Friends六人行 第十季英文剧本(101-110页)

Monica: Don抰 you love the huge yard?
Chandler: And the fireplace in the bedroom.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you!
Monica: So? Do you think we should get it?
Chandler: I don抰 know. What do you think?
Monica: I think we should.
Chandler: I do too.
Monica: This is huge!
Chandler: I know.
Monica: How bad you wanna smoke, right now.
Chandler: I don抰 know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy抯 car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Monica: Gotcha. When do we tell them about this?
Chandler: We don抰. Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing.
Monica: Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard.
Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it.
[Scene: Joey抯 apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
Ross: I just can抰 see Chandler cheating!
Rachel: I抦 telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can抰 believe he would do this to Monica!
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Phoebe: So, should we tell her?
Ross: I don抰 know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Phoebe: Why? Who抎 you seen him with?
Ross: No one, I抦 just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)
Phoebe: TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike抯 a great guy, it was hypothetical!
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You抮e right, he wouldn抰 cheat.
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there抯 no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?
[Scene: Monica抯 apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Rachel: Oh, look at her, so happy!
Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!
Joey: Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here?
Monica: No, he抯 picking up dinner, why, what抯 up?
Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we抮e here for you and we love you.
Monica (puzzled): All right...
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Monica: What?
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Phoebe: They went in together. So sorry.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that抯 awful! What did you think of the house?
(they all look confused and sorry for her)
Phoebe: What?
Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?
Monica: Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey? (Chandler enters)
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Rachel: Who's Nancy?
Ross: What's going on?
Monica: (turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big.
Chandler: Yeah (motions them to sit and they do) I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.
Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!!
Phoebe: Why do you have a realtor?
Monica: Uhm, she has been showing us houses outside of the city.
Joey: (clearly shocked) What?
Rachel: Are you serious?
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.
Phoebe: So you're gonna move?
Ross: Oh my God.
Joey: Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this?!
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Monica: And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset...
Chandler: ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by.
Ross: (sarcastic) So you wanna buy a house in the 50's?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.
Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! (to Ross) I'm gonna thump you! (points his fist at him)
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Chandler: Actually, we already found a house we love.
Ross: What?
Monica: And about an hour ago, we made an offer.
(All the friends looked shocked and confused. There is a long silence.)
Chandler: Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh?
TIME LAPSE
Ross: You put an offer on a house?
Monica: (smiling) It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... (gets cut off)
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Joey: What the hell are you doin'?
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Phoebe: Yeah, but so is this.
Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?
[We fade to some flashback scenes.]
(from 1.01 - "The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate - The Pilot")
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
(from 1.18 - "The One With All the Poker")
Ross: That money is mine, Green!
Rachel: You're fly is open, Geller!
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'!
(from 1.07 - "The One With The Blackout")
Phoebe: [looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
[They all look at the window, grossed out, then flinch in pain.]
Rachel: Ow, that had to hurt!
(from 3.09 - "The One With All the Football")
Phoebe: Hey, it抯 your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
The Guys: We will. (they don抰 move)
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles.
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
(Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica抯 nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Monica: Every year.
(from 5.08 - "The One With the Thanksgiving Flashbacks")
Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Joey: It smells really bad in here.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Joey: It's Joey.
(from 4.12 - "The one With the Embryos")
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Oooohh that抯 interesting.
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Joey: (shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.)
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Joey: Oooooh!
Monica: Deal!
TIME LAPSE
Ross: What was Monica抯 nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Joey: Big fat goalie.
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie...
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Joey: Weekend at Bernie抯.
Ross: Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
(They both confer)
Joey: Everyday use.
Chandler: Fancy.
Joey: Guest.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: Two seconds...
Joey: Uhh, 11!
Ross: 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.)
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl抯 breast?
Rachel: 14?
Ross: No, 19.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Monica: Maurice.
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Rachel: Space cowboy!
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing抯 job?
(The girls are stumped)
Rachel: Ow...Oh Gosh!
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It抯 umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, he抯 a transponce...transpondster!
Monica: That抯 not even a word!
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Monica: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
TIME LAPSE
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Rachel: Y択now what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean!
Joey: Hey, don抰 get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Monica: Hey, we would still be living here if hadn抰 gotten the question wrong!
Rachel: Well it stupid, unfair question!
Ross: Don抰 blame the questions!
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
(from 5.15 - "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey")
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
Monica: (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Ross: What the hell are doing?!!
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.