Friends六人行 第十季英文剧本(141-150页)

Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
[Scene: The hospital. Rachel is pouring her self a cup of coffee. Ross approaches from behind.]
Ross: Hey Rach, can you grab me a cup of coffee?
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?
Rachel: Hmm-hmm. (starts to pour herself a cup of coffee, never looking at Ross)
Ross: You sure you're alright?
Rachel: (coldly) Yep.
Ross: (knowing she's not alright) O-kay. Well, I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast. (He starts to leave)
Rachel: FYI..
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him)
Ross: (half amused) Wait, wait, (looks around a little) You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Ross: (acknowledging the last part of her sentence) Well...
Rachel: Oh stop that!
Ross: I can't believe this. I was just being a good guy. I treated you with respect and understanding.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. (She walks around him to the other side)
<">Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
Ross: I gotta say, I have not had sex a lot of times before, this is the worst ever.
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Ross: Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again.
Rachel: What?
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Hey! How was lunch?
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Chandler: (struggling) Oh, really?
Erica: No! (To Monica) You we're right, that was fun! I'm gonna go finish packing.
Chandler: O-okay. (steps closer to Monica and speaks softly) So, is she gonna take the test?
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Chandler: Oh God. It's shovely-Joe, isn't it?
Monica: (smiling) No it's not.
Chandler: How do you know?
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Chandler: Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do?
Monica: The thing we never do.
Chandler: (nods in appreciation) Shovely Joe!
[Scene: The theatre where Joey is auditioning. Phoebe enters when Joey's on stage and she sits down. He hasn't seen her.]
Director: Whenever you're ready Joey.
Joey: Right. (clears his throat) Dja bu bu Claude. Uh, c'est la pu les la lu blah bloo.
Casting assistant: I'm sorry, what's going on?
Joey: Dude, come on! French it u-up!
Director: Joey, do you speak French?
Joey: Toutes la smore! Bu blu-ay bloo blah ooh! Pfoof!
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Phoebe: (in a French accent) Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
Director: You really think this man is speaking French?
Joey: Sa-sa-saw!
Phoebe: écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
(The director looks at Joey and he nods.)
<">Phoebe: Alors, si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui... (Translation: So, would you please just humor him?)
Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
Joey: Ah. All right. But my French was good?
Director: It was great.
Joey: (to Phoebe) Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See!
Phoebe: (to the director) Merci. Au revoir. (Translation: Thanks, goodbye.)
Joey: Yeah-hah. Toute-de-le-fruit.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Ross: Emma's down for the night.
Rachel: Oh, good.
Ross: So uh... I guess I wanna take off.
Rachel: Okay... Hey listen, just before you go I-I again, I just wanna say "thank you" for coming with me.
Ross: Oh, no problem.
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Ross: Thank you. I'm glad you agree.
Rachel: It's a shame though, I mean, when we did it, it was pretty good.
Ross: Yeah... Yeah, that's true.
Rachel: Hey uhm, do you remember that one really great time...?
Ross: Oh, ye-ah!
Rachel: You know it was you're uhm... birthday...
Ross: ...Valentine's day...
Both: (long pause, they realize) Oh yeah!
Rachel: Well, I guess that's all in the past, now.
Ross: Hmmm-mmmm.
Rachel: (after a pause) Not even one more time?
Ross: Not even once.
Rachel: No matter how much we want it.
Ross: Even if we want it really bad.
Rachel: That's what we decided.
Ross: Uhm, right!
Rachel: ...It's kinda hard though!
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: You know, when two people have a connection, you know, that's... just seems like such a... waste.
Ross: ...I hate waste.
Rachel: ...Ross?
Ross: Yes?
Rachel: Just so you know... With us... it's never off the table. (she enters her room and closes the door.)
Ross: Damn it. It's never off the table. (he leaves the apartment)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey are "updating" Joey's resumé.]
Phoebe: Okay, can you really tapdance?
Joey: No.
Phoebe: It's off the resumé. (she strikes it through with a pencil)
Phoebe: Archery?
Joey: No.
Phoebe: Horseback riding?
Joey: Would fall off a lot.
Phoebe: You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Joey: That I can do.
Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Joey: Al, right, watch me! (he takes a full container of milk from the fridge) Okay, you time me. Ready?
Phoebe: Ready... GO!
(Joey takes the plastic container to his mouth and starts to drink. Most of the milk gushes from the bottle down his chin and over his clothes to the floor. He keeps "drinking" and all of a sudden he lifts it up and half the bottle of milk pours out in an instant. He then continues to drink the rest. He then puts the empty container down on the counter.)
Phoebe: (checking her watch) You did it!
THE END

1014 The One With Princess Consuela

[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
Mike: (raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs)
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.
Monica: Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here.
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
Chandler: A dinosaur died a million years ago?
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
Phoebe: Wow!
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: (while entering) Hi you guys.
All: Hey.
Rachel: Ooh, Italian! (she also grabs a plate)
Monica: No one wanted seconds, right?
Ross: No, no. I-I'm good.
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Ross: I'm up for tenure.
Rachel: Congratulations!
Ross: You too! What are the odds?
Rachel: Ooh! (they hug)
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
 
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Phoebe: Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg)
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Monica: Uhm the... the ministry... of names... bureau...
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Monica: I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name?
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me Mrs. Hannigan.
Chandler: (pretending to call her.) Mrs. Hannigan?
Phoebe: (loudly and crossly) What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? (smiling) Ooh, I like it.
Joey: (enters) Hey guys.
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
Joey: No, thank you.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Chandler: Damn it.
Monica: See you guys later.
Phoebe: Okay!