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MAX

Yes.

LOUISE

I won't give you up easily, Max.

He struggles to restrain his tears. She releases herself from his embrace.

LOUISE

I think the best thing is if you did move out. Does she love you, Max?

MAX

I'm not sure she's capable of any real feelings. She's the television generation. She learned life from Bugs Bunny. The only reality she knows is what comes over her teevee set. She has devised a variety of scenarios for us all to play, as if it were a Movie of the Week. And, my God!, look at us, Louise. Here we are going through the obligatory middle-of-Act-Two scorned wife throws peccant husband out scene. But, no fear, I'll come back home in the end. All her plot outlines have me leaving her and returning to you because the audience won't buy a rejection of the happy American family. She does have one script in which I kill myself, an adapted for television version of Anna Karenina in which she's Count Vronsky and I'm Anna.

LOUISE

You're in for some dreadful grief, Max.

MAX

I know.

INT. UBS BUILDING – N.Y. – DIANA'S OFFICE, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1975

Diana, murmuring into her squawk box and, at the same time, putting last minute things into a weekend bag. She is ebullient –

DIANA

(on squawk box)

... I know what NBC offered them, Marty, so I'm saying go to three point five, and I want an option for a third run on all of them... Marty, I'm in a big hurry, and you and Charlie are supposed to be negotiating this, so goodbye and good luck, and I'll see you Monday...

Clicks off her squawk box, snaps her weekend bag shut, whisks her sheep wool-lined coat out of her closet and strides out into –

INT. DIANA'S SECRETARY'S OFFICE

Where there is no one sitting, and continues out into –
 

INT. PROGRAMMING DEPARTMENT – COMMON ROOM

Where a few SECRETARIES are still at their desks. Tommy Pellegrino is just coming out of his office –

PELLEGRINO

(calls to Diana)

Jimmy Caan's agent just called and says absolutely nix.

DIANA

(striding across the room)

You can't win them all.

PELLEGRINO

Where can I reach you later today?

DIANA

(exiting)

You can't. I'll be gone all weekend.

Pellegrino turns to Barbara Schlesinger now poking her head out of her office –

PELLEGRINO

I think the Dragon Lady got herself a dragon fellow.

SCHLESINGER

Poor bastard.

EXT. UBS BUILDING – SIXTH AVENUE – AFTERNOON – DAY

Diana, now wearing her sheep wool-lined coat and carrying her weekend bag, comes striding happily out through the entrance doors, heads for 55th Street, spots a double-parked car, and heads heedless of traffic across the street to –

EXT. 55TH STREET – DAY

Max Schumacher in a rented Chevy, leaning across to open the door for her. She slips into the front seat, slams the door shut, nestles her head on Max's over-coated shoulder, as he starts the ignition –

DIANA

(happy and in love)

NBC's offering three point two and a half mil per for a package of five James Bond pictures, and I think I'm going to steal them for three point five with a third run –

They move out into the heavy traffic of Sixth Avenue –
 

EXT. DESERTED BEACH IN THE HAMPTONS – DUSK

Traditional lyric love scene. The two mackinawed lovers walking hand-in-hand on a lovely stretch of deserted winter beach. The tide is coming in –

DIANA

(bubbling)

The vigilante show is sold firm. Ford took a complete position at, so help me, five-fifty CPM. In fact, I'm moving the vigilante show to nine and I'm going to stick the Mao Tse Tung Hour in at eight because we're having a lot of trouble selling the Mao Tse Tung Hour. This way we give it a terrific lead-in from the Howard Beale Show and we'll back into the vigilantes, and it certainly ought to carry its own time slot –

INT. A ROMANTIC LITTLE ITALIAN RESTAURANT

The obligatory Italian restaurant, checkered table-cloth, candles, wine, etc. Diana and Max at dinner, utterly rapt in each other –

DIANA

(pouring out her heart)

That Mao Tse Tung Hour is turning into one big pain in the ass. We're having heavy legal problems with the federal government right now. Two FBI guys turned up in Hackett's office last week and served us with a subpoena. They heard about our Flagstaff bank rip-off film, and they want it. We're getting around that by doing the show in collaboration with the News Division, so Hackett told the FBI to fuck off; we're standing on the First Amendment, freedom of the press, and the right to protect our sources –

EXT. MOTOR COURT – NIGHT

Diana and Max getting out of their car and heading for one of the ground-level rooms, Max unlocking the door –

DIANA

(chirping merrily along)

– Walter thinks we can knock out the misprision of felony charge –

They go into –
 

INT. MOTOR COURT – THEIR ROOM

Max flicks the light on, kicks the door shut, and they are instantly into each other's arms in a passionate embrace.

DIANA

– but he says absolutely nix on going to series. They'll hit us with inducement and conspiracy to commit a crime –

She busily removes her shoes and unbuttons her blouse and whisks out of her slacks; and, down to her bikini panties, she is now scouring the walls for a thermostat.

DIANA

Christ, it's cold in here –

(she turns up the heat)

You see we're paying these nuts from the Ecumenical Liberation Army ten thousand bucks a week to bring in authentic film footage on their revolutionary activities, and that constitutes inducement to commit a crime; and Walter says we'll all wind up in federal prison –

Nubile and nearly naked, she entwines herself around Max, who, by now, has stripped down to his trousers; and the two hungering bodies slide down onto the bed where they commence an affable moment of amative foreplay –

DIANA

(efficiently unbuckling and unzippering Max's trousers)

– I said: "Walter, let the government sue us! We'll take them to the Supreme Court! We'll be front page for months! The Washington Post and the New York Times will be doing two editorials a week about us! We'll have more press than Watergate!"

Groping, grasping, gasping and fondling, they contrive to denude each other, and, in a fever of sexual hunger, Diana mounts Max, and the SCREEN is filled with the voluptuous writhings of love, Diana crying out with increasing exultancy –

DIANA

(in the throes of passion)

– All I need – is six weeks of federal litigation – and the Mao Tse Tung Hour – can start carrying its own time slot!

She screams in consummation, sighs a long, deliciously shuddering sigh, and sinks softly down into Max's embrace. For a moment, she rests her head on Max's chest, eyes closed in feline contentment.

DIANA

(after a moment, she purrs)

What's really bugging me now is my daytime programming. NBC's got a lock on daytime with their lousy game shows, and I'd like to bust them. I'm thinking of doing a homosexual soap opera – The Dykes – the heart-rending saga of a woman helplessly in love with her husband's mistress. What do you think? –

NARRATOR

The Mary Ann Gifford pilot movie went on the air March 14th –

EXT. A SMALL ISOLATED FARMHOUSE IN ENCINO – NIGHT

A black LIMOUSINE winds its way up the dirt road to the front porch, where the car is halted and checked out by an armed guard (DOWLING) –

NARRATOR

– It received a 47 share in its first hour, climbing to a 51 during its second hour –

Slivers of lights slither out from behind the drawn shades of the farmhouse, and we can hear the sounds of ANGRY VOICES.

TWO AGENTS from ICM disgorge from the limousine – a young man in his early 30's, FREDDIE, carrying a large manila envelope, and a fat young woman in her mid-30's, HELEN MIGGS, carrying an attach‚ case –

NARRATOR

– showing sustained and increasing audience interest. The network promptly committed to fifteen shows –

MIGGS and FREDDIE go up the porch and into –
 

INT. THE FARMHOUSE – ENTRANCE FOYER

Cartons, crates, newspapers, scraps of food, torn grocery bags, stacks of pamphlets, cases of weapons and ammunition, broken furniture and sleeping bags are littered every which way about. There seems to be some sort of conference going on in the living room, off screen left –

NARRATOR

– with an option for ten more –

As the TWO ICM AGENTS head for the living room, we can see Laureen Hobbs and the three William Norris agents, WALLIE, LENNIE and ED, perhaps remembered from earlier scenes. We can also see the Great Ahmed Khan, still wearing his shako, Mary Ann Gifford, still wearing her bandoliers of bullets, and OTHER MEMBERS of the Khan's group in fatigues and bearing arms. There is also a middle-aged LAWYER from ICM named WILLIE STEIN. Everybody – with the exception of the Great Khan's retinue – is seated on broken chairs and cartons and crates –

NARRATOR

– There were, of course, the usual production difficulties –

Everybody in the living room conference is studying 80-page contracts from which one of the agents (WALLIE) is reading –

WALLIE

(mumbling along)

– "herein called either 'the Production Fee' or 'overhead' equal to twenty percent two-oh, except such percentage shall be thirty percent three-oh for ninety minute or longer television programs –

INT. THE FARMHOUSE – LIVING ROOM

STEIN

(a nervous man, to the new arrivals, now entering)

Where the hell have you been?

MIGGS

(embracing the Great Khan)

Ahmed, sweet, that dodo you sent for a driver couldn't find this fucking place.

There is a genial exchange of helloes and waves between the phalanxes of AGENTS –

STEIN

Let's get on with this before they raid this place, and we all wind up in the joint.

ED

(to Freddie now pulling up a crate)

We're on Schedule A, page seven, small c small i –

MIGGS

(whisking through her copy of the contract)

Have we settled that sub-licensing thing? We want a clear definition here. Gross proceeds should consist of all funds the sublicensee receives not merely the net amount remitted after payment to sublicensee or distributor.

STEIN

We're not sitting still for over-head charges as a cost prior to distribution.

LAUREEN

(whose nerves have worn thin, explodes:)

Don't fuck with my distribution costs! I'm getting a lousy two-fifteen per segment, and I 'm already deficiting twenty-five grand a week with Metro. I'm paying William Morris ten percent off the top!

(indicates the Great Khan)

– And I'm giving this turkey ten thou a segment and another five for this fruitcake –

(meaning Mary Ann Gifford)

And, Helen, don't start no shit with me about a piece again! I'm paying Metro twenty percent of all foreign and Canadian distribution, and that's after recoupment! The Communist Party's not going to see a nickel out of this goddam show until we go into syndication!

MIGGS

Come on, Laureen, you've got the party in there for seventy-five hundred a week production expenses.

LAUREEN

I'm not giving this pseudo insurrectionary sectarian a piece of my show! I'm not giving him script approval! And I sure as shit ain't cutting him in on my distribution charges I

MARY ANN GIFFORD

(screaming in from the back)

Fuggin fascist! Have you seen the movies we took at the San Marino jail break-out demonstrating the rising up of a seminal prisoner-class infrastructure!

LAUREEN

You can blow the seminal prisoner-class infrastructure out your ass! I'm not knocking down my goddam distribution charges!

The Great Khan decides to offer an opinion by SHOOTING his PISTOL off into the air. This gives everybody something to consider, especially Willie Stein who almost has a heart attack.

THE GREAT KHAN

Man, give her the fucking over-head clause.

STEIN

How did I get here? Who's going to believe this? I'm sitting here in a goddam farm in Encino at ten o'clock at night negotiating over-head charges with cowboys!