HAPPINESS

HAPPINESS  

Written and Directed by

Todd Solondz

1. EXT. HAPPY'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT. 1.

The sign is illuminated.

2. INT. HAPPY'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT. 2.

Pretty, 30ish JOY JORDAN and teary-eyed STUART sit opposite each other. He is trying to resist bursting into tears as they finish dessert.

JOY

Stuart??Are you okay?

STUART

Yeah. Sure. I'm fine.

JOY

Good. Well. I had a really nice time.

STUART

Yeah. Me too.

JOY

Of course, you know I've always

had a nice time with you.

STUART

Same here.

JOY

But?

STUART

Yeah.

JOY

You understand.

STUART

Unh.

JOY

And you don't hate me?

STUART

No.

JOY

'Cause you know I could never

hate you. At the same time, I just

don't think I could ever厃ou know? you. In the way you should be?

STUART

Yeah.

JOY

And deserve to be.

STUART

Unh hunh.

JOY

Well. The food here was excellent? I'm gonna recommend it to my

sisters! How many stars did it get?

STUART

Three and a half.

And the dam cracks wide open. He bawls. A pause.

JOY

Do you feel better now?

(STUART nods)

Me too.

STUART

I'm sorry.

JOY

It's really good we had this talk.

STUART

Yeah.

JOY

Before things went too far? You know, got too serious.

STUART

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm too serious.

JOY

No, you're not. It's me.

STUART

No, it's me.

JOY

Okay. It's you. I'm sorry.

STUART

Okay.

Pause.

JOY

'Cause I mean?

STUART

I know.

JOY

The thing is, I want to do what's

right ?for both of us. I spent

a lot of time卐xamining卪y heart.

And I felt that you deserved

my honesty.

STUART

Thanks.

Pause.

JOY

Now I just want to make you

whole again.

STUART

I'm whole.

JOY

Really?

STUART

Really.

JOY

?Cause I was afraid we wouldn't

be able to be friends anymore.

STUART

(laughing, sort of)

Oh, Joy!

JOY

Oh, but you know how it is.

And well, most guys?

STUART

I'm not most guys.

JOY

I know. If only most guys were

like you.

STUART

But then I'd be like most guys.

JOY

(laughs)

Oh, Stuart. If only I felt the way

I'd like to feel with you?Life is

so unfair. It's all my fault.

STUART

I know.

(a beat)

Are you sure?

JOY

Yes.

Pause.

STUART

Is it someone else?

JOY

No, it's just you.

Pause.

STUART

I want to show you something

I got for you.

JOY

For me?

STUART

(hands her a gift)

Open it up.

JOY

(discovers a pewter ashtray)

Oh, but Stuart. This is卭h,

this is beautiful.

STUART

Thanks. It's a Gainsevoort

reproduction. Boston, late 1800's.

I sent away for it just after

we had our協irst date.

JOY

Oh, I just love it. It's a卛t's a

collector's item.

STUART

Yeah, it is pretty special.

JOY

(laughs)

It almost makes me want to start

smoking again!

STUART

Look at the bottom.

JOY

(examines more closely)

Ooh.

STUART

Forty karat gold-plate inlaid base.

JOY

Oh, Stuart. Thank you. This really

means something to me. I'll always

treasure it卆s a token?

STUART

No, you won't.

(retrieves his gift;

a sudden shift in emotion:)

'Cause this is for the girl who

loves me. The girl who cares for me,

for who I am, not what I look like.

I wanted you to know what you'd be

missing. You think I don't appreciate

art. You think I don't understand

fashion. You think I'm not hip.

You think I'm pathetic, a nerd,

a lard-ass fatso. You think I'm shit.

Well, you're wrong. 'Cause I'm

champagne. And you're shit.

And till the day you die, you,

not me, will always be shit.

3. EXT. ROAD - NIGHT. 3.

Thunder. Rain. STUART's car drives by.

4. INT. STUART'S CAR - NIGHT. 4.

JOY sits beside STUART, who is driving. A plastic "World of Pewter" shopping bag hangs by the glove compartment.

5. EXT. JOY'S PLACE - NIGHT. 5.

The car pulls over.

JOY

Well, good night.

STUART

Good night.

JOY gets out. STUART drives away.

FADE TO BLACK.