Friends六人行 第五季英文剧本(141-150页)

Steve: (walking up) Oh hey, Pheebs!
Phoebe: Hey!
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. (Walks away.)
(Ross turns and glares at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, my bad.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is getting some coffee as Joey enters. He's looking a little puffy, but that's probably from the large number of different color sweaters he's wearing.]
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: Hi! Wow! You look, you look…big.
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Rachel: Uhhh, yeah. But it's not obvious why.
Joey: Well look, I’m breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Katie: (entering) Hi!
Joey: Hey! Hiya!
Rachel: Hey! Hey, cute jacket!
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Rachel: Oh! Ow! (Joey motions, "You see what I mean?!")
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
Rachel: Whoa! (Laughs) Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. (She punches Katie back.)
Katie: Ohh, Joey has the nicest friends! (She punches Rachel.)
Rachel: Ohh, and the nicest girlfriend! (She retaliates.)
Katie: You're so sweet! (Punches Rachel yet again.)
Rachel: Ohh, you're so sweet! (She kicks Katie in the shin.)
Katie: Oww!!!! Joey, she just kicked me.
Joey: Huh.
Katie: Well? Aren't you gonna do something?
Joey: Uhh….
Katie: You'd better do something, or I'm gonna walk out that door right now! Well? Are you gonna?
Joey: Nah.
(She looks at Rachel and storms out. After she's left Joey hugs Rachel in thanks.)
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
Ross: (trying to get her attention) Phoebe?
Phoebe: (ignoring him and continuing her conversation) That's what I'm saying. (Laughs.)
Ross: (tapping her on the shoulder) Phoebe? Phoebe?
Phoebe: Ooh. (Turns to him.)
Ross: Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go?
Phoebe: No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something to eat! Okay?
(They go to the food table.)
Ross: So uh, what did you tell them about me?
Phoebe: Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy.
Ross: Ohh. (He cuts himself a piece of cake.)
Phoebe: But somehow you came off as the bad guy.
Ross: What?!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Ross: (trying a piece of cake) Ohh, this cake is really good!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, see? Things are looking up already!
Guest #2: (sees the cake) Oh my God! Someone cut Howard's cake! (Ross tries dumping it into a nearby plant.) Who would do a think like that?
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
Steve: 3-B!
All: Oh yeah, aww!
Steve: Okay, you got your free food! You ruined everyone's fun! Don't you think it's time you went home?!
Guest #3: Yeah, leave!
All: Yeah, get out! Now!
Steve: Go back to 3-B, 3-B!
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross and Phoebe have been banished to Ross's place.]
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Ross: Oh wow, yeah! See, I did not get that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler comes running in. Everyone else is already there.]
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Monica: (raising her hand) I'm Monica.
Chandler: I need to talk to you, it's urgent!
Monica: Okay.
Chandler: Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, well I guess there's only one-one way to do this. (He slowly and awkwardly gets down on one knee.)
Monica: Wait what-wh-wh-what are you doing?!
Chandler: (getting out a ring box) Monica…
Monica: No-no, don't-don't-don't do it!
Chandler: Will you marry me?
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
Ross: Oh-no. No. No.
Joey: What a bad idea!
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)
Monica: Chandler, why are you doing this?
Chandler: I don't know. But I know I'm not afraid to do this.
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: I'm doing this because I'm sorry?
Monica: Do you umm, you really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry?
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
Monica: (kneels with him) Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm kinda wishing everyone wasn't here right now.
Monica: Honey! Do you know that none of that stuff came from me?! I mean I never said I wanted to have babies and get married right now!
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey?!
Ross: Hey!
Joey: She's right y'know.
Ross: Yeah, but still, cheap shot!
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Chandler: I didn't think I was!
(They hug.)
Monica: Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes?
Chandler: Well I would've been happy because I would've be able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love. Or, you would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in that door. (Points at the door.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Everyone is there.]
Joey: Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife?
Ross: No, I will not!
Joey: Oh, it's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it.
Ross: You're right, I'm sorry. Will you marry me?
(They all laugh.)
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
Chandler: Okay, how long is this going to go on.
Monica: Well I think the length of teasing is directly related to how insane you were so, a long time.
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
Chandler: That's not funny.
Joey: That's not funny at all!
(They all get up and leave.)
End
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517 The One With A Cop
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are sitting on one of the chairs doing a crossword puzzle.]
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Monica: Hey!
Joey: What are you guys doing up?
Chandler: Oh, we wanted to finish the crossword before we went to bed. Hey, do you know a six-letter word for red?
Joey: (thinks) Dark red.
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Monica: (checks to see if it works) Yes, you are so smart! (Kisses him.)
Joey: Aww, you guys are so cute!
Monica: I know.
Joey: All right, I'll see you in the morning.
Chandler and Monica: Okay.
[Scene: Joey's bedroom, time lapse. He's asleep and dreaming. In his dream he's doing the crossword puzzle with…wait for it…Monica!]
Dream Monica: Y'know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you honey!
Dream Joey: Aww, me too. Now let's finish this and go to bed.
Dream Monica: Okay! There's only one left, three letter word, not dog but…
Dream Joey: Cat.
Dream Monica: Yes! You are so smart! (Kisses him.) I love you.
Dream Joey: I love you too.
(They hug.)
[Cut back to Joey in bed, he's smiling, enjoying the dream as he wakes up. Suddenly, he realized what he was dreaming about and bolts upright in bed.]
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Rachel: (looking at the bill) Uhh, we still need a tip.
Phoebe: All right. Hold on. (She starts digging in the chair.) I got it. Nickel! (Donates it.) How much more do we need?
Rachel: A couple of bucks.
Phoebe: Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!
Monica: Wow!
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Rachel: Phoebe, I bet somebody's missing that badge.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Joey: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Chandler: Hey!
Rachel: Hey Joey!
Monica: Hey.
Joey: (To Monica) Hey. That uh, that my sweatshirt?
Monica: Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?
Joey: Well uh, it's just that uh, y'know if-if you're gonna be wearing someone's sweatshirt shouldn't it be your boyfriends--and I’m not him.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.
Joey: No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica!
Monica: Are you saying I smell bad?
Joey: No! No, you smell like a meadow. (Pause.) I'm sorry. (Runs to the bathroom.)
Monica: What's with him?
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Rachel: (disgusted at Ross's antics) Ugh!
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Rachel: What?! You say that to kids?!!
Ross: No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.
Rachel: Ross, honey, it's a nice couch. It's not a magic couch.
The Salesman: You picked a great couch.