Friends六人行 第十季英文剧本(11-20页)

Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? (looks up)
Rachel: Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo?
Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying?
Rachel: Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and...
Ross: Oh, not another one! Oh my G... And this is moisturiser. It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Rachel: Wow! Well, clearly this is not a good time.
Ross: Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen)
[Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Precious: I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on here. I mean, are you guys getting back together or something?
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Precious: My name is Precious.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Precious: I just can't believe this... Why?
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Precious: Oh, why would he do this? I mean, what's wrong with me?
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Precious: I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do now?
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
(Precious starts crying)
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Precious: I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
Precious: He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever. (she starts to cry again)
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
Precious: Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect.
(Mike enters the apartment.)
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: You're welcome!
[Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
Monica: Not really.
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
Monica: I have a problem.
Chandler: Really? What happened?
Monica: Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck.
Chandler: You can't move at all?
Monica: Oh, well, I can move... (she moves back and forth the shower curtain rail, opening and closing the shower curtain with her hair as she goes)
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
Monica: (looking disappointed) I guess so...
Chandler: (trying to untangle her) Some of these look a little frayed.
Monica: Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.
[Rachel and Joey's apartment. Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: Hi!
Joey: So, did you err... did you tell Ross?
Rachel: Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency. So I guess now it's your turn again.
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's what we do.
Joey: Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together.
Rachel: Okay, that sounds fair. It just means that once again we can't...
Joey: I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals.
Rachel: No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then?
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
Rachel: Goo--ood night!
Joey: Good night! (they give each other a kiss again, but this time it lasts longer)
Rachel: Seriously, good night!
Joey: Stop saying good night.
Rachel: Okay.
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Monica and Chandler's. Monica walks in with one of those knitted Rasta hats.]
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?
Monica: Sure, what do you have in mind?
Chandler: I think you know.
Monica: Really? I don't really feel like it.
Chandler: This is what I want to do.
Monica: Okay, I just don't get why you like it so much.
Chandler: (Picks up the "Miss Congeniality" DVD) She's an FBI agent, posing as a beauty contestant.
THE END

1002 The One Where Ross Is Fine

[Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Rachel: We weren't doing anything!
Joey: Rach, he just saw us.
Rachel: Shhh.
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Rachel: Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill.
Joey: Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but..
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Joey: Yeah, but it did happen, so...
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
Joey: Ross?
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
OPENING CREDITS
[ Joey and Rachel's apartment. Continued from earlier.]
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
Ross: So you two are..?
Joey and Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: And have you .. ed?
Joey: No, no, no!
Rachel: No, no, no!
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Joey: Probably.
(Rachel looks at him.)
Joey: No, no!
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?
Rachel: No, but you know what I mean.
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
Joey: Really?
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Joey: Ross..
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Rachel: Calm ourselves?
Ross: No. We should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!!
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
Joey: I do like fajitas.
[ Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
Chandler: There's a hair in my coffee.
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey guys!
Monica: Hey.
Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
Chandler: You know, it's funny. Every time you say "triplets," I immediately think of three hot blonde 19-year olds.
(Monica glares at him.)
Monica: That's sweet. Drink your hair.
Phoebe: Hey, what's all this stuff?
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Phoebe: Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one!
Monica: That's not really how it works.
Phoebe: Oh, how does it work?
Monica: I don't know!
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Monica: Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great?
(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.)
(Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.)
Frank Jr.: Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. When we're in a public place, there are certain rules.
(The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.)
Frank Jr.: That's not what we talked about!!
Phoebe: Hey!
Frank Jr.: Hey.
Phoebe: Good to see you.
Frank Jr.: Good to see you, too.
Monica: Hi Frank.
Frank Jr.: Hi, how you doin'?
Monica: Oh, my goodness, they've all gotten so big!
(Little Chandler is pulling Chandler's sweater, while Leslie is throwing bagels at him.)
Monica: Which one is which again?
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
Monica (reads a form in her lap): "Willing to adopt triplets?" No!
[ The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Rachel: Well, what would we be doing?
Joey: I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home...
Rachel: Feel me up?
Joey: In a carriage!