ankle.
Ross: Huh?
Emily: One swift kick and he’ll back off.
Ross: All right, bad ankle, got it!
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesn’t wear a cup.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Emily: And uh, Liam, Liam’s got bad knees. You hit him right and he’ll go down like a lamp.
Ross: But-but, Liam’s on my team.
Emily: I don’t care! You just get him!
Ross: I’m gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! (Squeals like a madman.)
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel’s, Monica is reading a book as Rachel returns.]
Rachel: Hey!
Monica: Hi!
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that weren’t there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
Monica: Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought they’d brighten up the place. They do don’t you think?
(Rachel rips one of the wall and finds a huge hole underneath.)
Monica: No-no-no, no!
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesn’t have a hole underneath it.)
Monica: I know that there’s no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Look at this!
Monica: Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something!
Rachel: I don’t care! The wires have come loose in your head!
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
Rachel: And did you?!