HAPPINESS

6. INT. BILL'S OFFICE - DAY. 6.

ALLEN talks to his psychiatrist, BILL MAPLEWOOD.

ALLEN

匢 dunno, but whenever I see her

I just want to厃ou know匢 want to

undress her, I want to tie her up

and pump her pump pump pump till

she screams bloody murder. And then

I want to flip her ass over and

pump her even more and so hard my

dick shoots right through her and

so that my come squirts out of

her mouth?Not that I could ever

actually卍o that?Oh, if only she

knew how I felt, how deep down I

really cared for her, respected her,

she would love me back. Maybe.

But she hardly even knows I exist.

I mean, she knows I exist ?we are

neighbors, we smile politely

at each other?But I don't know

how I could ever begin to really

talk to her, what can I talk about?

I have nothing to talk about.

I'm boring. I know. I've been told

before, so don't tell me it's not

true. 'Cause it's a fact. I bore

people. People look at me and they

get bored. They listen to me and

they zone out, bored?And for her

to see how boring I am卬o, no, no? It's better I say nothing?and hope? though right now, I have to say,

if I were to suddenly jump out of

my window, she wouldn't care. I mean,

she'd care, of course, she'd care,

I mean, she is human, but I mean

she'd care the way you care about a

stranger you read about in the paper

that jumps in front of a running

subway train, a stranger whose name

you're never sure how to pronounce,

if it's even printed. I'd be an

anectode卪aybe. But you know what

I'm going to do? When I see her

next time, as soon as I see her,

I'm just going to tell her卼ell her

I find her卆ttractive. And that'll

be that. Then卼hen we'll see?

7. EXT. HIGH RISE - EVENING. 7.

HELEN parks, gets out of her car, walks towards the apartment building entrance.

8. INT. HIGH RISE LOBBY - EVENING. 8.

HELEN walks towards the elevator and waits beside ALLEN.

ALLEN mumbles something. HELEN is oblivious.

ALLEN

How's it going?

HELEN

Okay.

The elevator arrives.

9. INT. ELEVATOR - EVENING. 9.

ALLEN and HELEN step inside. They ride in silence up to their floor.

10. INT. HALLWAY - EVENING. 10.

ALLEN and HELEN emerge from the elevator.

ALLEN

See ya.

HELEN

Yeah.

And they walk their separate ways.

11. INT. ALLEN'S APARTMENT - EVENING. 11.

ALLEN drops his stuff.

He takes a shower.

He lies down.

He glances at a book of poetry. CLOSE ON the jacket photo of the author and accompanying brief bio (i.e. "Nominated for the PEN/Faulkner Prize for poetry, Helen Jordan has taught at Harvard, Yale?)

He leans his head against the wall, listens to HELEN making love to somebody next door: "Oh, Helen! Helen! Helen!" etc. He removes his ear from the wall, sits on the bed, a phone book beside him.

He starts flipping randomly through the phone book. He turns to a page. He dials a number from the book. No answer. He sighs. Tries to next number down. A man picks up. ALLEN hangs up immediately. He dials again. A beautiful-sounding WOMAN picks up.

ALLEN

Hello, is this Claire?

WOMAN (V.O.)

Who is this?

ALLEN hangs up. He buries his head in his hands.

12. INT. TRISH'S PLACE - DAY. 12.

JOY sits in the kitchen with her sister TRISH, who is doing her nails. Trish's baby CHLOE lies in JOY'S lap. JUANITA the cleaning woman cleans up in the b.g. The family dog KOOKI teethes on a bone.

Cute little TIMMY appears, in a Robocop-style outfit.

TRISH

Oh, Timmy! Look who's here!

TIMMY

(aiming a laser at JOY)

Die, Aunt Joy! Die!

TRISH

Timmy!

She tries to go after him, but he has already run off.

JOY

Oh, leave him alone, Trish.

He's just going through a phase.

TRISH

Oh, I know, but?

JOY

(trying to make light)

It's okay. I'm strong enough.

JOY suddenly bursts into tears.

TRISH

Oh, Joy, Joy. What's the matter?

JOY

I don't know what it is,

but I feel there's so much

hostility directed at me.

TRISH

Did another guy dump you?

JOY

No! I卭h, I feel horrible.

TRISH

Aww. Timmy didn't mean it.

JOY

I'm sorry. I-I'm just overworked.

TRISH

It's okay. Because now maybe

you'll listen to me.

JOY

What?

A weighty pause.

TRISH

You've got to eat red meat.

JOY

Oh, Trish?

TRISH

Oh, I knew that's how you'd react,

but it's true. I've been watching you

and, well?My doctor says just

once a month?

JOY

I know?

TRISH

Really. It's the best thing for

the skin. It'll clear it all up.

JOY

What's wrong with my skin?

TRISH

It's fine now, but in another

few years?Please, Joy.

I'm speaking for your own good.

JOY

Oh, I know. Thanks.

A tender moment: TRISH and JOY hold hands.

JOY

I'm so happy.

TRISH

Are you really?

JOY

Being around you and the kids?

TRISH

Oh?And I'm so happy you're happy.

'Cause all this time I've been

thinking you were so miserable.

JOY

Oh, Trish! That's too funny,

when I couldn't be happier.

TRISH

It's just, what with your

music career never really?

JOY

My career's fine!

TRISH

Oh, I know, it will be!

I just know it! And then you'll

move out of Mom and Dad's?

JOY

Real soon!

TRISH

And you'll meet Mr. Right!

JOY

Oh, I will. Already I feel

I'm off to a fresh start!

TRISH

That's right. Just because

you've hit 30, doesn't mean you

can't be fresh anymore.

JOY

That's right.

Pause.

TRISH

You know, Joy, I've never told you

this before, but now that we're

older, and I feel so bonded to you,

well卼he truth is ?oh, I know this

sounds horrible, but I feel I have to

be fully open with you, get beyond

all the old barriers, sibling nonsense ? well, the truth is I always thought

you would never amount to much. That

you'd end up alone, without a career

or anything. Really, it's what we all

thought. Mom, Dad, Helen卐veryone? I'd always prayed we'd all be wrong,

but you had always seemed to卍oomed

to failure. But now I see, it's not true.

There is a glimmer of hope for you

after all. Oh, I know I'm repeating

myself, but, oh?(tears well up)

I'm so happy for you?

13. EXT. PARK - DAY. 13.

It is sunny and warm. Couples straight and gay walk hand in hand, families picnic, beautiful people sunbathe.

BILL observes the pleasant tranquillity from atop a hill. Suddenly he pulls out a machine gun and starts shooting at everyone.

Bloodshed everywhere. Then silence.

VOICE

And how is this different?

14. INT. PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE - DAY. 14.

BILL sits opposed his PSYCHIATRIST, to whom the VOICE belongs.

BILL

I don't kill myself at the end.

PSYCHIATRIST

Do you see this as something positive?

BILL

Gee, I don't know.

PSYCHIATRIST

How do you feel at the end?

BILL

Much better. I wake up happy.

Feeling good. But then I get very

depressed because I'm living in reality.

PSYCHIATRIST

And you wouldn't kill people

in real life.

BILL

No. I don't think so.

PSYCHIATRIST

You don't sound so certain.

BILL

I'm thinking about my patients.

PSYCHIATRIST

What about them?

BILL

My patients are ugly. Their problems

are trite. Each one thinks he is

unique. On a professional level they

bore me. On a personal level I have

no sympathy. They deserve what they get.

PSYCHIATRIST

And what about your family?

BILL

Trish is good to me.

PSYCHIATRIST

But still no sex?

BILL

No. But she's not too interested,

either. So really there's no problem

there, when you think about it,

on a certain level.

15. EXT. CAR - DAY. 15.

BILL is driving along.

16. EXT. PARK - DAY. 16.

Reminiscent of BILL'S dream: schoolchildren are playing, teachers supervising. A laborer is eating lunch with a co-worker. A little boy is sitting alone in the shade of a tree.

BILL pulls up to the side of the field and observes from his parking space.

He gets back in his car.

17. INT. BILL'S CAR - DAY. 17.

BILL is at the wheel again, a little tense.

18. EXT. MINI-MALL - DAY. 18.

BILL pulls into the lot. He walks into the 7-11.

19. INT. 7-11 - DAY. 19.

BILL picks up a Boy's Life, pays for it.