NOTTING HILL

    ANNA
  You know what they say about men with
  big feet?

    WILLIAM
  No.  What's that?

    ANNA
  Big feet -- large shoes.

 He laughs.

 INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 A few hours later -- eating ice-cream out of the tub.

    ANNA
  The thing that's so irritating is that
  now I'm so totally fierce when it comes
  to nudity clauses.

    WILLIAM
  You actually have clauses in your
  contact about nudity?

    ANNA
  Definitely.  'You may show the dent at
  the top of the artist's buttocks -- but
  neither cheek.  In the event of a stunt
  person being used, the artist must have
  full consultation.'

    WILLIAM
  You have a stunt bottom?

    ANNA
  I could have a stunt bottom, yes.

    WILLIAM
  Would you be tempted to go for a
  slightly better bottom than your own?

    ANNA
  Definitely.  Ths is important stuff.

    WILLIAM
  It's one hell of a job.  What do you put
  on your passport?  Profession -- Mel
  Gibson's bottom.

    ANNA
  Actually, Mel does his own ass work.
  Why wouldn't he?  It's delicious.

    WILLIAM
  The ice cream or Mel Gibson's bottom?

    ANNA
  Both.

 INT. WILLIAM'S UPSTAIRS CORRIDOR - NIGHT

 They are walking up the stairs -- and stop at the top.

    ANNA
  Today has ben a good day.  Which under
  the circumstances is... unexpected.

    WILLIAM
  Well, thank you.
   (awkward pause)
  Anyway -- time for bed.  Or...
  sofa-bed.

    ANNA
  Right.

 Pause.  She leans forward, kisses him gently, then steps into
 the bedroom and closes the door.

 INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 William downstairs -- on a sofa -- under a duvet.  Eyes open.
 Thinking.  Pause and pause.

 He waits and waits -- the ultimate 'yearn.'  But nothing
 happens.  William gets off the sofa decisively.  Sits on the
 side of it.  Then gets back in again.

 Pause, pause, then... in the darkness, a stair creaks.  There's
 someone there.

    WILLIAM
   (to himself)
  Oh my God...
   (then...)
  Hello.

    SPIKE
  Hello.  I wonder if I could have a
  little word.

 He drifts round the corner, half-naked.

    WILLIAM
  Spike.

    SPIKE
  I don't want to interfere, or anything
  ... but she's split up from her boy-
  friend, that's right isn't it?

    WILLIAM
  Maybe.

    SPIKE
  And she's in your house.

    WILLIAM
  Yes.

    SPIKE
  And you get on very well.

    WILLIAM
  Yes.

    SPIKE
  Well, isn't this perhaps a good
  opportunity to... slip her one?

    WILLIAM
  Spike.  For God's sake -- she's in
  trouble -- get a grip.

    SPIKE
  Right.  Right.  You think it's the
  wrong moment.  Fair enough.
   (pause)
  Do you mind if I have a go?

    WILLIAM
  Spike!

    SPIKE
  No -- you're right.

    WILLIAM
  I'll talk to you in the morning.

    SPIKE
  Okay -- okay.  Might be too late, but
  okay.

 Back to William thinking again.  Dreamy atmosphere.  And then...
 more footsteps on the stairs.

    WILLIAM
  Oh please sod off.

    ANNA
  Okay.

    WILLIAM
  No! No.  Wait.  I... thought you were
  someone else.  I thought you were Spike.
  I'm delighted you're not.

 The darkness of the living room.  We see Anna in the shadow.

 INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 A few moments later.  William and Anna stand in the middle of
 the room.  He kisses her neck.  Then her shoulder.  What a
 miracle it is just to be able to touch this girl's skin.  Then
 he looks at her face.  That face.  He is suddenly struck by who
 it is.

    WILLIAM
  Wow.

    ANNA
  What?

 And then gets over it straight away.

    WILLIAM
  Nothing.

 And kisses her.

 INT. WILLIAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

 The middle of the night.  They are both asleep -- a yard apart.
 In sleep, her arm reaches out, touches his shoulder and then
 she wriggles across and re-settles herself, tenderly, right
 next to him.  He is not asleep and knows how extraordinary this
 all is.

 INT. WILLIAM'S BEDROOM - DAY

 The morning.

    WILLIAM
  It still strikes me as, well, surreal,
  that I'm allowed to see you naked.

    ANNA
  You and every person in this country.

    WILLIAM
  Oh God yes -- I'm sorry.

    ANNA
  What is it about men and nudity? 
  Particularly breasts -- how can you be so
  interested in them?

    WILLIAM
  Well...

    ANNA
  No seriously.  I mean, they're just
  breasts.  Every second person in the
  world has got them...

    WILLIAM
  More than that actually, when you think
  about it.  You know, Meatloaf has a very
  nice pair...

    ANNA
  But... they're odd-looking.  They're
  for milk.  Your mum's got them.  You
  must have seen a thousand of them --
  what's the fuss about?

    WILLIAM
   (pause)
  Actually, I can't think really -- let
  me just have a quick look...

 He looks under the sheet at her breasts.

    WILLIAM
  No, beats me.

 She laughs...

    ANNA
  Rita Hayworth used to say -- 'they go to
  bed with Gilda -- they wake up with me.'
  Do you feel that?

    WILLIAM
  Who was Gilda?

    ANNA
  Her most famous part -- men went to bed
  with the dream -- and they didn't like
  it when they woke up with the reality --
  do you feel that way with me?

    WILLIAM
   (pause)
  You're lovelier this morning than you
  have ever been.

    ANNA
   (very touched)
  Oh.

 She looks at him carefully.  Then leaps out of bed.

    ANNA
  I'll be back.

 INT. WILLIAM'S BEDROOM - MORNING

 William on the bed.  The door opens.  It is Anna with a tray of
 toast and tea.

    ANNA
  Breakfast in bed.  Or lunch, or brunch.

 She heads across.  She smiles and sits on the bed.

    ANNA
  Can I stay a bit longer?

    WILLIAM
  Stay forever.

    ANNA
  Damn, I forgot the jam.

 The doorbell goes.

    ANNA
  You get the door, I'll get the jam.

 INT./EXT. WILLIAM'S CORRIDOR - DAY

 William heads down the corridor and opens the door.  Outside
 are hundreds of paparazzi -- an explosion of cameras and
 questions, of noise and light.  The press seem to fill the
 entire street.

    WILLIAM
  Jesus Christ.

 He comes back inside, snapping the door behind him.  Anna is in
 the kitchen.

    ANNA
  What?

    WILLIAM
  Don't ask.

 She heads back the corridor, with no suspicion.

    ANNA
  You're up to something...

 She thinks he's fooling around.  She opens the door, the same
 explosion.  In a split second she's inside.

    ANNA
  Oh my God.  And they got a photo of you
  dressed like that?

    WILLIAM
  Undressed like this, yes.

    ANNA
  Jesus.

 INT. WILLIAM'S KITCHEN - DAY

 Anna is on the phone.  Spike is blithely heading downstairs to
 the kitchen in just his underpants.

    SPIKE
  Morning, daring ones.

 He does a thumbs up to William -- very excited about what he knows
 was a 'result.'

    ANNA
   (on the phone)
  It's Anna.  The press are here.  No,
  there are hundreds of them.  My
  brilliant plan was not so brilliant
  after all.  Yeh, I know, I know.  Just
  get me out then.
   (she hangs up)
  Damnit.