HEATHERS

                             HEATHER DUKE
               What is this? Blackmail? So what. I
               once shared a bunk with the biggest
               loser in the state. I'm not running
               for president....
                       (narrowing her eyes at the photos)
               I'll give you a week's lunch money.

                             J.D.
               I don't want your money, I want your
               strength. Westerburg doesn't need
               mushy togetherness, it needs a leader.
               Heather Chandler was that leader but...

                             HEATHER DUKE
               But she couldn't handle it.

     J.D. laughs. She's on the ball.

                             J.D.
               I think you can. In Catcher in the Rye
               Holden says his ideal job'd be making
               sure some kids don't fall off a cliff.
               He doesn't realize if you pay too much
               attention to the kids, you'll back off
               the cliff yourself.

                             HEATHER DUKE
               Very very. The photographs?

                             J.D.
               Don't worry. I'll ask you to do a favour,
               one you'll enjoy. You'll get the
               negatives and everything back then.

     J.D. launches away from his desk with a grin. He places a
     red ribbon on HEATHER DUKE's desk.

                             J.D.
               In the meantime, strength, And hey,
               there's a little gift.

     INT. THE GIRLS BATHROOM--DAY

     A spooked HEATHER DUKE splashes water on her face and looks up
     into the mirror. In a trance, she pulls her hair back Heather
     Chandler fashion and ties it with the ribbon J.D. gave her.

     A BETTY FINN-A-LIKE moves up to the sink beside her. Two CHIC
     BABES enter the bathroom with pouting expressions. Seemingly
     in a trance, HEATHER DUKE bends over and wipes off her wet hands
     using the oblivious BETTY FINN-A-LIKE's dress. HEATHER DUKE
     winks to the now-giggling CHIC BABES and saunters off.

     INT. HALLWAY--DAY

     HEATHER DUKE bursts through the bathroom door to wickedly
     strut down the hall. She scowls/smiles in perfect Heather
     Chandler fashion to various passers-by.

     ANOTHER HALLWAY--DAY

     Disoriented, VERONICA somnambulates down the hall. She suddenly
     brakes amid the flow of Student traffic to stare at a locker.
     The locker wears a POLICE LINE--DO NOT CROSS sticker. VERONICA
     pulls out a School Spirit Club I.D. Card and moves to the locker.

     With the card, she wrangles the locker open. It contains a
     coat, recognizably Heather Chandler's. On the inside door is a
     sizable mirror, a cute little "HEATHER" license plate, an
     Alexander Haig For President sticker, and a picture of VERONICA
     and the HEATHERS all wearing sunglasses and acting tough.

     VERONICA zeroes in on a three frame Photo Booth picture. In
     the first frame, VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER stare
     stonefaced. In the second frame, the two girls are screaming
     at the top of their lungs. In the third frame, they have
     returned to a stonefaced state. VERONICA touches the picture
     with a quivering smile as two hands flap around her eyes.

                             HEATHER DUKE
               Guess who?

                             VERONICA
               Heather.

     VERONICA turns around, stunned. The Heather Chandleresque
     HEATHER DUKE can be seen in the locker mirror. VERONICA
     violently pushes HEATHER DUKE away and storms off.

     HEATHER DUKE peers in the open locker. A pair of red earrings
     flash out at her. Biting her lip, she reaches for them.

     INT. VERONICA'S BEDROOM--NIGHT

     Lying on the floor, VERONICA concentrates on her phone. With
     a deep sigh, she pushbuttons out a number. She pauses, then...

                             VERONICA
               Ouch. Your machine's got the most
               obnoxious beep. Heather, I'm sorry.

     INT. HEATHER DUKE'S BEDROOM--NIGHT

     VERONICA's voice drones through HEATHER DUKE's answering machine.

                             VERONICA (O.S./machine)
               I'm just calling to say you can
               wear your hair any way you want to.

     A Male hand picks up the phone. It's College boy DAVID.

                             DAVID
               Hey Veronica Sawyer, barf on
               anybody's carpet lately?

     INT. VERONICA'S BEDROOM--NIGHT

     VERONICA cringes.

                             VERONICA
               Is this David? Heather's David?
               What are you doing....

     INT. HEATHER DUKE'S BEDROOM--NIGHT

                             DAVID
               What can I say? I was pretty broken
               up by Heather C.'s suicide. I needed
               somebody super-sensitive like Heather D.

     INT. VERONICA'S BEDROOM--NIGHT

                             VERONICA
               I'm delirious for the both of you.
               Can you put Heather on?

     INT. HEATHER DUKE'S BEDROOM--NIGHT

     DAVID proudly looks down off-screen to his lap.

                             DAVID
               She can't really talk right now.

     INT. VERONICA'S BEDROOM--NIGHT

     VERONICA slams down the receiver and pulls up a sleek leather
     address book. She severely scans through it. Tossing it away,
     VERONICA then descends into the sundry junk of her night
     table drawer and draws up another address book.
     This one is frayed and pink polka-dotted. She peruses it and
     dials.....

                             VERONICA
               Hello, Betty.....

     EXT. SAWYER BACKYARD--LATE AFTERNOON

     BETTY FINN hits her ball through a wicket and squeals in
     delight. VERONICA has a motherly smile on her face.

                             BETTY
               I don't believe it. I'm winning.

                             VERONICA
               Don't get cocky, girl.

     BETTY bends down to shoot then raises her body back up.

                             BETTY
               I missed you. I know I'm not as, as
               exciting as your other friends.

                             VERONICA
               That's bullshit. Just shoot.

     BETTY once again bends and raises.

                             BETTY
               Ronnie, I'm still a virgin. I french-
               kissed Al Springer once but he...

                             VERONICA
                       (warmly)
               Shoot.

     BETTY finally shoots. Feebly.

                             VERONICA
               Betty, your daydreams are a lot
               better than my realities, believe
               me. I'm afraid though it's time to die.

                             BETTY
               Ronnie!

     VEONCIA gigglingly shoots, but misses the wicket. And instead
     hits BETTY's ball. Disturbed by the sudden dilemma, she
     determinedly walks to her ball and moves it away from BETTY's.

                             BETTY
               Hey, you're not settling for the two shots
               are you? Knock me out girl. It's the only way.

                             VERONICA
               It's not my style, okay?

                             BETTY
               Nice guys finish last. I should know.

     VERONICA sighs then knocks BETTY's adjacent ball sailing
     toward the porch and a statuesque Earring-wearing HEATHER
     DUKE, who does not budge as the ball whizzes past her.

                             HEATHER DUKE
               Brav-o!

                             BETTY FINN
                       (nervously)
               I've got to get going, Veronica.

                             VERONICA
               Sure.

     HEATHER DUKE walks toward the girls followed by a meandering
     desultory HEATHER MCNAMARA, who picks up a green mallet and
     fragilely swings it; her early robustness a forgotten memory.

                             HEATHER MCNAMARA
               Croquet won't be the same without Heather.

                             HEATHER DUKE
                       (condescendingly to the passing Betty)
               Oh Betty, leaving so soon...HEY, I'M RED!

     LATER IN THE GAME

     Red ball underfoot, HEATHER DUKE savagely "sends" HEATHER
     MCNAMARA's green ball into the flower bed.

                             HEATHER MCNAMARA
               Shit.

                             HEATHER DUKE
               You know what really bites; when people
               watch that cafeteria stuff on TV and see
               all those Geeks and Metalheads jumping
               around, they're going to think Uncool
               is the Rule at Westerburg.....Damn!

     HEATHER DUKE's shot swerves wide of the wicket.

                             VERONICA
               You're so polluted. Talking down to
               people, making fake notes....

     VERONICA blows her shot.

                             HEATHER DUKE
               I don't see what gives you the right
               to lecture, Ronnie. You were
               soulmates with Betty Finn until you
               realized you're the cover of
               Seventeen magazine and she's the
               before half of a Scarsdale Diet ad.

     HEATHER DUKE bashes her ball into VERONICA's and prepares
     to send it.

                             HEATHER DUKE
               Some people just don't matter. Why
               should those who do carry their
               weight? Am I right?

     As HEATHER DUKE swings down her mallet, VERONICA steps on her
     own ball. When HEATHER DUKE's mallet makes contact, the two
     balls slam against each other, unmoving, with a loud smack.

                             VERONICA
               No, you're wrong. It's not even
               your turn.

     The depressed and disoriented HEATHER MCNAMARA, laying
     against a tree, pipes in.

                             HEATHER MCNAMARA
               She's right.....Boy, croquet's not
               the same without Heather.

                             HEATHER DUKE
                       (shaking out her wrist)
               I don't know what your damage is
               Veronica, but me and Heather are
               going to walk over to the Mall.
               Maybe by the time we head back,
               your tampon'll be flushed.

     As HEATHER DUKE and HEATHER MCNAMARA meander out the back of
     the yard, an annoyed VERONICA revolves back toward the house
     to see J.D. sitting comfortably at the patio table with a
     drink.

                             VERONICA
               Christ, doesn't anybody knock?

                             J.D.
               Mummy and Daddy let me in. So I'm a
               dark horse, huh? You make me blush...

     VERONICA reaches the patio, gently swinging her croquet mallet,
     excited with the thought that J.D. has come to change his ways.

                             VERONICA
               Did you come to tell me something?
               Something nice. Remotely apologetic.

                             J.D.
                       (oblivious)
               How about that Heather Duke, huh? I
               say it's about time we got down to
               doing what we do best.

                             VERONICA
                       (angrily blowing up at her bangs)
               Just finish your drink and get out.

     VERONICA storms to the patio door.

     INT. GYM--DUSK

     Wearing a BigFun T-shirt, MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK sits in
     the bleachers glumly sipping out of a cup of Coke. Cheers and
     shouts can be heard booming around her.

     As she places the cup down beside her, it is revealed MARTHA
     is completely alone in the gym; the others being sad workings
     of her embattled imagination.

     She lifts the cup back up to her mouth but the plastic lid
     pops off and a gush of Coke splashes onto her BigFun T-shirt.

     INT. THE SAWYER LIVING ROOM--DUSK

     With her croquet mallet, VERONICA comes into her house,
     sliding the patio door closed. MOM and DAD are watching a
     video image of PAULINE FLEMING at a cafeteria table.

                             MOM
               Jason's kinda cute for a dark horse.

                             PAULINE (T.V.)
               The Westerburg Suicides were tough on
               all of us, but we shared the pain of
               losing three very popular souls.

                             DAD
               I don't know about that coat he was
               wearing though. Hey, isn't that the
               flake we met at Open House.

     A zombie VERONICA floats past her parents to stare at the T.V.

                             PAULINE (T.V.)
               I came into the cafeteria and
               asked them to hold hands. The
               response was immediate.

     Footage of the frenzied handholding Students unfolds upon the
     screen with no evidence of the calculation behind it.
     PAULINE's sanctimoniously dulcet tones go over the image.

                             PAULINE (V.O./T.V.)
               My mere words liberated the students,
               causing them to open their petals and
               reveal their hopes and fears. By a
               stroke of luck, T.V. cameras were
               fortunate enough to happen to be on
               hand to capture this spontaneous,
               natural emotional outpouring of emotion.

                             VERONICA
               Happened to be on hand....spontaneous
               natural emotional outpouring!

     VERONICA clams up in anger as her parents babble.

                             DAD
               Look there's Heather.

                             MOM
               And there's Heather. Where are
               you, Veronica?

     The video image of PAULINE at a cafeteria table returns.

                             PAULINE (T.V.)
               Whether to commit suicide is the most
               important decision a teenager has to
               make. With supervision from people like
               myself, we can help young people make
               the right decision.

     With her croquet, VERONICA slams the on/off Button and
     turns to her parents.

                             VERONICA
               I'm right here.

     EXT. OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL--DUSK

     MARTHA trudges outside of the school, the coke stain still
     grotesquely encrusted to her BigFun T-shirt. She pins an
     illegible-except-for-the-words-DEAR-WESTERBURG note onto her
     shirt, over the stain. She continues moving toward a street
     of passing cars.

     INT. SAWYER FAMILY/T.V. ROOM--DUSK/NIGHT

     The Sawyer family is on fire. VERONICA yanks the television
     cord from its socket.

                             MOM
               Turn that back on!

                             VERONICA
               Can't you see, these little programs
               eat up suicide with a spoon. They make
               it seem like a cool thing to do.

                             DAD
               If we're not going to watch that
               program, can I put on the game?

                             VERONICA
               Hey kids, make your parents and
               teachers feel like shit! Get the
               respect in death you'll never get
               in life!

                             MOM
               Are you trying to tell me it is not
               a troubled time for the nation's youth?
               Get up off the floor, your dress is
               getting filthy.

                             VERONICA
               Everybody cares about youth, not the
               individual. All we want is to be treated
               like human beings, not like guinea pigs
               to be experimented on and not like
               bunny rabbits to be patronized.

                             DAD
               I do not patronize bunny rabbits.

                             MOM
               Treated like human beings? Is that
               what you said little Miss Voice of
               a Generation? Just how do you think
               adults act with other adults? You
               think it's all just Doubles Tennis.
               Adults can be horrible to other adults.
               When teenagers complain that they
               want to be treated like human beings,
               it's usually because they are being
               treated like human beings.

     VERONICA leans against the wall with a melancholy smile.

                             VERONICA
               I guess I picked the wrong time
               to be a human being.

     MOM is embarassed for getting so involved. She meekly gestures
     to a tray of pate with a compassionate smile.

                             MOM
               You'll live. Want some pate?

     HEATHER DUKE suddenly breezes in the room, out of breath,
     holding various shopping bags.

                             HEATHER DUKE
               Hi everyone, door was open. Have you
               heard, Veronica? We were doing Chinese
               at the Food Fair, right, when they
               come over the radio and say Martha
               Dumptruck tried to buy the farm. She
               bellyflopped in front of a car,
               wearing a suicide note.

                             VERONICA
                       (repulsed)
               Is she dead?

                             HEATHER DUKE
               That's the punchline. She's still
               alive, in stable condition. Another
               case of a geek trying to imitate the
               popular people of the school and
               failing miserably. Is that pate?

     VERONICA slaps HEATHER DUKE in the face.

     INT. VERONICA'S BEDROOM--NIGHT

     HEATHER DUKE paces the room holding an icepack to her jaw.
     VERONICA is glumly sprawled on the ground.

                             VERONICA
               I said I was sorry.

                             HEATHER DUKE
               You are out of control. Heather and
               Kurt were a shock, but Martha
               Dumptruck, get crucial! She dialed
               suicide hotlines in her diapers.