Friends六人行 第九季英文剧本(191-200页)
时间:2007-11-04 16:02:49来源: 作者:
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Monica: Oh yeah that's what you want - my inhibitions lowered.
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
Monica: (Shocked) Oh my God! Chandler!
[Scene: The theater. Chandler is sitting in the otherwise empty front row, looking around nervously]
Chandler: Where the hell is everybody?
(The lights dim and Chandler tries to get away but as the bitter lady comes on stage and starts yelling he promptly changes his mind and sits down)
Bitter lady: (yelling) Why don't you like me?! Chapter One: My first period.
[Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it]
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Rachel: Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number.
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Matthew Ashford: It was nice to meet you Rachel.
Rachel: Nice to meet you.
Matthew Ashford: Call me.
Rachel: Ok
(Matthew leaves)
Monica: (yelling after him) We will!!
Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!
Rachel: Yeah!
Monica: I guess you have forgotten all about Joey?
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
(cut to Ross and Charlie)
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Ross: Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer?
Charlie: Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with.
Ross: You... you dated Albert Wintermeyer?
Charlie: Yeah...
Ross: ... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby...
Charlie: Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.
Ross: Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!
Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
Ross: Who is intimidating to a guy who won the Nobel Prize?
Charlie: A guy who won two.
Ross: (a little suprised) Two? Wha...? Don't tell me you dated Benjamin Hobart
Charlie: Yeah... for three years.
Ross: Oh my God! Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who hasn't won the Nobel Prize?
Charlie: (smiling and thinks for a moment)... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy.
Ross: Oh yeah? no, no Nobel Prizes for him?
Charlie: No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant.
Ross: Huh... huh... what a loser! Some more wine? (takes the half-full glasses and goes to the counter)
Phoebe: Hey Ross!
Rache: How is it going with Charlie?
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out.
Phoebe: Oh, What's the matter?
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Rachel: I always loved that!!
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Phoebe: Worse?
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
Phoebe: (still laughing) No. (points to Rachel who stuck two straws in her mouth to look like a mammoth's tusks)
Ross: What? (turns around to look at Rachel)
Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)
[Scene: Chandler in the theater]
Bitter lady: Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh?
Chandler: (To himself) oh yes, God yes!!
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
Chandler: I... I don't know... you seem lovely.
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)
Ross: Nice to meet you.
Dirk: Hey! So what show are you on?
Ross: Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology.
(Dirk is confused)
Joey: It's a science.
Dirk: Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize.
(Ross looks annoyed hearing that even Dirk's character won a Nobel prize)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Dirk: Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs.
Ross: I'd lead with that.
(Cut to Monica holding up her shirt, revealing her bra. An actor stands beside her, holding a pen in his hand.)
Monica: That's it, just sign right on the bra (the actor does so).
Joey: Monica!
Monica: Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year!
(Joey, resigned, walks to Rachel's table)
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
Rachel: Just some boys gave me their phone numbers.
Joey: Ah, let me see! (she hands him a pile of tissues) Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty?
Rachel: (drunken voice) I think I am.
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you $5,000 to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
(Rachel is puzzled)
Joey: (discarding all the remaining tissues one by one) Pass, pass, oh, pass, double-pass, pass...
Rachel: (picking up the tissues) Why, why, what's wrong with these guys?
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Rachel: Who (looks around)?
(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)
Joey: Me.
Rachel: (surprised) What? (with a nervous smile) Really?
Joey: Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke!
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Joey: Gotcha.
Rachel: Oh, Very funny... Joey.
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
(Chandler walks in)
Chandler: (to Monica) So, how did you enjoy the play?
Monica: Oh my god, honey, I'm so so so so so sorry.
Chandler: Well you should be. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater.
Monica: You really liked it?
Chandler: Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted.
Monica: Oh really!
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Monica: No!
Chandler: Did somebody sign your bra?
Monica: So I got it when I was 13...
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?
Ross: It's actually a $1,000,000 prize.
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe PhD.
Ross: Yeah, maybe. I do have my whole career in front of me. I mean, I can still win a Nobel prize. Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited.
Phoebe: You're so much more than just brains! You're sweet, and kind, and funny...
Ross: And sexy.
Phoebe: Ok well give her a chance to see all of that!
Ross: Yeah, you're right, thanks Pheebs, I'm gonna go find her.
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Ross: Stop going through my stuff (walks away)!
(Rachel approaches Monica)
Rachel: (to Monica) Hey!
Monica: Hey!
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
Monica: No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.
Rachel: Please, what about you and Chandler?
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Rachel: Well hello (points to herself)!
Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
Monica: Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision.
Rachel: (pause) I'm gonna do it.
Monica: And I can't stop you.
Rachel: No.
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns
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