HUDSON HAWK

     Kaplan point blank shoots Alex in the chest.  Alex
     crumples backward, moaning.  Butterfinger, casually, but
     with incredible strength, holds Hawk's arms behind his
     back.

                             HAWK
               No....

                             ALMOND JOY
               That was pretty uncool, George...

                             KAPLAN
               Sorry, you know he kind of reminds
               me of Little Eddie.  But I digress.
               Ah, victory is so sweet....

     Kaplan pulls back the Da Vinci curtain.  Nothing is there.

     THE BALLROOM BANQUET

     A SOVIET CHEF lifts up a silver domed serving tray,
     revealing the Da Vinci helicopter model.

                             MINERVA
               Yum.  This is the best meal I
               ever had...

     ANNA

     bulges her eyes at the revelation.  She pulls out Alex's
     gun and bangs herself in the head.  What to do....

     THE ART TREASURES ROOM

     Kaplan is bugging out.

                             KAPLAN
               Damnit, this isn't the plan!
               Blue light, green light, shit!
               Snickers, Kit Kat, A.J., scramble,
               see if you can find out anything.

     They thunder out.  Hawk, still in Butterfinger's
     oblivious clutches, shouts..

                             HAWK
               Can't you see the Mayflowers
               double-crossed you...

                             KAPLAN
               They may be scum, but if I get the
               Da Vinci model back, then we'll be
               roasting weenies on the beach.

                             HAWK
               I don't think you'll appreciate
               their choice of weenie.

     Kaplan raises his gun.

     THE BALLROOM BANQUET

     Darwin holds the Da Vinci model in one hand and raises
     a glass of vodka in the other.

                             DARWIN
               You're helping us achieve a goal
               and in return, I'm giving you a
               key to the world's executive
               washroom.  Don't piss it away....
               Skoal, amigos...

                              ANNA (O.S.)
               Stop or I'll shoot.

     Minerva and some various Soviet VIPS spew their vodka to
     look up to Anna pointing a gun down at them from the
     second level.  She is shivering, shaking the gun.

                              ANNA
               You people are immoral and
               narcissitic and I won't let you...

     In unison, the Soviet Soldiers surrounding the table
     begin machine gunning up at her.  She dives behind the
     railing.

     THE ART TREASURES ROOM

     Kaplan lowers his gun.

                             KAPLAN
               I can't believe this.  I'm in
               fucking Russia, or do I have to
               say, the fucking Soviet Union and
               I'm shooting a non-Bolshevick.
                       (raising back up
                        his gun)
               I never thought I'd say "I'm just
               in this job for the money."  Sad.
               Any last immature quips?

                             HAWK
               No.
                       (a beat)
               But why do you let Butterfinger
               keep those blood stains on his
               shirt?

     Falling for the oldest trick in the book, Butterfinger
     looks down to his shirt.

                             BUTTERFINGER
               What blood stains....

     Hawk bounces up to savagely head-butt Butterfinger.
     Butterfinger slams back against a wall causing the Gold
     Sickle to fall down around his neck and knock him to the
     ground, pinning his head to the floor.  The Gold Hammer
     next trembles off the wall and crushes Butterfinger's
     skull.

                             HAWK
               You want immature, how 'bout an
               egg fight...

     Hawk flings a Faberge egg, smashing the gun out of Kaplan's
     hand.  Hawk pelts a batch more at him.  Kaplan sloppily
     whips some eggs back.  Hawk finally smashes one in half
     and beans the jagged piece into Kaplan's eye.  He squeals
     to the ground, geysering blood.

     Hawk swoops down to a wheezing, breath controlling Alex.

                             HAWK
               Alex, are you....

                             ALEX
               I can't believe you didn't notice.
               My weight.  I lost ten pounds in
               Rome

                              HAWK
               You're a reed, man.  I gotta get
               Anna.  Hang in there...

     THE BALLROOM

     Bullets stop splintering around Anna at the railing as
     the soldiers fling out their empty cartridges to reload.

     Snickers, Almond Joy, and Kit Kat race out of the hall-
     way area into the ballroom area.  They stop at the sight
     of Anna....

                             ALMOND JOY
               Anna-bannana-fo-fanna, I guess I
               have to cut out your heart for
               real now.  It's not personal.

     Anna feebly raises her gun.  Almond Joy laughs and
     pulls out a knife.

                             ALMOND JOY
               You won't shoot.  I read your
               dossier... Sister.

     The Soviet Soldiers snap in new cartridges as Almond Joy
     moves out from behind the pillar towards Anna.  The
     Soldiers blast away at this newly appearing figure.

     Almond Joy ruptures and vibrates in a Sonny Corleone
     ballet.

                             ALMOND JOY
               I gotta get a new job...

     Snickers and Kit Kat militarily roll on either side of
     Anna as their partner wilts to the ground.  The men,
     Snickers with his mini-Uzi, Kit Kat with his cross-
     bow rifle, briefly leap up to fire down at the soldiers
     with some graphic success.

     Anna watches Darwin and Minerva head up the stairs to
     her level.  She bolts off....

     BALLROOM FLOOR

     The last of the Soviet VIPS flee as the Soldiers tip
     over the M shaped table on its side, using it for
     cover, firing upward.

     KIT KAT

     breaks off and scurries around the second level to get
     a position behind the M.

     He fires down an arrow for a successful kill.  Another
     guard tries to fire up, but Kit Kat impales him to the
     back of the table with a quality shot.

     Kit Kat grins and reloads as Alfred, the butler, regally
     creeps behind him.

     HAWK

     comes out of the long hallway double doors up to where
     Anna is bustling.  They hug...

                             ANNA
               The Mayflowers got...

     Hawk and Anna turn to see the Mayflowers hastening in
     their direction.  Noticing them back, the model-toting
     Mayflowers halt.

     KIT KAT

     turns to Alfred and fires his crossbow.  Alfred effort-
     lessly cuts it in half with his blade and continues
     to move forward.  Still smiling, Kit Kat tries to reload.

     MINERVA

     breaks the standstill.

                             DARWIN
               What a pleasant surprise.  You're
               probably wondering...

                             HAWK
               But you're going to tell us
               anyway...

                             MINERVA
               I hate a man with a sense of
               humor.  While you corn dogs were
               comparing the lengths of your
               masculinity, we obtained the
               helicopter the new fashioned
               way: a thoroughly corrupt business
               deal.

                             HAWK
               If you think you're getting past
               me...

     Grunting behind them, Snickers gun-butts Hawk to the
     ground.

                             HAWK
               Don't be stupid...they...

                             SNICKERS
               Bastard!  If you were a true
               American.

                             HAWK
               Just shut up and hit me!

     Snickers swings a punch.  Hawk blocks it then whomps
     him in the chest.

     As they battle, Darwin grabs Anna's hair, slams her
     into a pillar, and watches her crumple.

     KIT KAT

     gets in an arrow but it's too late.  Alfred stabs
     him deep, deep, deeply, and lifts him from the ground.

     A shower of cards reading "OUCH" "PAIN" and "THIS REALLY
     HURTS" rain from out of Kit Kat's coat.

     Alfred discards him over the edge.

     Kit Kat sails down upon the M.

     The lone card of "FUCK" plops from his open eyed corpse.

     HAWK

     and Snickers trades fierce blows, stumbling down a
     staircase.

     DARWIN

     and Minerva watch the fight with amusement.  Alfred
     approaches.

                             DARWIN
               Alfred, the getaway car...

     SNICKERS

     slashes Hawk in the arm with a small but sinister blade.

                             HAWK
               Damnit, I hate this!  I'm a cat
               burglar!  Nobody said anything
               about this fight-to-the-death
               shit.

                             SNICKERS
               Too bad.

     Snickers goes for a final thrust when suddenly one of the
     silencer time bombs suctions to his head.

     Hawk turns to see Alex, barely standing, at the top of
     the stairs, holding the strange rifle.

     Darwin and Minerva turn to this dramatic entrance.  They
     start to trot off...

                             MINERVA
               I knew it!  I told you it was a
               fake.

                             DARWIN
               That New-York-Italian-Father-
               made-twenty-bucks-a-week-son-
               of-a-bitch.  What was our bet?  A
               million?

                             MINERVA
               Million five, lover...

     HAWK

     boots Snickers down the stairs.  Snickers somersaults
     up and frantically tries to pull off the bomb.

     Snickers wails to the soldiers, who have lowered their
     guns and are poking their heads out of the M to watch.

                             SNICKERS
               Help me you Democratic Reform
               lovers!  Get a screwdriver, you
               Stupid Eskimoes!  Screw-dri-ver!
               Oh God, I always wanted to know
               how to play the harp, there
               just was so little time!  Rosebud!

     The soldiers high-tail it out.  Snickers plugs his ears.
     Nothing happens.

                             SNICKERS
               Maybe it was just a....

     Snickers blows up gloriously before the M.

     THE STAIRCASE

     Hawk bounds up to Alex, who puffs down onto the steps.

                             ALEX
               Get 'em.  They went down the
               hallway.

                             HAWK
               Let's just forget it, I mean...

                             ALEX
               Get em....

     Hawk rushes up the. stairs, gives a "What can I do?" glance
     to the unconscious Anna, and then continues rushing, past
     a pillar.  Minerva emerges from behind the pillar and
     moves forward.

     THE LONG ENIGMATIC HALLWAY

     Hawk chugs beneath the Lenin mural and down the hall-
     way.  He sees Darwin breezing in front of him.  Darwin
     looks back to Hawk then runs forward into the darkness.

     THE BALLROOM

     Minera sits down next to the pained Alex.