Friends六人行 第十季英文剧本(61-70页)

How do you propose to correct this problem?
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Benjamin: (nods) Interesting.
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
Benjamin: Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place?
Dr. Biely: Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota.
Benjamin: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
Ross: (shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question")
Benjamin: Care to venture a guess?
Ross: (annoyed) May 12th?
Benjamin: (looks surprised and un-impressed) That's not even kinda close! (Ross looks around confused) Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing?
Dr. Li: Half a dozen.
Benjamin: I see, and Dr. Biely?
Dr. Biely: Three for excavation and two for analysis.
Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
Ross: (even more shocked) Wha..? I need 6 graduate students.
Benjamin: No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You.
Ross: Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology.
Benjamin: You're right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. Spell "Boscodictiasaur".
Ross: (annoyed) um... I've never heard of a "Boscodictiasaur".
Benjamin: Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.
Ross: (stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ...
Benjamin: No, it starts with a silent "M".
Ross: Oh come on!!
Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Rachel are talking.]
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
Rachel: But you are a liar.
Chandler: What did I just say?
(Joey comes out of his room)
Joey: You still here?
Chandler: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.)(yelling) Stop lying!
Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
Rachel: Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
(The commercial:
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)

Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
(Silence)
Chandler: He really is a chameleon.
Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters carrying the horrific 'painting' of Gladys. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
Monica: (faking happiness) Oh, my!
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)

Monica: (sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Phoebe: (genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
Monica: (offended) I like that poster!
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Rachel: (jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!
Monica: (Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here?
Scene: Ross' office. Ross is pacing and Benjamin enters]

Ross: Oh hi! Hello! Uh, have you come to ask me some more paleontology related questions? Uhm... your grandmother's nickname, perhaps? (Now yelling) Aunt Margaret's pants size?
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Ross: (Sarcastic) No! Stop!
Benjamin: Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant.
Ross: (Skeptical) Really?
Benjamin: Well... there is just one small... stipulation...
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
Benjamin: Hey, you got one right!
(Ross shakes his head)
Ross: You're crazy.
Benjamin: Crazy, or... romantic?
Ross: Crazy!
Benjamin: Ooor...
Ross: (Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)
Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.]
(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)
Rachel: O-oh my God!
Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What?
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this!
Joey: But it's an original Buffay...
Rachel: Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.
Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.
(Joey's eyes are twice their size now, and looks nervously from Rachel to Gladys and back.)
Rachel: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.
Joey: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
Rachel: Yes I can! (pushes her back again)
Monica: No you can't. She's yours!
Rachel: She's yours!
Monica: SHE'S YOURS!
Rachel: She's yours!
(While they are both pushing the painting towards each other, Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey! (there's a pause)
Rachel: She's mine!
Monica: She's m-i-i-ne!
Rachel: She's mine!
Monica: She's mine!
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Rachel: I want Gladys!
Monica: She's mine!
Rachel: She's mine!
Monica: She's mine!
Rachel: She's mine!
Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey's home alone, reading a Sports Illustrated magazine when Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Monica: Oh my God!
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
Rachel: Excellent!
Joey: Now, what do you say?
Chandler: Lying is wrong!
Joey: And?... AND?
Chandler: I'm a pretty little girl.
Phoebe: I knew it!
Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Ross: Your ex-boyfriend is insane.
Charlie: Did you get the grant?
Ross: No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.
Charlie: What?
Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.
Charlie: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
Charlie: I'm sure he was just joking, Ross.
Ross: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
Charlie: Seriously?
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur?
Charlie: Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O...
Ross: Damnit!
Scene: Benjamin's office. Ross and Charlie are entering.]
Benjamin: Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here?
Ross: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Charlie: Benji?
Benjamin: Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life.
Ross: Too little, too late, Benji!
Charlie: I can't believe this.
Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
Ross: (indignant) No!
Charlie: Yes!
Ross: What?
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.
Ross: or...
Benjamin: Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back?
Charlie: Maybe...
Ross: Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
Charlie: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...
Benjamin: (puts his hand on Ross's other cheek) I'm sorry too...
(Charlie and Benji both let their hands slide down Ross's face, until their hands meet, and they hold hands.)
Benjamin: I love you!
Charlie: I love you too! (and they start to kiss)
Ross: Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE!

COMMERCIAL BREAK
Scene: Joey's bedroom. Joey's asleep with Hugsy, the penguin right next to him.]
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
Joey: Gladys?
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Rachel: Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old.
Joey: You're mean!
Rachel: Oh, don't be such a baby!
(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)
The End