THE LITTLE MERMAID

THE LITTLE MERMAID  

     (An ocean. Birds are flying and porpoises are swimming happily.
  From the fog a ship appears crashing through the waves)

Sailors: I'll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue
  And it's hey to the starboard, heave ho
  Look out, lad, a mermaid be waitin' for you
  In mysterious fathoms below.
Eric: Isn't this great?  The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face . . .
  a perfect day to be at sea!
Grimsby: (Leaning over side.) Oh yes . . . delightful . . . .
Sailor 1: A fine strong wind and a following sea.  King Triton must be in a
  friendly-type mood.
Eric: King Triton?
Sailor 2: Why, ruler of the merpeople, lad.  Thought every good sailor knew
  about him.
Grimsby: Merpeople!  Eric, pay no attention to this nautical nonsense.
Sailor 2: But it ain't nonsense, it's the truth!  I'm tellin' you, down in the
  depths o' the ocean they live. (He gestures wildly, Fish in his hand flops
  away and lands back in the ocean, relieved.)
Sailors: Heave. ho. Heave, ho. In mysterious fathoms below. (Fish sighs and
  swims away.)

     (Titles. Various fish swimming. Merpeople converge on a great undersea
palace, filling concert hall inside. Fanfare ensues.)

Seahorse: Ahem . . . His royal highness, King Triton! (Triton enters
  dramatically to wild cheering.) And presenting the distinguished court
  composer, Horatio Thelonious Ignatius Crustaceous Sebastian! (Sebastian
  enters to mild applause.)
Triton: I'm really looking forward to this performance, Sebastian.
Sebastian: Oh, Your Majesty, this will be the finest concert I have ever con-
  ducted.  Your daughters - they will be spectacular!
Triton: Yes, and especially my little Ariel.
Sebastian: Yes, yes, she has the most beautiful voice. . . .  [sotto] If only
  she'd show up for rehearsals once in a while. . . . (He proceeds to podium
  and begins to direct orchestra.)
Triton's daughters: Ah, we are the daughters of Triton.
  Great father who loves us and named us well:
  Aquata, Andrina, Arista, Atina, Adella, Allana.
  And then there is the youngest in her musical debut,
  Our seventh little sister, we're presenting her to you,
  To sing a song Sebastian wrote, her voice is like a bell,
  She's our sister, Ar-i . . .
  (Shell opens to reveal that Ariel is absent.)
Triton: (Very angry.) Ariel!!

      (Cut to Ariel looking at sunken ship.)

Flounder: (From distance.) Ariel, wait for me . . .
Ariel: Flounder, hurry up!
Flounder: (Catching up.) You know I can't swim that fast.
Ariel: There it is.  Isn't it fantastic?
Flounder: Yeah . . . sure . . . it - it's great.  Now let's get outta here.
Ariel: You're not getting cold fins now, are you?
Flounder: Who, me?  No way.  It's just, it, err . . . it looks - damp in there.
  Yeah.  And I think I may be coming down with something.  Yeah, I got this
  cough. (Flounder coughs unconvincingly)
Ariel: All right.  I'm going inside.  You can just stay here and - watch for
  sharks. (She goes inside.)
Flounder: O.K.  Yeah - you go.  I'll stay and - what?  Sharks!  Ariel!
  (He tries to fit through porthole.) Ariel . . . I can't . . . I mean-
  Ariel help!
Ariel: (Laughs.) Oh, Flounder.
Flounder: (Wispering.)Ariel, do you really think there might be sharks around
  here? (Shark passes outside.)
Ariel: Flounder, don't be such a guppy.
Flounder: I'm not a guppy. (Gets pulled through porthole.)This is great - I
  mean, I really love this.  Excitement, adventure, danger lurking around
  every corn- YAAAAHHHHHHHH!! Ariel!! (He sees a skull, crashes into pillar
  causing cave in, and swims frantically away, knocking over Ariel.)
Ariel: Oh, are you okay?
Flounder: Yeah sure, no problem, I'm okay . . .
Ariel: Shhh . . . (Seeing a fork.) Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Have you ever
  seen anything so wonderful in your entire life?
Flounder: Wow, cool!  But, err, what is it?
Ariel: I don't know.  But I bet Scuttle will.
  (Puts fork in bag. Skark swims by outside.)
Flounder: What was that? Did you hear something?
Ariel: (Distracted by pipe.) Hmm, I wonder what this one is?
Flounder: Ariel . .
Ariel: Flounder, will you relax. Nothing is going to happen.
Flounder: (Seeing Shark looming behind him.) AAHHHH!! Run!! Run!! We're
  gonna die!! (Shark chases them all around. Ariel's bag is hung up. She
  goes back for it. Shark almost gets them. They head for porthole.) Oh No!!
  (They crash through and go round and round. Flounder gets knocked silly
  but Ariel saves him and traps Shark) You big bully. THBBBTTTT . . .
  (Shark snaps at him and he swims away.)
Ariel: (Laughing.) Flounder, you really are a guppy.
Flounder: I am not.

     (On surface. Scuttle on his island humming and looking through his
telescope.)

Ariel: Scuttle!
Scuttle: (Looking through the telescope the wrong way, shouting.) Whoa!
   Mermaid off the port bow! Ariel, how you doin' kid? (Lowers telescope to
   reveal Ariel at wing's length.) Whoa, what a swim!
Ariel: Scuttle - look what we found.
Flounder: Yeah - we were in this sunken ship - it was really creepy.
Scuttle: Human stuff, huh?  Hey, lemme see. (Picks up fork.) Look at this.
  Wow - this is special - this is very, very unusual.
Ariel: What?  What is it?
Scuttle: It's a dinglehopper! Humans use these little babies . . . to
  straighten their hair out. See - just a little twirl here an' a yank
  there and - voiolay!  You got an aesthetically pleasing configuration
  of hair that humans go nuts over!
Ariel: A dinglehopper!
Flounder: What about that one?
Scuttle: (Holding pipe) Ah - this I haven't seen in years.  This is wonderful!
  A banded, bulbous - snarfblat.
Ariel and Flounder: Oohhh.
Scuttle: Now, the snarfblat dates back to prehistorical times, when humans used
  to sit around, and stare at each other all day.  Got very boring.  So, they
  invented the snarfblat to make fine music.  Allow me.
  (Scuttle blows into the pipe; seaweed pops out the other end.)
Ariel: Music?  Oh, the concert! Oh my gosh, my father's gonna kill me!
Flounder: The concert was today?
Scuttle: (Still contemplating pipe.) Maybe you could make a little planter
  out of it or somethin'.
Ariel: Uh, I'm sorry, I've gotta go. Thank you Scuttle. (Waves.)
Scuttle: Anytime sweetie, anytime.

     (Cut to Flotsam and Jetsam, then Ursula in background watching magic
projection of Ariel swimming.)

Ursula: Yeeeeeees, hurry home, princess.  We wouldn't want to miss old daddy's
  celebration, now, would we?  Huh!  Celebration indeed.  Bah!  In MY day, we
  had fantastical feasts when I lived in the palace.  And now, look at me -
  wasted away to practically nothing - banished and exiled and practically
  starving, while he and his flimsy fish-folk celebrate.  Well, I'll give 'em
  something to celebrate soon enough.  Flotsam!  Jetsam!  I want you to keep an
  extra close watch on this pretty little daughter of his.  She may be the key
  to Triton's undoing. . . .

     (Fade to the palace throne room where Ariel is being admonished.)

Triton: I just don't know what we're going to do with you, young lady.
Ariel: Daddy, I'm sorry, I just forgot, I -
Triton: As a result of your careless behaviour -
Sebastian: Careless and reckless behaviour!
Triton: - the entire celebration was, er -
Sebastian: Well, it was ruined!  That's all.  Completely destroyed! This
  concert was to be the pinnacle of my distinguished career. Now thanks to
  you I am the laughing stock of the entire kingdom!
Flounder: But it wasn't her fault! Ah - well - first, ahh, this shark chased us
  - yeah - yeah!  And we tried to - but we couldn't - and - grrrrrrrrr - and -
  and we - whoooaaaaaa - oh, and then we were safe. But then this seagull came,
  and it was this is this, and that is that, and -
Triton: Seagull?  What?  Oh - you went up to the surface again, didn't you?
  DIDN'T YOU?
Ariel: Nothing - happened. . . .
Triton: Oh, Ariel, How many times must we go through this?  You could've been
  seen by one of those barbarians - by - by one of those humans!
Ariel: Daddy, they're not barbarians!
Triton: They're dangerous.  Do you think I want to see my youngest daughter
  snared by some fish-eater's hook?
Ariel: I'm sixteen years old - I'm not a child anymore -
Triton: Don't you take that tone of voice with me young lady.  As long as you
  live under my ocean, you'll obey my rules!
Ariel: But if you would just listen -
Triton: Not another word - and I am never, NEVER to hear of you going to the
  surface again.  Is that clear? (Ariel leaves, crying.)
Sebastian: Hm! Teenagers. . . .  They think they know everything.  You give
  them an inch, they swim all over you.
Triton: Do you, er, think I - I was too hard on her?
Sebastian: Definitely not.  Why, if Ariel was my daughter, I'd show her who was
  boss.  None of this "flitting to the surface" and other such nonsense.  No,
  sir - I'd keep her under tight control.
Triton: You're absolutely right, Sebastian.
Sebastian: Of course.
Triton: Ariel needs constant supervision.
Sebastian: Constant.
Triton: Someone to watch over her - to keep her out of trouble.
Sebastian: All the time -
Triton: And YOU are just the crab to do it.

     (Cut to Sebastian walking down corridor.)

Sebastian: How do I get myself into these situations?  I should be writing
  symphonies - not tagging along after some headstrong teenager. (Sees Ariel
  and Flounder sneaking off and follows.) Hmm? What is that girl up to? (He
  barely makes it into cave and sees Ariel's collection.) Huh?
Flounder: Ariel, are you okay?
Ariel: If only I could make him understand.  I just don't see things the way he
  does. I don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things - could be
  bad.

   Look at this stuff
   Isn't it neat?
   Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
   Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
   The girl who has ev'rything?
   Look at this trove
   Treasures untold
   How many wonders can one cavern hold?
   Lookin' around here you'd think
   Sure, she's got everything

   I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty
   I've got whozits and whatzits galore
   (You want thingamabobs?
   I got twenty)
   But who cares?
   No big deal
   I want more