HAPPINESS

Um?I guess?Yeah?I mean, we all

have our厃ou know卲luses and minuses?

Pause.

KRISTINA

It was a crime of passion.

(a beat.)

I'm a passionate woman.

107. INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - NIGHT. 107.

ALLEN and KRISTINA come out of the elevator.

ALLEN

Well?

KRISTINA

I had a lovely time, Allen.

Thank you. I hope we can do it again.

ALLEN

Good night.

KRISTINA

Good night.

ALLEN has entered his apartment and is about to close the door behind him, when KRISTINA suddenly interrupts:

KRISTINA

Oh, and Allen!

ALLEN

Yeah?

KRISTINA

You're a very good dancer.

ALLEN smiles weakly, then shuts his door, locking and double-bolting it. Pause. KRISTINA returns to her apartment.

108. INT. ALLEN'S PLACE - NIGHT. 108.

ALLEN stares at his telephone. Finally, he plugs it in. Instantly it rings. He answers it. At first, just breathing. Then:

HELEN (V.O.)

I've had you on auto-redial all night.

ALLEN hangs up and unplugs the phone again. He sits down and stares at it.

109. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - NIGHT. 109.

ALLEN comes out of his apartment and walks bravely down towards HELEN's apartment. He stops outside her door. Pause. He buzzes.

A moment passes. ALLEN covers the peephole with his hand.

HELEN (O.S.)

Hello?

HELEN opens the door, sees ALLEN.

HELEN

Yes?

Pause.

ALLEN

I'm the one.

HELEN

I'm the one.

(a beat.)

Oh.

She cannot disguise her disappointment, but tries.

HELEN

Come in.

ALLEN

Okay.

110. INT. HELEN'S PLACE - NIGHT. 110.

HELEN and ALLEN sit opposite each other. A long silence. Finally:

HELEN

Drink?

ALLEN

No卼hanks.

Pause.

HELEN

This isn't working.

ALLEN

No.

HELEN

You're not my type.

ALLEN

No.

HELEN

I'm sorry.

ALLEN

It's okay.

HELEN

I made a mistake.

ALLEN

Me too.

HELEN escorts him out.

HELEN

Good night.

ALLEN

Good night.

111. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - NIGHT. 111.

ALLEN walks back towards his door, pauses, looks at the other end of the hallway: he decides to go visit KRISTINA instead.

He buzzes KRISTINA's door.

After a few moments, the door opens. ALLEN looks at the ground. KRISTINA's eyes are full, her hands coated with M&M's. he walks inside.

112. INT. KRISTINA'S PLACE - NIGHT. 112.

ALLEN and KRISTINA lie in bed, facing different directions.

113. EXT. FLORIDA/ARIZONA GOLF COURSE - DAY. 113.

It is hot and sunny. LENNY is golfing alone, isolated.

Suddenly, from afar, he hears a woman's cries. He looks up.

LENNY'S POV: An older woman is running around, hysterical. An older man lies on the ground. Ambulance men haul him onto a stretcher and into a waiting ambulance.

After the ambulance has left, a young caddie picks up the strewn golf equipment and transports it away.

114. INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY. 114.

LENNY sits across from the DOCTOR.

LENNY

Are you sure?

DOCTOR

Look, you see this?

(illuminates an x-ray)

You're the picture of health.

LENNY

So no tumors.

DOCTOR

Nope.

LENNY

匒nd my heart?

DOCTOR

Like an ox. Lenny.

You're gonna live to a hundred.

LENNY

Oh. That means I still have

another 35 years.

DOCTOR

(smiles)

Just stay off the salt!

LENNY

(musters a return smile)

You bet!

115. EXT. CONDO ROADWAY - DAY. 115.

MONA is driving along.

116. INT. MONA'S CAR - DAY. 116.

MONA notices someone up ahead.

MONA'S POV of DIANE jogging.

BACK TO MONA contemplating murder. She aims for DIANE. But as she gets closer, a SECURITY GUARD suddenly appears. She waves with a friendly smile at DIANE instead.

ANGLE ON DIANE waving back in a pleasant manner.

117. INT. MONA AND LENNY'S CONDO - NIGHT. 117.

LENNY and MONA are preparing for bed, watching TV.

MONA

I met with Steven Zimmer this morning.

LENNY

You like him?

MONA

Yeah. I'm gonna hire him.

LENNY

Good. I'm gonna use Marty Blau.

MONA

Good. I feel so much better now.

LENNY

Yeah. It shouldn't take too long.

Pause.

MONA

Lenny?

LENNY

Yeah?

MONA

Can you sleep on the living room sofa?

LENNY

Why?

MONA

Steven Zimmer thought it would be

a good idea.

Pause.

LENNY

Okay.

LENNY starts off for the living room, gets extra pillow and blanket. Pause. MONA then gets up and follows him into the living room.

MONA

Lenny?

LENNY

Yeah?

MONA

You don't have to sleep there.

You can stay with me if you want.

LENNY

Nah. It's okay. Good night.

MONA

Good night.

Pause. MONA turns back towards her bedroom.

LENNY

Close the door behind you.

MONA closes the door behind her.

118. INT. DIANE'S CONDO - DAY. 118.

LENNY rings the doorbell. DIANE opens the door.

DIANE

Oh, hello.

LENNY

I thought I'd say hi.

DIANE

Please come in.

LENNY follows DIANE into her living room. She fixes a couple drinks, turns on a cd.

DIANE

Gin and tonic?

LENNY

Okay. Thanks.

She returns with the drinks, sits beside him on the sofa.

DIANE

Uch, it's so bright outside.

It gives me a headache just

looking out the window.

LENNY

It's supposed to rain tomorrow.

DIANE

I don't want to talk about the weather.

Pause.

LENNY

Well, it was good for playing golf.

DIANE

I hate that game. It's so slow and tedious.

LENNY

Still, it passes time.

DIANE

I like to travel.

LENNY

I wen to Europe once.

DIANE

Have you ever been to Tahiti?

LENNY

No.

DIANE

What about Tunisia? A night in Tunisia!

LENNY

No.

DIANE

Vincent never liked to travel.

LENNY

I guess I'm like Vincent.

DIANE

(laughs)

You know, when I was a child I always

imagined I'd marry the man I fell in

love with, have a son and daughter who

loved me as much as I hated my mother,

then die tragically and suddenly,

young and beautiful. Later, when

Vincent left me, I imagined I'd finally

be happy.

LENNY

I guess you've never lost your imagination.

DIANE

Lenny, I've got to get out of here? I can't breath?The women are all? pathetic gossips卆nd the men?

LENNY

匤ust pathetic?

DIANE

I don't want to die here.

LENNY

You just don't want to die.

DIANE

Not alone.

They make love. Afterwards, LENNY turns away.

DIANE

Don't. Don't feel guilty.

LENNY turns back, looks at her.

LENNY

I don't. I don't feel anything.

119. INT. MAPLEWOOD HOME - EVENING. 119.

The family is at the table, eating dinner.

BILL

So how was school today?

BILLY

Okay. Ronald Farber was absent.

BILL

Oh?

BILLY

He was afraid of the math test.

TRISH

So he stayed home?

BILLY

Yeah. He cut.

TRISH

Oh, that's terrible. His parents?

BILLY

They don't know yet.

They're still on vacation.

TRISH

Oh, are they gonna be upset.

BILLY

Yeah, well, Ronald's gonna be upset

when he finds out the test was cancelled.

BILL

What happened?

BILLY

Mrs. Paley was absent also.

TRISH

(chuckles.)

Oh, gee!

BILL

Did you call Ronald and tell him?

BILLY

Yeah, but there was no answer.

TRISH

So was Mrs. Paley sick, then?

BILLY

Well, everyone says she was

just too strung out.

TRISH

Now why do people say things like that?

BILLY

'Cause she's a drug addict.

TRISH

And how do you know?

BILLY

Mom. Everyone knows.

TRISH

Well, I didn't know. Did you know, Bill?

BILL

No.

BILLY

Well, it's what everyone says: she's

a junkie. And she's probably gonna be

fired. It's really sad.

TRISH

Well, if Mrs. Paley turns out, in fact,

to be a junkie, then卻he should be

fired. Don't you think, Bill?

BILL

I don't know. Don't you think that's

a little harsh? I mean, if it's not

affecting her work?

TRISH

Well, apparently it is. And no, in fact,

I don't think it's a little harsh at all.

I'm sorry, but when it comes to drug

abuse卆nd children, my children?Uch,

they should all be locked up and

throw away the key. I'm serious.

And Billy, I want you to know, if you

ever even think of doing drugs, and

end up dying in a hospital匢'd disown you.

That's how strongly I feel. Now I know,

Bill, I may sound harsh, but we're

talking about our kids. Not to be too

grandiose, but this is the future,

the future of our country we're

talking about, after all.

A pause. The telephone rings.

TRISH

I'll get it.

(answers the phone.)

Hello, who is this, pleas?? Oh, hi?Sure, hold on?(to BILL)

It's Joe Grasso.

BILL

Oh, great! Thanks!

(rises, picks up the phone)

Hey, Joe! Whay's up? How's Johnny doing?

120. INT. JOE'S PLACE - EVENING. 120.

JOE grips the telephone tightly.

JOE