Friends六人行 第五季英文剧本(111-120页)

Janice: So I'm asking you please, take a moment before you judge me.
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
(They all turn and glare at Ross.)
Ross: Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say…
Phoebe: You two will have very hairy children.
Ross: Okay, I didn't know you would say that.
Rachel: Ross! Janice?!
Joey: All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Phoebe: So are you actually gonna see her again?
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Ross: I am gonna see her again.
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is going through her purse as Rachel rushes in.]
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
Monica: My turn? What-what are you talking about?
Rachel: Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.
Monica: What?!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
Rachel: Well, I wouldn't know because I got so freaked out that I hung up the phone.
Monica: Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big…(Thinks)…ot.
Rachel: What?!
Monica: Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes.
Rachel: All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.
Monica: Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Phoebe: Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Ross: (entering) Hey guys!
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Yeah!
(Neither of them turns around from watching the chick and the duck look for the tasty treat.)
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
(They both turn around.)
Joey: What?!
Phoebe: Are you serious?!
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We…
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Phoebe: Ohh, tough call.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
Doug: But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)
Kara: So how do you kids like your coffee?
Monica: Oh, none for me. Thanks.
Chandler: Just a little bit of sugar.
Doug: Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)
(Doug and Kara go get the coffee.)
Monica: (To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?
Chandler: Oh, you get used to it.
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Chandler: So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal?
Monica: I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect.
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
Doug: (entering) Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. (Chandler does not laugh.) Did you hear what I said Bing?
Chandler: What?
Doug: The joke Bing. What's the matter with you?
Chandler: Well, I-I just didn't think it was funny sir.
Doug: Excuse me?
Chandler: Well, I just…
Monica: (interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.
Chandler: Really?
Monica: Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?
Chandler: I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.
Monica: I thought you could use the help.
Chandler: Coffee in a fight! (Does the laugh again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Rachel: Sure! Why?
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
Rachel: What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Chandler: (from his bedroom) All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?!
Monica: Sorry! I'm just—I'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!
Chandler: But we're not ready to tell yet!
Monica: I know! It's just that…ever since high school Rachel was the one person I told everything too. Y'know? I miss that so much now. She's my best friend.
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Hey! Hi!
Monica: Wh-wh-what are you doing here? (She tries to pull her shirt down to cover the fact that she's wearing men's boxers.]
Rachel: Well, I was actually—I-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.
Monica: Okay great!
Rachel: Yeah!
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Rachel: Oh! What a great way to earn some extra pocket money.
Monica: Y'know when I said to you earlier that I was at work umm, I'm at my new work.
Rachel: That's good enough. Right? (Pause.) Okay, well umm, I'm gonna go look at my books!
Monica: Okay.
Rachel: Okay.
Monica: I'll get back to my new job.
(Pause.)
Rachel: 'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)
(After she exits, Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Man, she is really gullible.
(Monica motions that it went right over Rachel's head.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Janice are sitting on the couch.]
Gunther: Here you go. (Serves them both some coffee.)
Ross: Thanks!
Janice: Actually, I should get going.
Ross: Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right?
Janice: Yes! Yes! You did!
Ross: Oh…
Janice: What is wrong now?!
Ross: This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then…
Janice: I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffee—ahh!! Ross, we need to talk.
Ross: Okay. Sometimes I feel…
Janice: No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.
Ross: Huh?
Janice: (starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
Janice: Well yeah!!
Ross: OH…MY…GOD!!
Janice: Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I am now.
Janice: Okay.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Umm, hi.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Ross: Dude, we got to talk.
Chandler: Okay.
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Chandler: Why would I be mad?
Ross: Well, because y'know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your uh, friend's ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to.
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Ross: Okay.
Chandler: I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!
Ross: All right.
Chandler: And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty (counts his money) seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it down—let's write it down!
End________________________________________
514 The One With Joey's Bag
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.]
Monica: I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica!
(Chandler picks up the timer being used and turns it to zero at which it chimes.)
Chandler: Oh! Look at that, time's up! My turn!
Monica: That was a half an hour?
Chandler: It's your timer.
(They change places.)
Monica: Y'know, I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages!
Chandler: All right, then massage me up right nice!
(She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.)
Chandler: Ah! Ahh!! Ahh!!
Monica: It's so good, isn't it?
Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
Monica: Say good-bye to sore muscles!
Chandler: Good-bye muscles!!
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I just—I didn't know what it was!
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
Ross: (walking up with Rachel and carrying coffee) Hey.