HERCULES

[Artist throws the paints on Phil, making him look like a clown and leaves]

Phil: What do you mean, "what's the point ?" You wanna go to Olympus, don't

ya?

Hercules: Yeah, but this stuff doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere.

[He throws the skin of Skar to Phil]

Phil (wiping the paint off his face with it): You can't give up now, I'm

counting on ya

Hercules: I gave this everything I had.

Phil: Listen to me, kid. I seen 'em all. And I am tellin' you - and this is

the honest-to-Zeus truth - you got somethin' I never seen before

Hercules: Really?

Phil: I can feel it right down to these stubby bowlegs of mine. There is

nothin' you can't do, kid.

[door opens and fan girls scream]

Fan girls: It's him!

Phil: Hey, watch it! Watch it! watch--

Fan gils: I touched his elbow! I got his sweatband!

Hercules: Phil, help!

Phil: Okay, escape plan beta

Hercules: Gotcha.

[Phil blows whistle, fan girls look at him for a moment and Hercules disappears]

Fan girls: Hey! Where is he?

Phil: There he goes! On the verranda!

[Girls run away, Phil too, but when door closes, Megara appears from behind it,

she walks and sees Hercules' toes under a curtain]

Megara: Let's see, what could be behind curtain number one?

Hercules: Meg!

Megara: It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.

Hercules: Gee, i-i-it's great to see you. I-I-I missed you.

Megara (dropping on a couch): So, this is what hgeroes do on their days off

Hercules: I am no hero...

Megara: Sure you are. Everybody in Greece thinks you're the greatest thing

since they put the pocket in pita

Hercules (chuckles): I know. It's-it's crazy you know, I can't go anywhere

without being mobbed, I mean--

Megara: Ah. You sound like you could use a break. Think your nanny goat would

go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon?

Hercules: Oh gee. I-I don't know, uh, Phil's got the rest of the day pretty

much booked.

Megara: Ah, Phil, Shmill.. Just follow me. Out the window, round the dumbbells,

you lift up the back wall and we're gone.

{evening, outdoors}

Hercules: Wow. What a day. First that restaurant by the bay,

Megara: Mmm..

Hercules: and then that, that play, that, that Oedipus thing. Man! I thought

I had problems.

[both chuckle and such, two little birds sitting near turn into Pain and Panic

to speak to Meg]

Panic: Psst! Stop foolin' around!

Pain: Yeah. Get the goods, sister.

[Hercules turns back and they turn into birst and tweet innocently]

Hercules: I didn't know that playing hooky could be so much fun.

Megara: Yeah. Niether did I.

Hercules: Thanks, Meg.

Megara: Oh.. Don't that me just yet. Oh!

[she falls into Hercules' arms]

Hercules: Oop, careful.

Megara: Sorry. Weak ankles.

Hercules: Oh yeah? Well, maybe you better sit down for a while.

[He carries her on a bench and they sit down]

Megara: So, uh, do you have any problems with things like.. this?

[she stretched her leg and holds her foot right before Hercules' face]

Hercules: Uh.....

Megara: Weak ankles, I mean.

Hercules: Oh. Uh, no. Not really.

Megara (moving closer to him): No weaknesses whatsoever? No trick knee?

Hercules: Uh--

Megara (moving even more close): Ruptured... disks?

Hercules: No. I'm I'm afraid I'm, uh.. fit as a fiddle.

[he finally stands up from the bench]

Megara: Wonderboy, you are perfect.

Hercules: Thanks.

[he sends a coin jumping on a water in a fountain and it breaks the arms off

the statue of Venus]

Whoops.

Megara: It looks better that way. No, it really does.

Hercules: You know, when I was a kid I, I would have given anything to be

exactly like everybody else.

Megara: You wanted to be petty and dishonest?

Hercules: Everybody's not like that.

Megara: Yes they are.

Hercules: You're not like that

Megara: How do you know what I'm like?

Hercules: All I know is.. You're the most amazing person with... weak ankles

I've ever met.

[Megara steps back and gets pricked on an arrow of a tiny statue of Amur]

Meg, when I'm with you I-I don't feel so... alone.

Megara: Sometimes it's better to be alone.

Hercules: What do you mean?

Megara: Nobody can hurt you.

Hercules: Meg? I would never ever hurt you.

Megara: And I don't wanna hurt you, so... let's both do ourselves a favor and..

stop this... um.. before... we--

[Their lips met for the kiss, but the moment before it happens bright light

flashes into their eyes. It is Phil, on Pegasus, impersonating police

helicopter]

Phil: All right! Break it up! Break it up! Party's over! I been lookin' all

over this town!

Megara: Calm down, mutton man! It was all my fault.

Phil: You're already on my list, sister, so don't make it worse

[Pegasus snorts at Megara, she snorts back, turning the light off]

Phil: And as for you, ya bum, you're gonna go to the stadium and you're gonna

be put through the workout of your life! Now get on the horse.

Hercules: Okay, okay

Megara: I'm sorry

Hercules: Ah, he'll get over it.

[he bends a huge tree casually and picks a flower off it, gives it to Meg and

kisses her in the cheek]

Phil: Move! Move, move, move, move, move! Move!

(on Pegasus): Whoo! Ya-eee!

Hey, watch it, watch it! Whoo! Watch it! Keep your goo-goo eyes on the

[a branch finally hits Phil and he falls on the ground]

That's it. Next time, I drive.

[Megara sits alone and smells the flower]

Megara: Oh. what's the matter with me? You'd think a girl would learn.

(sings)

If there's a prize for rotten judgement

I guess I've already won that

No man is worth the aggravation

That's ancient history been there, done that.

Muses: Who d'ya think you're kidding? He's the Earth and Heaven to you

Try to keep it hidden, honey, we can see right through you

Megara: Oh, No

Muses: Girl, you can't conceal it