NOTTING HILL

    WILLIAM
  I think you have forgotten...
   (he looks at them)
  what an unusual situation you have
  here -- to find someone you actually
  love, who'll love you -- the chances
  are... always miniscule.  Look at me
  -- not counting the American -- I've
  only loved two girls in my whole life,
  both total disasters.

    MAX
  That's not fair.

    WILLIAM
  No really, one of them marries me and
  then leaves me quicker than you can
  say Indiana Jones -- and the other,
  who seriously ought to have known
  better, casually marries my best
  friend.

    BELLA
   (pause)
  Still loves you though.

    WILLIAM
  In a depressingly asexual way.

    BELLA
   (pause)
  I never fancied you much actually...

 They all roar with laughter.

    BELLA
  I mean I loved you -- you were terribly
  funny.  But all that kissing my ears...

    WILLIAM
  Oh no -- this is just getting worse.
  I am going to find myself, 30 years
  from now, still on this couch.

    BELLA
  Do you want to stay?

    WILLIAM
  Why not -- all that awaits me at home
  is a masturbating Welshman.

 Music starts to play to take us through these silent scenes.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 Max lifts Bella off her couch and carries her upstairs.

 Mix through -- William sits on the couch downstairs -- eyes wide
 open -- thinking.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - DAY

 Morning.  Max, all in his suit for the city... Bella kisses him
 goodbye.  William sees this from the kitchen.  She is also
 dressed for work -- and moves back into the kitchen to pack her
 briefcase with law books from the kitchen table.

 EXT. MAX AND BELLA'S HOUSE - DAY

 William emerges from the house, a little ruffled from a night
 away from home, a heads off.

 EXT. NEWSAGENT - DAY

 William walks past the newsagent, heading for home.  We see,
 though he doesn't, a rack of tabloid papers, all of which seem
 to have very grainy, grabbed pictures of Anna on their front
 page.  Headlines --'Anna Stunna'-- 'It's Definitely Her!'
 and 'Scott of Pantartica.'

 INT. WILLIAM'S BATHROOM - DAY

 William is shaving.  The bell goes.  He heads out to answer it.

 EXT./INT. WILLIAM'S HOUSE -DAY

 William arrives at the door and opens it.  There stands a dark-
 glassed Anna.

    ANNA
  Hi.  Can I come in?

    WILLIAM
  Come in.

 She moves inside.  Her hair is a mess -- her eyes are tired.
 Nothing idealized.

 INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

 The two of them.

    ANNA
  They were taken years ago -- I know
  it was... well, I was poor and it
  happens a lot -- that's not an excuse
  -- but to make things worse, it now
  appears someone was filming me as
  well.  So what was a stupid photo-
  shoot now looks like a porno film.
  And well... the pictures have been
  solid and they're everywhere.

 William shakes his head.

    ANNA
  I don't know where to go.  The hotel
  is surrounded.

    WILLIAM
  This is the place.

    ANNA
  Thank you.  I'm just in London for two
  days -- but, with your papers, it's the
  worse place to be.

 She's very shaken.

    ANNA
  These are such horrible pictures. 
  They're so grainy... they make me
  look like...

    WILLIAM
  Don't think about it.  We'll sort it
  out.  Now what would you like -- tea
  ... bath...?

    ANNA
  A bath would be great.

 INT. WILLIAM'S CORRIDOR - DAY

 Spike enters through the front door.  William doesn't hear him.
 Spike is reading newspapers with the Anna pictures in it.

    SPIKE
  Christ alive... brilliant... fantastic
  .... magnificent...

 He heads up the stairs.  Opens the bathroom door, walks in.

 INT. WILLIAM'S BATHROOM - DAY

 Spike heads for the toilet -- undoes his zip...

    ANNA
  You must be Spike.

 She's in the bath.  Spike turns in shock -- and sidles out of the
 bathroom.

 INT. WILLIAM'S CORRIDOR - DAY

 Spike calms himself down.  He then opens the bathroom door
 again -- and looks in.

 INT. WILLIAM'S BATHROOM - DAY

 Anna is still lying low in the bath.

    ANNA
  Hi.

    SPIKE
  Just checking.

 INT. CORRIDOR - DAY

 Spike comes back out into the corridor.  Looks to heaven.

    SPIKE
  Thank you, God.

 INT. WILLIAM'S KITCHEN - DAY

 William and Anna at the kitchen table, eating toast, dringking
 tea.

    ANNA
  I'm really sorry about last time.  He
  just flew in -- I had no idea -- in fact,
  I had no idea if he'd ever fly in again.

    WILLIAM
  No, that's fine.  It's not often one
  has the opportunity to adios the plates
  of a major Hollywood star.  It was a
  thrill for me.
   (she smiles.  Pause)
  How is he?

    ANNA
  I don't know.  It got to the point where
  I couldn't remember any of the reasons
  I loved him.  And you... and love?

    WILLIAM
  Well, there's a question -- without
  an interesting answer.

    ANNA
  I have thought about you.

    WILLIAM
  Oh no no -- no.

 He doesn't think she has to talk about this.

    ANNA
  Just anytime I've tried to keep
  things normal with anyone normal --
  it's been a disaster.

    WILLIAM
  I appreciate that absolutely.
   (changing subject
    tactfully)
  Is that the film you're doing?

    ANNA
  Yes -- start in L.A. on Tuesday.

    WILLIAM
  Would you like me to take you through
  your lines?

    ANNA
  Would you?  It's all talk, talk, talk.

    WILLIAM
  Hand it over.  Basic plot?

    ANNA
  I'm a difficult but brilliant junior
  officer who in about twenty minutes
  will save the world from nuclear
  disaster.

    WILLIAM
  Well done you.

 EXT. TERRACE - DAY

 A little later.  They're in the thick of the script.

    WILLIAM
  'Message from command.  Would you like
  them to send in the HKs?'

    ANNA
  'No, turn over 4 TRS's and tell them we
  need radar feedback before the KFT's
  return at 19 hundred -- then inform the
  Pentagon that we'll be needing black
  star cover from ten hundred through
  12.15' -- and don't you dare say one
  word about how many mistakes I made in
  that speech or I'll pelt you with
  olives.

    WILLIAM
  'Very well, captain -- I'll pass that
  on straightaway.'

    ANNA
  'Thank you.'  How many mistake did I
  make?

    WILLIAM
  Eleven.

    ANNA
  Damn.  'And Wainwright...'

    WILLIAM
  Cartwright.

    ANNA
  'Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever
  your name is, I promised little Jimmy
  I'd be home for his birthday -- could
  you get a message through that I may
  be a little late.'

    WILLIAM
  'Certainly.  And little Johnny?'

    ANNA
  My son's name is Johnny?

    WILLIAM
  Yup.

    ANNA
  Well, get a message through to him
  too.

    WILLIAM
  Brilliant.
   (the scene's over)
  Word perfect I'd say.

    ANNA
  What do you think?

    WILLIAM
  Gripping.  It's not Jane Austen, it's
  not Henry James, but it's gripping.

    ANNA
  You think I should do Henry James
  instead?

    WILLIAM
  I'm sure you'd be great in Henry James.
  But, you know -- this writer's pretty
  damn good too.

    ANNA
  Yes -- I mean -- you never get anyone
  in 'Wings of a Dove' having the nerve
  to say 'inform the Pentagon that we
  need black star cover.'

    WILLIAM
  And I think the book is the poorer for
  it.

 Anna smiles her biggest smile of the day.  He is helping.

 INT. WILLIAM'S DINING ROOM

 Anna and William.  Sat down at table.  There's a picture
 hanging on the wall behind.

    ANNA
  I can't believe you have that picture
  on your wall.

 It is a poster of a Chagall painting of a floating wedding couple,
 with a goat as company.

    WILLIAM
  You like Chagall?

    ANNA
  I do.  It feels like how being in love
  should be.  Floating through a dark
  blue sky.

    WILLIAM
  With a goat playing a violin.

    ANNA
  Yes -- happiness wouldn't be happiness
  without a violin-playing goat.

 Spike enters with three pizzas.

    SPIKE
  Voila.  Carnival Calypso, for the
  Queen of Notting Hill -- pepperoni,
  pineapple and a little more
  pepperoni.

    ANNA
  Fantastic.

    WILLIAM
  I don't mention that Anna's a
  vegetarian, did I?

    SPIKE
   (pause)
  I have some parsnip stew from last week.
  If I just peel the skin off, it'll be
  perfect.

 INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 Later in the evening.  William and Anna on their own.  They're
 sipping coffee.  A few seconds of just co-existing.  Anna looks
 up.

    ANNA
  You've got big feet.

    WILLIAM
  Yes.  Always have had.